I have really bad taste in men- questions about restraining order/custody?

[Moomad]

I posted in here before with my panic about being a single mum.

I'm over that now. But does anyone else still have troubles with their ex?

Mine is violent, but not physically. At least not towards me.
He's recently been trying to control me. It started today, and ended today. He told me to "get rid" or he'd ruin my life and make me miserable. It's hard to think that he once loved me.

Anyway, I have the police coming over tomorow to discuss a harrassment charge- I never wanted that as I was being equally as awful to him over text today. One of the last things he said to me was that he hoped I had a miscarraige. Originallyasked the police about a restraining order, and they told me that I had to start with this.

So now, I assume he's going to try to ruin my life. In all honesty, he's already half way there. He's smashed my car up before, it's fixed now though. He made me give up my Ann Summers work, and I'm now living in a bedsit after moving in and then out with him.


What I'm trying to say... is, are there other people out there who have problems like this with their ex?

I want to get a restraining order on him, because I'm terrified of what he might do. How realistic is this? I don't even know how but I assume the police will talk me through that. Does anyone else have this with their FOB and if so, how has it worked out?

Also, is there such thing as arranging visits through a third party? I'm happy for him to see the baby, but I'd want it to be supervised by someone mutual. Is this realistic?

Also, can he apply for custody of the baby?

 

[Linz88]

he wont get custody unless he proves your a very unfit mother.
someone ino tried to get an injunction and it was really hard, as its your word against his..

 

[donegalfairy]

Been thru the same as you, police here doesnt offer any help unless it is physical violence.
Good luck hun and I hope he stays away from you!

 

[Moomad]

Thankyou girls, I spoke to the police today and they said that it's not threatening behaviour. But in my opinion, it is. He's making me stressed which could harm the baby and as ruining my life goes.. he'll be making things difficult for his baby too How does he think I'll feed a baby without money, and how can I cope without my mum. I asked the police lady about custody, and if he could get the baby taken away from me and she said that as long as I do everything right by my baby, then he'll have a hard time proving me as an unfit mother.

She also suggested that we speak to eachother about this with a third party involved so that's what I'm going to do.

 

[frouphea]

You might want to look into a contact centre for when lo is born:
https://www.naccc.org.uk/

 

[donegalfairy]

Thankyou girls, I spoke to the police today and they said that it's not threatening behaviour. But in my opinion, it is. He's making me stressed which could harm the baby and as ruining my life goes.. he'll be making things difficult for his baby too How does he think I'll feed a baby without money, and how can I cope without my mum. I asked the police lady about custody, and if he could get the baby taken away from me and she said that as long as I do everything right by my baby, then he'll have a hard time proving me as an unfit mother.

She also suggested that we speak to eachother about this with a third party involved so that's what I'm going to do.

Its spooky that we are going thru the exact thing!
This is exactly what my baby's daddy is doing. Name him as father=he will do all to fuck our lives up, and as he put it "if you want to play that game, then lets see how much you will like it.. i never lose".

And he has said he will do everything to make me declared as unfit mother and my precious little baby taken away from me.
I dont get why he is being like this, it is not like if I raped him and made him make a baby with me.
And at his age surely he knows hows a baby is created

 

[Moomad]

Oh bless!!! How far along are you?

It's hard to see them just turn like that, for them to suddenly want to cause you so much pain when they onced love you!!

The only difference between us is that I think my FOB wants to see the LO and that's fine with me because we can do it in a controlled, supervised way. Like frouphea up there ^^ has mentioned I just don't understand how he could expect to fuck my life up without also hurting the little one?

 

[donegalfairy]

I have about 2½ months left to due date.
I am not sure mine ever loved me... Perhaps that is why he doesnt want the baby?
I know he was attracted to me and that we went along great until I got pregnant.
He has another child that is just about 1½ and he takes such responsibility for her, meets her every day, does everything for her whilst he for my baby refuses to have anything to do with her.
I wish he changes his mind, for her sake, but if he doesn't I know we will be fine but it would be good for her to have him in his life if he just could stop acting like a childish teenager and try to fuck our lives up, its really cruel and selfish and he should realise he is responsible for his own actions.
I know he most likely is a real shit in every relationship he had... but I also know hes a lovely father for his other child.
But to me and my baby he has been nothing but a rotten egg!