Im sorry to hear about your very traumatic story, but hope that you will take some comfort in the fact that the ladies here are incredibly supportive -- my loss was much earlier (at 7-8wks), but I always assumed it was a little girl (because I wanted one so much, my rainbow is a little boy, but I love him to absolute bits!) , perhaps if you don't find out the sex, you could at least refer to 'it' as the baby/I refer to 'mine' as my lost little one?
best wishes