toddlerdrama
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- May 14, 2009
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I am not a single parent, but I might as well be. I am married to a quiet poindexter, who is always on his computer. We don't go out, or even talk. I go out without being questioned (which I would be pissed if I had a guy that did question me anyways) and I wouldn't care if he went out, which he never does except for work. We have one daughter who is 4, and going through her terrible 3's-4's. He adores her, and they are always hanging out together. Because i am "the mean parent" because I don't let her talk back, and do whatever she wants, she is always rude to me... (which I crack down on immediately) and loves to argue (which I hate arguing with anyone... worst a 4 year old) I am happy they are close, and the more time that goes by, I just want to leave them both together and take off... (sad to say... but guys do it all the time)
Unfortunately, in December... even though our relationship sucked... I was going through my horny 30 and got pregnant again. I was going to school and about to start a program this fall 09 that would make me a lot of money. So I got pissed that I couldn't go to school because of hyperemesis, and I can't go to school in the Fall, because I don't have any babysitters... I don't have any parents, family or friends... so I have to stay home. I work at night, so if I did go and work days to find an official babysitting company... it would cost about $700 which I can't really afford.
I really hate being in a marriage where there is absolutely no communication other than an ocassional "what do you want to eat" or "she's sick" no other words.
My plus factors for me though is that I have a night time babysitter (husband). There is no physical or verbal abuse. My daughter is very close to her dad... and I get half my rent, and powerbills payed. Basically I have a live in nanny/roommate.
I just feel like my life is slowed down, because I am high risk pregnancy, in a lot of personal debt (which I can pay off while living with baby daddy, but not living on my own) I am always tired, and angry because I am tired, but I just don't want to do anything.
If he cheated I won't even care, because I am so done with sex, I just want to be left alone. He was never that much into sex and I had to always beg him like some kind of dog, which pissed me off, because I was like "What kind of man doesn't like sex?"
I really want to be on my own and think I would be happier, but it would definately be harder. I would have to pay rent on my own, plus all my debt bills. My thinking now is just to lay low, because there is no drama, until I can go back to school in a year or 2, but that seems so long to me...
I just wish I could go back 9 years ago when we broke up the first time and not even get back together...
Unfortunately, in December... even though our relationship sucked... I was going through my horny 30 and got pregnant again. I was going to school and about to start a program this fall 09 that would make me a lot of money. So I got pissed that I couldn't go to school because of hyperemesis, and I can't go to school in the Fall, because I don't have any babysitters... I don't have any parents, family or friends... so I have to stay home. I work at night, so if I did go and work days to find an official babysitting company... it would cost about $700 which I can't really afford.
I really hate being in a marriage where there is absolutely no communication other than an ocassional "what do you want to eat" or "she's sick" no other words.
My plus factors for me though is that I have a night time babysitter (husband). There is no physical or verbal abuse. My daughter is very close to her dad... and I get half my rent, and powerbills payed. Basically I have a live in nanny/roommate.
I just feel like my life is slowed down, because I am high risk pregnancy, in a lot of personal debt (which I can pay off while living with baby daddy, but not living on my own) I am always tired, and angry because I am tired, but I just don't want to do anything.
If he cheated I won't even care, because I am so done with sex, I just want to be left alone. He was never that much into sex and I had to always beg him like some kind of dog, which pissed me off, because I was like "What kind of man doesn't like sex?"
I really want to be on my own and think I would be happier, but it would definately be harder. I would have to pay rent on my own, plus all my debt bills. My thinking now is just to lay low, because there is no drama, until I can go back to school in a year or 2, but that seems so long to me...
I just wish I could go back 9 years ago when we broke up the first time and not even get back together...
