I think I belong in here now :(

[blinkybaby]

You can read my story here:

https://www.babyandbump.com/girly-sanctuary/582520-end-line.html

I've been living on my own with LO since he was born and FOB has literally done nothing anyway, so I've been living the life of a single parent, it's just that now I actually am it feels so strange and lonely? Even though I was lonely before IYSWIM!?

FOB has just texted me asking if he could have LO tomorrow afternoon and I've said of course he can. (This is literally the first time he's ever spent proper time with LO since he was born, before he would just drop in and out for 5 minutes here and there and make LO smile a couple of times then leave).

I feel so weak! Whenever I talk to other people about my situation I feel strong and like I'm doing the right thing by leaving him, but when he's here he makes me feel like I'm a complete bitch for doing this!

And then to top it all off, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow - I haven't spent more than an hour away from LO since he was born and I'm going to worry and miss him!

How do you single mummies manage? I'm terrified and it's only been a few days!

xx

 

[anna matronic]

Silly question but what are you finding tough? Cos I have been on my own with Evan forever its the norm to me. If you could post any specific things then I can tell you what I do to cope

Oh and to deal with the lonliness I spend time on here and ring people lots, especially my mum

 

[blinkybaby]

I guess I'm finding it difficult to actually come to terms with the fact that I'm facing a life on my own with LO without his dad there. FOB has treated me very badly at times but I'm looking back at the good times stupidly wondering if I'm doing the right thing when I KNOW I am!

And I'm upset thinking about visitations etc for LO - I never thought I would be so worried about being away from him. xxx

 

[anna matronic]

Ok, well to be honest I haven't had to deal with that cos Evan's dad doesn't want to see him, although I get anxious when i think about him maybe wanting to one day.

It is going to be hard to adjust to your new situation and at the moment you are vulnerable, so you need to be strong for you and lo Do you have family or friends who u can call when you are having a crappy/weak moment? Im always on the phone to my mum

As for visitation can u start of slowly or with you kind of there until you feel comfortable with it?