I think I give up....

[JViti]

I have been TTCing for 18 months now. I am on my second clomid cycle, and my second round of clomid this cycle. My follies arent growing good, nothings happening the way it should, and Im feeling sooooo discouraged. I had NO trouble with my first, but for some reason, this one is proving difficult.

My DH isnt ready to give up. He wants to try a few more rounds, and I do too, but at the same time, I am so tired of being disappointed, and hurt by AF coming every month when its not wanted!

I feel so envious of people who are currently pregnant, and its making me depressed. Its really making me mad when I see people complaining about how they dont want a baby right now, or its a bad time, or just breed more kids than anyone can count, and cant take care of them. Its really making me hate society. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I just dont know how much more I can take of this. Every month when I get my AF, I feel like I lost my baby. I keep dreaming and imagining a baby and what that baby will look like, and every month, I get disappointed by AF and I lose my dream baby. He/She may not have been real, but they were real to me.

Thanks for listening/reading my rant, I cant say I feel better now, but it feels good to get it out!!!!

 

[louimum]

hey hun u sound exactlylike me its just heartbreaking isnt. dont want to bore people and repeat myswlf so.please read my post from today. im late for af on 5thclomid cycle. i know the witch is on her way. so down at the min. whats your reason for infertility? good luck xxxx please excuse all the typos on my phone ;-)

 

[Mikihob]

Hi JViti.
I know exactly how you feel. I have told my DH several times that I want to give up, put him back on his testosterone and go one with life never having a baby of our own. He says that we have come this far, why give up now??

It is hard. I have PCOS and don't ovulate regular AT ALL. I probably couldn't to save my life. He has secondary infertility. He has two bio daughters and we can't understand why his SA's come back with zero. We want a baby so bad, but we try to not talk about it because we both get depressed.

It's hard TTC, especially for a long time. I hate seeing people pregnant and mad about it, or not happy, or complaining all the time. I would rather have the worst pregnancy in the world and be able to hold that baby in my arms than not get pregnant at all.

Some days, it's harder to find the urge to go on and try, try again. I used Clomid for six months, only ovulated two times before finding out about DH. Devastated, sad, concerned, worried, heart broken, impatient, nervous, hopeful, do these sound familiar.

I hope that you get your BFP soon. Have you gone to a fertility doctor, OB/GYN or anything??

 

[plpixie]

I have been TTCing for 18 months now. I am on my second clomid cycle, and my second round of clomid this cycle. My follies arent growing good, nothings happening the way it should, and Im feeling sooooo discouraged. I had NO trouble with my first, but for some reason, this one is proving difficult.

My DH isnt ready to give up. He wants to try a few more rounds, and I do too, but at the same time, I am so tired of being disappointed, and hurt by AF coming every month when its not wanted!

I feel so envious of people who are currently pregnant, and its making me depressed. Its really making me mad when I see people complaining about how they dont want a baby right now, or its a bad time, or just breed more kids than anyone can count, and cant take care of them. Its really making me hate society. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I just dont know how much more I can take of this. Every month when I get my AF, I feel like I lost my baby. I keep dreaming and imagining a baby and what that baby will look like, and every month, I get disappointed by AF and I lose my dream baby. He/She may not have been real, but they were real to me.

Thanks for listening/reading my rant, I cant say I feel better now, but it feels good to get it out!!!!

Hey! Maybe it is time for a "break".... time to unschedule BD and either abstain, or have crazy wild mockey love for the fun and satisfaction with your partner!

DH and I have been trying for the last 3 years (with many angels along the way ).... we decided to "stop" in January.... that lead to a HUGE fight... which ended up being a wonderful fight.... have I lost you yet? LOL

We both realised we were frustereated and sad and tired for many of the same and many different reasons. It got us back to being on the same page.

No I realise it hasn't given us a baby, but it has made our relationship better.

All in all, this is just one lady's two cents.

& & for fun!

 

[nlk]

I just wanted to stop by and give you some big hugs

It's really tough, ttc, especially when everyone around you seems to be getting pregnant. I feel exactly the same sometimes. It's even tougher when I come on here to get away from it happening in real life, to find that everyone else is getting pregnant as well. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely over the moon for each and every woman on here, and I know that they have gone through equally tough journeys to get pregnant, but I can't help but hurt sometimes.

Although it's tough to see right now, I think that maybe a bit of a break is something you might need. Me and OH took a few months break from everything ttc related, and I can honestly say it did the world of good. It was nice to be able to focus on different things for a while. Of course it was a painful decision to make, but by far the best one I ever made. It gave us time to think about work, and each other...something we haven't done in a long time. And now, we seem to be at a place where we have the energy and drive to get going again. Fertility treatments nearly tore us apart, and if we had carried on just ploughing ahead, I think it might have done.

Even if you aren't ready to take a break, try and take up activities which help you relax. I started swimming early a few mornings a week, and it's so nice to have that time of peace and quiet, where you can really clear your head. Also, acupuncture is good for relaxing! It can also be tailored to help with fertility. I absolutely love it.

Sorry for the long post. Just know that you're not alone. If you ever want someone to rant with, just PM me

 

[popchick75]

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this

What kind of testing has your RE done so far? Can they try you on Femara instead of Clomid? If you are Clomid resistant or having a bad response, Femara has a pretty high success rate!