Evian260
Mom of 3
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- Jul 22, 2010
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Ever since my son was born I've been debating about going back to work or not. I was only working part time before I had him, and my husband and I decided I would stay at home to raise him with the option to go back to work if I wanted to or we needed me to. I tried going back to work when my son was 6 months old - I tried one day and couldn't do it. I picked him up from his crib sleepy, picked him up from the sitter sleepy, and then he went right to bed. I cried and cried because I felt like I would be missing too much. It was the right choice at the time because he was still so little and I was glad to have the ability to choose.
My husband got a promotion so now we are even better off for me not to work, but I just feel useless being at home. I don't ever get dressed because I'm constantly chasing around my son and all of his toys. I just feel in the dumps. I have a Bachelors degree and I'm not using it. It's not like the jobs are fruitful in my field at the moment (public relations) - but even entry level jobs in PR that I have applied for they have said I don't have enough experience. It's such a horrible feeling - I love my son to pieces but I can't STAND being at home. At the same time I can't STAND being away from him. I don't know what to do. The last week or so has been pretty hard. I don't know if it's because he's all of a sudden so much more mobile or what, but I'm feeling pretty down. I'm worried because I had postpartum depression for 6 weeks after he was born and took zoloft up until September-October. I went off it because I didn't need it anymore. I'm hoping this isn't a relapse at all - I don't feel half the things I felt when he was a newborn and I had it (like not wanting to take care of him, wanting to disappear, etc). I just feel confused and conflicted and lonely.
I'm trying to sell lia sophia jewelry in hopes it'd get me out of the house (just started in December) and I have a part time, maybe 1 shift a week job at Bath and Body Works - but sometimes part time is harder with trying to find a sitter, etc.
Sorry for the rant. I'm just sad. Both of my sisters are very successful (one is a pharmacist and the other has her Masters from Harvard) - and here I am with my Bachelors in journalism, never had a job in the field and I'm a SAHM with huge student loans. I feel like my brain is going to mush. I just don't know what to do.
My husband got a promotion so now we are even better off for me not to work, but I just feel useless being at home. I don't ever get dressed because I'm constantly chasing around my son and all of his toys. I just feel in the dumps. I have a Bachelors degree and I'm not using it. It's not like the jobs are fruitful in my field at the moment (public relations) - but even entry level jobs in PR that I have applied for they have said I don't have enough experience. It's such a horrible feeling - I love my son to pieces but I can't STAND being at home. At the same time I can't STAND being away from him. I don't know what to do. The last week or so has been pretty hard. I don't know if it's because he's all of a sudden so much more mobile or what, but I'm feeling pretty down. I'm worried because I had postpartum depression for 6 weeks after he was born and took zoloft up until September-October. I went off it because I didn't need it anymore. I'm hoping this isn't a relapse at all - I don't feel half the things I felt when he was a newborn and I had it (like not wanting to take care of him, wanting to disappear, etc). I just feel confused and conflicted and lonely.
I'm trying to sell lia sophia jewelry in hopes it'd get me out of the house (just started in December) and I have a part time, maybe 1 shift a week job at Bath and Body Works - but sometimes part time is harder with trying to find a sitter, etc.
Sorry for the rant. I'm just sad. Both of my sisters are very successful (one is a pharmacist and the other has her Masters from Harvard) - and here I am with my Bachelors in journalism, never had a job in the field and I'm a SAHM with huge student loans. I feel like my brain is going to mush. I just don't know what to do.
so try not to compare yourself to others. With reguards to the wanting to work but not wanting to be away from your son i understand cos i'm the same. I worked part time for a year & i missed my son so much yet when i left work i felt myself feeling down as i just didnt have anything to do 
isnt there a day care near yourself he could go to rather than an actual sitter? Wouldnt that be easier for you both?
