Hi ladies,
I feel like such an idiot but I had to bail from work last night. Some of you will know I work p/t in a restaurant, just a wee place (so nowhere to hide), alone (the other staff are downsatirs in the kitchen and shop/cafe).
I've been dreading the day someone comes in who saw me before and says "Oh have you had your baby?"
So it finally happened last night - it was a guy, who had been really nice before and I managed to hold it together when I told him that yes, unfortunately I'd had twins and they came too early to survive. He said "Oh sorry to hear that" Good start. I wish he'd left it there, but you know what's coming, don't you? Yip, he added "never mind, you can have another."
Well, I managed to hold it together somehow to finish fixing his drinks and get out the back door before I lost it. I had to go downstairs to get a tissue which meant running through the kitchen so my co-workers all saw me making a prat of myself. The chef is really nice and sent one of the other girls upstairs to take over. I got myself together to go back up but she offered to do the rest of my shift as downstairs was shutting up anyway, so I let her. I felt really bad doing that but I just couldn't handle serving that guy again.
If I was anywhere else I would point out how offensive that was to say, so he doesn't ever say it to someone else, but I can't do that at work. I hate working there, I want to leave but can't afford to and am not in a space to look for new work, do interviews etc. It's ridiculous, I'm a qualified jeweller and I'm waitressing but it fitted in with our lives and school etc. I have to do my next shift on Sunday night, I'm dreading it now more than ever.
It's something I'll need to get used to, how have you all managed it? I realised that it was the first time I'd had to explain it to someone who didn't already know, except for my family, friends and boss when it first happened. Every one else I've spoken to about it already knows so it's digfferent. I was quite proud of how well I handled it until he said that.
Being in a restaurant as well, I was kinda minimalising it to make him more comfortable and that makes me feel awful, like I'm playing down the boys' importance to us to keep others happy. it feels so wrong but I can't lay it on thick to customers, they'd never come back.
Oh God, what am I going to do? Is anyone else working in the public and have you any tips?
xxx
I feel like such an idiot but I had to bail from work last night. Some of you will know I work p/t in a restaurant, just a wee place (so nowhere to hide), alone (the other staff are downsatirs in the kitchen and shop/cafe).
I've been dreading the day someone comes in who saw me before and says "Oh have you had your baby?"
So it finally happened last night - it was a guy, who had been really nice before and I managed to hold it together when I told him that yes, unfortunately I'd had twins and they came too early to survive. He said "Oh sorry to hear that" Good start. I wish he'd left it there, but you know what's coming, don't you? Yip, he added "never mind, you can have another."
Well, I managed to hold it together somehow to finish fixing his drinks and get out the back door before I lost it. I had to go downstairs to get a tissue which meant running through the kitchen so my co-workers all saw me making a prat of myself. The chef is really nice and sent one of the other girls upstairs to take over. I got myself together to go back up but she offered to do the rest of my shift as downstairs was shutting up anyway, so I let her. I felt really bad doing that but I just couldn't handle serving that guy again.
If I was anywhere else I would point out how offensive that was to say, so he doesn't ever say it to someone else, but I can't do that at work. I hate working there, I want to leave but can't afford to and am not in a space to look for new work, do interviews etc. It's ridiculous, I'm a qualified jeweller and I'm waitressing but it fitted in with our lives and school etc. I have to do my next shift on Sunday night, I'm dreading it now more than ever.
It's something I'll need to get used to, how have you all managed it? I realised that it was the first time I'd had to explain it to someone who didn't already know, except for my family, friends and boss when it first happened. Every one else I've spoken to about it already knows so it's digfferent. I was quite proud of how well I handled it until he said that.
Being in a restaurant as well, I was kinda minimalising it to make him more comfortable and that makes me feel awful, like I'm playing down the boys' importance to us to keep others happy. it feels so wrong but I can't lay it on thick to customers, they'd never come back.
Oh God, what am I going to do? Is anyone else working in the public and have you any tips?
xxx
So I couldnt give you any advice but to stay strong girl 
I actually quit my job to take more college classes but the timing was perfect, I needed to get out of there... I have been going to college part time, just a few classes here and there and working full time but last month we made the decision to get me out of there.... It has helped tremendously!!! It was pretty much everyday I would have to run to the bathroom while I fell apart all over again by someones comment, by seeing a preg lady or a baby! That was the worst.. then once I was a teeny bit better about seeing babies and preg ladies my co-workers , trying to help me, bless them, was making it worse, cuz as soon as a patient would walk in with a baby, everyone's eye's about popped out of their heads and ran to find me to hide me away to save me from the pain...but that got out of control... I felt like a 3 ring circus ....
but just wish these thoughts and feelings would just leave me alone...
