I just kicked my husband out....

[Ceejay123]

Sorry this has happened and he was terribly irresponsible so good job throwing his out but I'm a bit aghast at the number of people that think he deserved a slap. I don't believe that'd be the reaction if a man had reacted to his legless wife in that way.

I'm so glad you've said this, because I've been thinking it the whole post. Op obviously is regretful, but people are saying well deserved. There's never a reason to hit somebody. If a woman came home at 11:30 drunk and her husband slapped her would you say she deserved it? :/.

But again, I'm sorry you're going through this, did you find your car in one piece? Has he moved out and agreed to separation or is he hounding you? Chin up, if he prefers a drink to his child he should be ashamed x

 

[lhancock90]

i have to agree with what seems to be an unpopular opinion.
I understand he was being an arse, but the slaps are not okay.
If the situation was reversed we'd be calling domestic assault.
It scares me how blaise women are about being violent towards men.
I think you need to sit him down and talk to him, lay how you feel on the table and give him some options, curb the drinking and be more responsible or leave.

 

[babyhopes2010]

ur doing the right thing

 

[Mrs W 11]

Sendings hugs to you Hun, it sounds like you are doing the right thing.... Something needs to change, he's got a family now and should be being a responsible daddy/Hubble that you guys can rely on.

Agree you shouldn't have slapped him, the ladies saying if the situation was reversed it would be seen as unacceptable are right. But you already know that...

How was today, did you do your kit day? Have you heard from him?

X

 

[I-want-1-2]

Went into work, which was good. The car was in one piece, when I was picking it up his partner in crime was on his way to his car - he's a married man with no kids who is always on at oh to go out with him. He saw me and actually HID in his car! Until I waved at him that is! Idiot. Needed him to know I'd seen him. Oh came home as I was getting lo ready to go to my sisters. He didn't say a word to me, ironed a new shirt for work and got a shower. I left without saying anything and I've not heard anything from him. His stuff is still here so I don't know whether he'll turn up later or not. So unresolved, but I don't want him here any more.

And yes, I do regret slapping him and agree re the domestic abuse comments. Ashamed of myself for that and I know he'll use it against me - he won't apologise because he'll see me as being more at fault.

 

[mummylove]

I would of slapped him to!

You have done the right thing hun for u and ur child. Good look for the future

 

[babybrums]

My OH has a bit of a drinking problem, or rather had. The last straw happened about two months ago. OH got completely wasted one night and ended up passed out on the bathroom floor after throwing up for about two hours. I couldn't even understand a word he said he was that drunk (that's what drinking 18 - 16oz cans of beer will do to a 160lb man). Then to top it off I was afraid he might come to bed and pass out while LO was sleeping with me or, if I left him in his bassinet in the living room, trip on it on the way out of the bathroom. I got no sleep that night. I told him he should be upset with himself for letting his son down. I also told him it was either us or his drinking - his choice. He really has turned around. I'm not suggesting you take him back but if you two decided to work things out, let him know it's not just you he's letting down anymore, it's LO. It's perfectly acceptable to have a drink or two. That's it though. There is no need to drink like a frat boy anymore once you have kids.

 

[bookworm0901]

Such a difficult situation! You sound like you've given him every chance you've had in you though.

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

Im not taking sides so please dont start on me

I agree that it is awful for your husband to roll in legless on a monday night, expect you to be all rosy about it, expect you to pay for the taxi and wake your sleeping baby!! That is awful and I would also be upset and angry about it!! I do not agree that you should lift your hand and hit him because of it!! I understand that he called you names and that is unacceptable!! He should be put to bed and you and your husband talk about it tomorrow when he is in a better frame of mind as there is no point in talking to a drunk person as you will only get more angry and he wont have a clue what is going on!! As you mentioned that you both work in finance and it is fuelled by drinks with clients etc, so maybe you should understand that this is part of the job, still not acceptable to be totally drunk, maybe a few drinks yes but not drunk!! I think you need to sit down with him and explain that his behaviour is unacceptable and you would like him to cut down on his drinking even if he only had a couple instead of getting drunk!! Personally I can see your point, my oh goes out every friday and comes home legless and at the beginning I was really angry and upset about it but I have overcome it now and accept his one night a week!! I think you need to calm down and sleep on it, leaving your husband over what happened tonight is silly, you are probably just upset!! Please think it through and come to a compromise

Ps I dont mean for this comment to sound ''whatever way it seems'' I didnt mean it to be cheeky or like I was offending, I just didnt know what words to use!!

 

[sg2011]

Geez...for all those "ladies" who said they would slap their husbands too I would hope he would slap you right back if that is the case. No one should be violent whether it be the man OR the woman.

To the OP...I hope this works out in the way you most want it to. I would have been very upset if it were my DH as well.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Of course violence is never the answer, but come on! Telling people they hope their OH hits them back? He deserved the slap for being so damn stupid.

 

[lhancock90]

Of course violence is never the answer, but come on! Telling people they hope their OH hits them back? He deserved the slap for being so damn stupid.

You are the very last person i expected to see say that Ozzie.

 

[Embo78]

The people who are saying he deserved to be slapped, would you say the same if he'd slapped her for rolling in drunk??

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Ah well. You learn something new every day!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Anyways, stop focusing on the slap. It's not helping anything.

 

[Kristin52]

I would've slapped him too!

OP, I know it sucks. Nothing peeves me more than a man putting his wife and child aside to go get completely trashed. Good luck and be strong!

 

[NotNic]

I also work in Finance as does my sister and many of my friends. My father still works on the money markets. My godparents and parent's friend were also in the industry and I've been around enough couples bickering to realise that there is a way forward - communication, trust and ground rules, rather than ending the r'ship. Id advise the OP to agree nights that the oh can socialise for work (My Dad would do Tues and Thurs, and alter his days if a big client was in, but would try yo cut back the following week), make clear the sleeping arrangements, introduce a date night / lie in and ensure that they know when the oh would be in, and that a text would be sent if plans change.

Also to people who aren't familiar with the sector, I dont think you can claim that someone who goes out is an alcoholic. When it comes to client entertainment it is an integral part of the job. You can't 'not' do it just because your wife said so. In my company we are not allowed to trade if we have had more than two alcoholic drinks, so given that, it's not uncommon, on occasions for my colleagues to not return to the office. Obviously you don't have to drink but in a pressurised environment (and peer pressure from colleagues) it's not surprising that the OP's partner does. BTW - I'm not saying that the partner hasn't behaved badly, just that the situation isn't as black and white as he prefers drink to the baby. By socialising he could justify that he is protecting his job and providing for his baby.

Good luck OP. My parents have been married 37yrs now. It is possible to go forward if you're both committed to making it work and working together. xx

 

[MrsEngland]

So sorry your having to deal with all this