I literally have never felt so alone.

[rubixcyoob.]

This isn't a rant, or asking for advice, or anything like that. It's just getting my feelings out somewhere because otherwise I'll break.

Tonight me and OH argued. It was both our faults and I'm not going to pass the blame off on him. I know I contributed to it as much as he did. So we decided to not speak or see each other until I'm in labour. We both need our own space and since we don't live together chances are we wouldn't be together until I was in the hospital in labour anyways.
I know I agreed to this too but I just got really upset at the thought of not seeing him or speaking to him, it could be 2 weeks maximum basically. That's not long for some people but for me it seems like a life time. I don't like not seeing him for a few days never mind not knowing how long! However, it's for the best and I know that, otherwise we wouldn't have much of a relationship left.

But then being upset from not being with him I realised how alone I really am. When I left school for uni, all but a few friends stopped talking to me and even fewer actually included me in plans. I wasn't bothered too much as I was living in halls and always had people to talk to. I didn't feel alone then. I also had my two best friends and they would visit, I'd go home and see them etc.

That changed once my pregnancy became well known though. The little friends that spoke to me dropped to even fewer. Maybe 3-4 of the group of people around 20-30 I knew and talked to daily for 5 years was all that was left, and from those people only 2 or so of them ever asked me to do anything. Unfortunately it was on days I was working/had class etc. so I couldn't. Now they don't invite me out because I'm too far gone.

One best friend has stuck by me through everything. I've known her for 13 years and love her like a sister. We've never not spoken or fallen out. I couldn't have done much without her tbh and although we hardly seen each other when I was at university, we always talked and texted etc. For the past 5 weeks she has been in Africa though and she comes home on Friday, to leave on Saturday for Italy for another 3 weeks. So I'm still not going to have her.

My other best friend hit the road as soon as she was 18. No one wants a boring pregnant girl to come out. No one. I tried to keep a friendship with her but she rejected it over and over again.

Having reflected on this I've realised how truly alone I am. I don't have enough 'friends' to count with both hands and right now none of them are here to do anything with or just don't want to include me because I'm basically at my due date. I've never really though about this before because I always had OH there. I mean, he's made me happier than anyone and I prefer being with him to anyone. He is literally my best friend now and I couldn't manage or cope without him, I know that. For the first time in my life I know what love is, and I love him.
But knowing I won't be seeing him for ages has truly made me pity my life. It's not really a life, I have no one bar my few members of family I talk to, my OH and a best friend who I won't have seen for over 2 months. I really don't mind this existance what so ever, I prefer it that way. Yet sitting alone, with no friends to talk to because they've all let me go, it's made me realise I am pretty much a loner. I really wish I had more friends. Not a lot, just a few. Surely it isn't too much to ask for?

 

[LovingYou]

 

[AriannasMama]

Give him a few days to cool off, and call him back, apologize for your part and maybe it will get better, I am sure he is just as lonely and feeling bad about it as you are.

 

[Desi's_lost]

You'll get through I promise.

 

[QuintinsMommy]

I feel the same way, even tho I have quin now, I'm still very very lonely, and I can't go anywhere anyway...
haha, sorry im not much help , I will just w/ you

 

[Katumz]

I know exactly how you feel, well sorta. I'v never really had to many friends one who seems to have dropped me for a new friend and the other actually recently had a baby, and her and her husband don't like my OH......and just like you he is my best friend and I do prefer his company over anyone elses.......even when he goes over someones house for the weekend I get sad because truthfully he is my only company.

I know if you two love each other it will work out so even if your lonely right now just replay memories of you two together and think of your future together.

Lots of hugs and I know you will be alright

 

[Desi's_lost]

Are there any new mother groups around that you could join?

 

[rockys-mumma]

I feel the same as you! I was in my 2nd year when i fell pregnant. Uni friends didn't want to know as they were too busy going and getting drunk and hometown friends had got used to me not being there and my only good friend that stood by me is at Brunel so only see her when shes home and shes always super busy meeting her zillion friends from uni and stuff. Without OH i feel like i have no-one except my mum >_< and we are on bad terms at the min, we live together but may aswel not have for the past week no advice really just letting you know i feel the same and am here to talk if you want!

 

[faeriedusted]

I'm in the same boat hon, I have absolutely no friends around and my brothers barely speak to me, they don't like OH and so are pretending this pregnancy isn't happening. OH lives 2 hours away, and while he spends every other night here, we've been fighting sooo much and it makes me feel so alone. And when he's not here I resent him for not being here. If 2 weeks is what it takes to save your relationship - tough it out bb I know you can do it. Being lonely sucks. But the BnB girls are here and soon your LO will be here too!!

 

[Sophiiie]

I'm in the same position, but I second the mother & baby groups idea, that's what I'm planning to do because I'm hoping that meeting other mums will mean that I can have some friends that are mature enough to be true friends, and not abandon me the second that I can't go out and get wasted with them x

 

[divershona]

didnt want to read and run bbe, but hope things work out for you soon

 

[vaniilla]

I know how you feel I'd been living in cornwall for a year and moved back to surrey this month and my old friends have pretty much forgotten me or are ignoring me because I'm pregnant, some of them are being really nasty about it I live with OH but he's at work full time so I don't see him as much as I would like, so for now I'm stuck home all day by myself yay!!!! I'm really sorry you're going through this and I would love to say it gets better but we need to do something about, maybe join a parenting group or some sort of hobby group where you meet peope

 

[Youngling]

*hugs*
Im sorry hun. I have days like this too. But honestly no1 else will matter once u have LO here, and ur so close to
xx

 

[aob1013]

Give it a few days Amy, you need him more than ever during the last couple of weeks xx

 

[mayb_baby]

^ ^ I agree xox

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

i know exactly how you feel, you're not alone...
i dunno if you've had people saying things like "i've got something for the baby" but you haven't seen them the whole time you've been pregnant, and you know you won't see them once the baby's born..

Just focus on the people you HAVE got, my mum and my OH, have been so amazing, without them i'd truely have nobody either...
it's normal for couples to argue - even to near destruction - but just give him a few days, and maybe go back and talk - you both know that you love each other, and that really does half this stuff matter, is there not some way you can comprimise?

maybe join some groups once bubs is here - after all you need adult conversation!! butif you look i'm sure there's loads, and they can be really helpful..
and don't forget you have US!!!! i'm always here if you ever want to talk, i've got you on facebook too, if you want to talk on there!!
xxxx

 

[Natasha2605]

Aw . You'll get through these next few weeks and have your baba to keep you occupied soon. As for the ''friends'', as I've learnt they can't be that good mates if they ditch you whilst your pregnant. xx

 

[pinkribbon]

Just wanted to let you know you're not on your own.

Even the people I considered my best friends have completely let me down. One of them I told I was pregnant before I'd told anyone, I asked her not to tell anyone, especially not her boyfriend who is MY ex. She told him anyway then lied about it. She sent me a message on facebook the other day saying sorry and I told her where to shove it. I don't know what's worse, the fact she's seeing my ex, that she told him my secret, lied, or that she hasn't seen me since I was about 3 months preg and suddenly thinks she can just build bridges now.

The other girl I'd been inseperable from all the way through primary and high school, even through our college years and with me being at uni we were still close. Then she got a boyfriend and seemingly forgot about me. Never invites me out.... she'll occasionally reply a text but as soon as I mention going out she just doesn't reply. I know her phone's working and so is her facebook. I don't know if that's cause she's sooo wrapped up in her bf, or if she has some wierd feelings cause she was pregnant last year and had an abortion at 12 weeks. She says she doesn't regret it at all but now I'm preg maybe she does?

There's one friend I wouldn't have gotten this far without, she's amazing, she's given me loads of clothes for Jake when he arrives and has let me stay at hers when I've had fights with OH and stuff.... Only problem is she has a yr old and 6ish month old and a job so she's obviously very busy. She doesn't live really local to me either, 45 min metro or 35 min bus that only comes every half hour. I really miss her but we speak on the phone.

When my OH isn't around I feel really lonely, we've had lots of fights while I've been pregnant and sometimes I feel like my life is empty... when he's with his friends I'm just on my own. I spend alot of time with my Mum but she's on hol for 2 weeks so just me.

Even on here I'm basically a stranger lol. Just wanted to let you know you're totally not alone, I think a lot of people go through it when they're pregnant. My friend with the 2 kids said you get them all come round when the baby's born just being nosey A-holes and they're never involved after that. I suppose I'm prepared for it now though.

 

[rubixcyoob.]

Me and him are talking today, but that isn't what the thread was about. It was just because I've really realised I have basicly no friends anymore and I feel so alone on that front.

Sadly there are no teenage parent groups near me at all, which I was in disbelief about. My area seems to have a high rate of teen mums (and I never even noticed until I became pregnant lol)

But thanks girls (L)

 

[samface182]

losing friends is the thing i have found the hardest about being pregnant, but i guess i have got used to it in a way, im lonely everyday, only company i get is when chris gets in from work or if i see my mum when she finishes work. i have chris and my family. that's it. not one friend.

my 'best friend' has gradually contacted me less and less, and no one else seems to care about me anymore
all they care about is getting drunk and going out.
i know they will all try and run back when the baby is here, and come up and see him. but i will be telling them to piss off lol.

you know im always here to talk amy xx