H
HkLiz
Guest
I'm not sure what to do anymore, or where to turn. I've talked to a close friend, and she gave me some suggestions, but I'm just about to break...
My 3 y/o (4 on halloween) Brayden is out of control. I think he might be a little bi-polar. First I thought it was maybe Obsessive-compulsive, because he was freaking out over things like what color bowl he ate out of, or what carseat he was using. Then it changed to, Mood swings like you wouldn't believe.
Yesterday for example. We were upstairs at the neighbors (she has two girls 2, and 6) and the kids were playing perfect. And all of a sudden brayden and trevor (yea her girls have boy names) are screaming at each other. I go in there and they are fighting over a blanket. Brayden wants it, and trevor says no because it's her moms blanket. I told them to stop fighting and told brayden that he couldn't have the blanket, because it wasn't his. He then screamed at me telling me he wanted it. I then remembered in "The explosive child" That you need to ask why they want what they are asking for. So I ask him why he wants the blanket, and he just says because I want it. I told him that it wasn't his, and there was no reason for him to need the blanket, and i took it out of the room. He cried for like 2 minutes then they were back to playing nice. Just like that. He went from screaming and fighting to perfectly happy. then they started fighting again, Over a toy. And so I told him that we were going home, and he was going to have lunch then take a nap. He threw a fit didn't want to go downstairs. I started packing up the stuff i had ( my cell, laptop, charger, house keys) and I asked koda to carry the laptop charger down stairs for me, and all of a sudden brayden was totally happy and wanted to help. He was all for going downstairs.
So we get downstairs and I ask them to help clean up the livingroom, they both did great. Then told them to go play while I made lunch. Then he asked for some juice, I told him he could have some with lunch, and he freaked out, yelling how he wanted juice, and he wasn't hungry and he's not eating. He started bawling and ran to his room. I tried getting him when lunch was done and told him he had lunch and juice at the table and he yelled and told me he wasn't having any and started crying again. He made me feel so bad. I felt like a bad mom for making him wait 10 minutes to have some juice. He eventually cried him self asleep.
There are days where it's worse than that, and then there are days where he goes on throughout the day without a problem at all.
I thought it was attention he needed. So I give him attention. We watch movies, play video games, we play bored games, and read. And he still has fits.
I've tried all different kinds of discipline. Spanking, time outs, going in the corner, taking away toys, video games, making bed times earlier, no desserts. I've tried praising koda when he's good, and letting brayden know that if he's good, he can get treats too. Nothing sticks.
I've tried different approaches. I've tried Plan A,B,and C (plan A is Strict. My way or no way. Plan B is flexible. I understand you want this but why, reasoning. Plan C I try to avoid at all cost. It's just giving the child whatever he/she wants, and giving in to the fits.) I've tried ignoring it. again, nothing sticks.
I'm just out of options. It's making me feel like such a horrible parent. I don't understand how koda (he's 5) can listen so well, and brayden be this way. We treat them the same. Neither is given any special treatment.. He has a good life.
I just don't understand what a 3 year old has to be so angry about.
My family members all tell me the same thing. And when I tell them that I am trying that, that, and that. Their reply..? "Well maybe you're trying hard enough" I'm not trying enough. It just breaks my heart. I do try. I'm sick of spending my days crying and stressed out. I just don't know what to do anymore....
My 3 y/o (4 on halloween) Brayden is out of control. I think he might be a little bi-polar. First I thought it was maybe Obsessive-compulsive, because he was freaking out over things like what color bowl he ate out of, or what carseat he was using. Then it changed to, Mood swings like you wouldn't believe.
Yesterday for example. We were upstairs at the neighbors (she has two girls 2, and 6) and the kids were playing perfect. And all of a sudden brayden and trevor (yea her girls have boy names) are screaming at each other. I go in there and they are fighting over a blanket. Brayden wants it, and trevor says no because it's her moms blanket. I told them to stop fighting and told brayden that he couldn't have the blanket, because it wasn't his. He then screamed at me telling me he wanted it. I then remembered in "The explosive child" That you need to ask why they want what they are asking for. So I ask him why he wants the blanket, and he just says because I want it. I told him that it wasn't his, and there was no reason for him to need the blanket, and i took it out of the room. He cried for like 2 minutes then they were back to playing nice. Just like that. He went from screaming and fighting to perfectly happy. then they started fighting again, Over a toy. And so I told him that we were going home, and he was going to have lunch then take a nap. He threw a fit didn't want to go downstairs. I started packing up the stuff i had ( my cell, laptop, charger, house keys) and I asked koda to carry the laptop charger down stairs for me, and all of a sudden brayden was totally happy and wanted to help. He was all for going downstairs.
So we get downstairs and I ask them to help clean up the livingroom, they both did great. Then told them to go play while I made lunch. Then he asked for some juice, I told him he could have some with lunch, and he freaked out, yelling how he wanted juice, and he wasn't hungry and he's not eating. He started bawling and ran to his room. I tried getting him when lunch was done and told him he had lunch and juice at the table and he yelled and told me he wasn't having any and started crying again. He made me feel so bad. I felt like a bad mom for making him wait 10 minutes to have some juice. He eventually cried him self asleep.
There are days where it's worse than that, and then there are days where he goes on throughout the day without a problem at all.
I thought it was attention he needed. So I give him attention. We watch movies, play video games, we play bored games, and read. And he still has fits.
I've tried all different kinds of discipline. Spanking, time outs, going in the corner, taking away toys, video games, making bed times earlier, no desserts. I've tried praising koda when he's good, and letting brayden know that if he's good, he can get treats too. Nothing sticks.
I've tried different approaches. I've tried Plan A,B,and C (plan A is Strict. My way or no way. Plan B is flexible. I understand you want this but why, reasoning. Plan C I try to avoid at all cost. It's just giving the child whatever he/she wants, and giving in to the fits.) I've tried ignoring it. again, nothing sticks.
I'm just out of options. It's making me feel like such a horrible parent. I don't understand how koda (he's 5) can listen so well, and brayden be this way. We treat them the same. Neither is given any special treatment.. He has a good life.
I just don't understand what a 3 year old has to be so angry about.
My family members all tell me the same thing. And when I tell them that I am trying that, that, and that. Their reply..? "Well maybe you're trying hard enough" I'm not trying enough. It just breaks my heart. I do try. I'm sick of spending my days crying and stressed out. I just don't know what to do anymore....
x
