i need some other mums opinions on this PLEASE

[kat132]

Hi,

My almost 5 year old will not play with his toys and has no imagination at all. he has fire stations, fire engines, train sets, cars, ramps, toy story figurines and more but all he wants to do is watch tv and play on his ds. I have limited his time with both but he will spend hours bugging me until i give in. I have sat down with him and showed him how to play with his toys and make up stories wih them. He will sit down with playdoh for 10 mins before he is bored. I used to play with that for hours when i was little. This is now rubbing off on my younger son who only wants to watch tv now. He used to play with his toys all the time.
I am worried about it and really dont know what to do. I want my kids to be kids. me and my brother would play with toys for hours to the point where my mum would have to tell me to go to bed because i would get out of bed and carry on my story with my dolls.
I feel alone in this as my friends kids all play with their toys so they have no advice, help

 

[AP]

I think you have to be tough now and switch of the television full stop, I know you had this issue before? It will be difficult, they will go on and on about wanting those things but stick it out - it wont happen in a day. If they are really pushing it I'd just say the TV is broken

Use a timer if you want to limit it to an hour or two.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Lucas has gone through phases like this and I've done what AP said and just banned TV full stop for periods. At one point I think I even removed it.
If I give him the opportunity he'd much rather sit staring at a screen so I just don't give him the opportunity. If he starts spending too much time on his handheld games I hide them for a while (he got a tablet for Christmas, I hid it before New Year and touch wood he seems to have forgotten about it for now )
He's not going to sit there staring at the wall so if there's nothing else to take his attention he'll start picking up his toys.

 

[sbl]

I agree with pp you have to turn the tv off.
He won't be happy but he'll soon get used to it and start using his imagination.
On occasion I have noticed lo watching a bit too much tv and I just switch it off.
We don't do tv/screen time here for 2 hours before bed and the difference in her sleeping is amazing too!

 

[Boomerslady]

I'm guilty of this too. Ben does still play with his toys but would rather have the iPad. We have set times he's allowed it now. He was really naughty at school when he started and I put it away for 2 weeks (told him it wasn't even in the house so he could nag and nag!) and he definitely appreciates it much more now and understands he can only have it certain times.

 

[Neko]

My son went through periods of this, especially with the video games. He's 15 and he still does, mostly things on his laptop lately.

I wouldn't take away TV and video games entirely. That might make it even more desirable when he gets an opportunity. But I would limit screen time to 1-2 hours per day. Also, I would feel guilty switching it off entirely during the winter. Here in the northeast US we are going to be snowed in for a day or two. I think I would go crazy if the kids had no TV access. It's not like you can all year long tell them to go and play outside.

 

[OmarsMum]

Get a box, name it treasure box and fill it with junk like postcards, slips, coins, papers, puncher, paperclips, measuring tape, etc.

DS is not into toys, he still plays with his cars, I found that a good clean up and keeping limited amount of toys around really helps.

DS has wide imagination and he doesn't watch tv unless he is tired. I also found that at this age boys are more interested in balls and running around rather than sitting and doing activities especially if they go to school full time.

At this age like like board and card games so you can try those.

 

[EcoMama]

We're not fans of computer games so my son has never had a ds or games console, & Tbh I don't undestand why kids under the age of 11 have use of ipads and the like.... All the educational apps on them can be done using crafts and imagination.

I am guilty of letting ds watch too much telly, so I limit it to an hour after school and a couple pf hours in the morn on weekend, then a dvd on weekend afternoon if we're not out.

I also have hos toys on our living room so they're readily available and visual x

 

[RachA]

It'd say you need to go 2 things.
1- either limit the tv/DS usage and stick to it or take away totally.

2 - limit the number of toys available at any one time.

The more toys you have available the harder they find it to settle and play with one.

If you do allow tv etc then set a timer and explain that when it goes off the tv goes off and if he kicks up a fuss he won't be allowed it for as long next time etc.

I do actually think tablets etc can be really useful for children but when they are wanting to do nothing but play on the tablet and watch tv then I don't think it's good.

 

[jd83]

It'd say you need to go 2 things.
1- either limit the tv/DS usage and stick to it or take away totally.

2 - limit the number of toys available at any one time.

The more toys you have available the harder they find it to settle and play with one.

If you do allow tv etc then set a timer and explain that when it goes off the tv goes off and if he kicks up a fuss he won't be allowed it for as long next time etc.

I do actually think tablets etc can be really useful for children but when they are wanting to do nothing but play on the tablet and watch tv then I don't think it's good.

Agree. The timing of this thread is pretty spot on for me, actually, as we are dealing with this too. DS1 has been playing less and less lately, and it was bothering me, so last night DH and I divided up a bunch of their toys into totes so that not everything will be out at once. We put the totes in the basement, and plan to rotate toys. We did this when they were younger and it worked pretty well, so going to try it again. I think they literally have just been getting overwhelmed by too many choices, and too many toys on the floor (because they like to just get them all out and walk away..) I'm hoping having less options will encourage them to play with what's out, rather than not knowing what toy to pick to play with.

Also, I'm limiting TV time now. I think this is the other problem. I've never been a stickler with it, I'm an everything in moderation type person. But its starting to effect his willingness to play, because he'd rather watch cartoons. So he gets 2-3 cartoons a day, and then he needs to play or do some activities. I've been limiting the TV for a while, and its helping, but I think limiting the toys will help more too.

My son also likes games a lot, and learning activities. I've been getting those out more and more, as he prefers them a lot of the time rather than playing with toys. I don't care which he picks, board game, puzzle, toys, etc, just so long as he's doing some activity for part of the evening.

 

[emyandpotato]

My LO will watch TV and play with the iPad 90% of the time if allowed. Actually, this week it's all we've both done as we're ill! But you just have to be strict and say no. Maybe in your situation it'd be best to get rid of the TV altogether, or say it's broken for a while? Children can get absolutely addicted to them.

 

[SwissMiss]

Ugh, Kilian was in this phase for awhile just recently. No matter what I did (I do turn the tv off after his show in the morning) he just couldn't seem to settle down and play with his toys.
I don't know what exactly triggered it, but as of this week he's back to playing with his cars again and making up stories etc with them I agree with what everyone says, set specific times he can have tv or ipad, stick to them and change/rotate the toys available to him at any one day.
xxx

 

[sippy1989]

I would suggest enrolling them in some extra curricular activities so it gets them interacting with other kids and minimizes their time to watch tv and play on the ds. Maybe the activities will inspire their imaginations?

 

[EcoMama]

I wouldnt be too hard on yourself. This time of year doesnt help, all we want to do as a family is hibernate after school!....

 

[Laucu]

I Agree with PP don't be too hard on yourself, I always let these rules slip when it's horrid outside.

J did go through a phase of playing on the iPad but doesn't ask for it much now. His new addiction is Bing Bunny which he would watch all day if I let him!

If you feel like you need to reign it in, have set times during the day for screen time. When it's not that time, hide the DS and turn the TV off.

 

[kerrie24]

My son is the exact same, even says hes bored at school! The only time he plays is if me or oh brings a game or toy down to play with him,never chooses to play on his own.He will sit and draw for a while.Its hard to take the computers away when you have older children who use them too.

 

[tallybee]

It's really hard isn't it. But yeah I agree with others, if you strictly limit screen time and persevere with that, it'll pay off x