I think I've got depression but I don't want to admit it to anyone...

[hawalkden]

just what it says in the title..

I always feel down about myself. I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant and it's been like this the feeling for years.

When I was in school, I felt useless but got on with it mainly in primary school I wouldn't ask for help and just cry quietly until the teacher saw me. I was to scared and still am to ask for help when it comes to doing things for myself.

Through secondary and college wasn't a big issue I just though it's life and though whatever grades I get or level of course I was on it was meant to be.

Some sets of classes in secondary school I felt like I was thick..

Since getting with my lovely, caring and understanding OH he's listened to a lot of my problems and tries to help. He says to speak to family and my GP but I'm scared.

I was sexually touched when I was 7 off my mums friends brother and until I was 14/15 I didn't think about it. I was scared of men after the event though but noone thought anything of it they just thought because I was shy.
When I was 14/15 time I started my period and sex education was being spoke about it hit me and the memories came back.

I didn't tell OH till about a year into our relationship after I pushed him off me when having sex.. He's been supportive since and I think I've got over it a little. I don't think about it as much as I use to do but then thinking about myself and confidence came into place then.

I always think i'm not good enough for people. Or I cant do things right. Eg cooking for OH I feel like its not cooked or something. I feel like im ugly and unattractive and OH can do WAYYYY better then me holding me back. The feelings I had before pregnancy havent changed, they havent got bigger or smaller..

what can I do?

 

[lb]

I don't know how your healthcare system works there, but you sound like you need to see a dr, asap. It will only get worse after baby gets here because of all the stress. Trust me, I know from experience.

 

[hawalkden]

I'll try and get the confidence from somewhere inside of me to get myself sorted.. like this morning I'm feeling great want to do everything etc :\

 

[topsy]

Hi Hun,

Sorry for what you have been through, and how you are feeling now. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for a long while, and although was hard to go to my GP first, they will try and do whatever they can to help you, be it counselling, cbt or tablets ( I have had all 3) and I am sure there are other ways they can help too. Your OH sound supportive, could he go with you to the GP? I know its a big step to take my sweets.

Take care of yourself.
xx
xx

 

[Groovychick]

It sounds as though you could be depressed, but I think the best thing you can do is visit your G.P. They will assess you properly and determine what the most appropriate course of action is. Best of luck.

 

[Chris77]

I'd try to see a therapist hun or GP. It does sound like depression to me. Like Groovychick said, this way you get can properly assessed. You have nothing to be ashamed of hun. I've suffered from depression since I was 12 years old and was even hospitalized for it. I hate to sound like a commercial, but the only shame in having depression is doing nothing about it.

I'm here if you need to talk.