I need to stay here (RANT)

[BearsMummy]

Hi there,

I'm so stupid, I always go straight to the 'normal' TTC section, make friends, then they end up getting their bfp, and I'm left all alone again!!

I have my FS appointment today (follow up after 3 months of 50mg Clomid) and I am making myself sick with worry.
I have no idea what will happen today.

I have already been told, the only fertility treatment I will have is Clomid. And I did O the first cycle, with a high progesterone level at 7dpo, so I'm thinking they won't even up the dose, will they?

I'm so scared.

I am staying here, staying put and you cannot get rid of me now!! I need the support of you ladies in here, you all understand how I'm feeling.

I should be happy and excited for my appointment today, but I'm not. I know there is nothing else they will do for me.

I feel to just tell them to stick their Clomid, if it was going to work, it would have worked by now.

I am so sorry for the rant.

 

[Helena_]

I'm right there with you! The normal ttc section is just too depressing for me now. I don't even recoginize anyone anymore! Everyone gets their bfps and I'm just stuck there. I recently moved into this section

 

[zanDark]

I venture in there once in a while...I usually stay away after I see people getting their BFPs in a month or two lol lucky them!!

I hope your appointment goes really well

 

[BearsMummy]

Thank you so much.

Appointment went better than expected.

She did say I need a holiday to relax, so I asked if they were paying for them on the nhs now?? That was a negative!!

They want to keep me on 50mg clomid for another 4 months, as my 7dpo blood test result showed good progesterone levels, which means good eggs as well apparently. So it all seems to be working.

She did mention that because I am too tense, my fallopian tubes could be going into spasm during BD which then causes problems, I asked her if she was fobbing me off, but she said no, it is a possiblility.

But if I don't conceive within the 4 months, she will be referring me to Oxford Fertility Unit, I just hope the PCT will fund any treatment. I was concerened that they would say I'm not entitled to any other help because I already had a child (by a previous partner) but when she asked if oh had any children, and I said no, thats when she said she would refer me to them. It doesn't mean they will fund the treatment though.

But maybe I can relax a little knowing I WILL be getting some assistance, so that might help.

 

[Skoer1360]

Sorry you had to come over and feel like you need to stay, ltttc sucks.. I NEVER go into the normal ttc boards anymore, it's just plain annoying for me lol '2dpo can I get a positive??' 'Boobs tender, I'm preg, right??' and the dreaded bfp announcement that someone invariably posts without 'realizing it'

I'm glad your appt went well though! and that they are referring you even though you have a child Never heard of your fallopian tubes spasming though but hey, I learn new stuff about ttc every day

 

[PrincessTaz]

Aww big

I stay here most of the time now and I haven't even been on BnB that long.

I am so so so pleased your appointment went well today. I really want us to be bump buddies very soon, we've both been waiting long enough now!
xxx

 

[tonibzac]

Ive moved in here recently as got so disheartened at being 'left behind' I've even left my TTc journal and started a fresh, new sparkly LTTTC one life goes on!

 

[cooch]

Wow, I've never heard of the tubes spasming when BD. Suppose there's always the possibility

 

[Lisa92881]

Yeah, it's a harsh realization when you figure out that you belong in this section isn't it?? We're here for you!!

I just almost had a mini flip out on another thread when a new poster said her cycles were "really irregular, between 24-27 days"...I was able to control myself and made some joking comment when really I was thinking, "Are you f---ing kidding me, I've just come off a 47 day and a 123 day cycle, don't talk to ME about irregular". Sigh. How bitter this journey is making me.

 

[bexxc]

just reading through this thread made me feel better. i get so annoyed at the things that the ladies in the regular ttc boards get all freaked out about...thanks...i needed that!

 

[cooch]

I suppose we could say everyone experiences it at different levels. For some 4 months and other four years. We all assume ours is the worst case. Someone I know has been told very recently that there she will never carry and conceive a child. So this has made me readdress my situation. Yes I'm finding it very difficult to conceive with one blocked tube but inside all things are normal shape and size and I should be able to carry a baby. What I still have is hope, even though there are down days, I still have hope. x

 

[BearsMummy]

There have been a couple of threads over there recently that have made my blood boil, especially the ones where they have been TTC for 3 cycles and they are kicking up a stink saying it will never happen because they have been trying for aaaaaaaaaaagggges!!!! God, I feel to say, try 10 years love!!!

Another one who really got me, but I htink she just worded it worng was 'I have never got pregnant, I haven't even had a miscarriage'....................... I BEG YOUR PARDON????!!!!

Thank you all so much for he support and welcome. I am defo staying here from now on!!

 

[wannabemummyb]

Welcome over here! I only made the move in the last couple of months, felt in limbo because i did not fit in in ttc but did not want to ofend anyone over here in ltttc because i felt i hadn't been trying long enough for here! In the end i decided i either leave the forum on move over!

Sometimes i pop back because i like to read posts of those just starting out and their excitement and energy!