I want to be here, but I can't.

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by MissyBee, Jun 3, 2011.

  1. MissyBee

    MissyBee Well-Known Member

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  2. hellypops

    hellypops Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry for your loss and now that you are having to go through this :hugs:
    I don't think you are being selfish at all,after a loss the need to become a mother can be overpowering for alot of people and is perfectly natural. I didn't think i wanted more children until i lost my babies and now its all i can think of.

    Your OH's reasons for wanting to wait seem sensible although i can't imagine how hard it must be for you to accept that. I hope you have talked to him and told him how you feel as he needs to understand completely so you are both on the same page. and waiting 10 years seems like forever.

    I wish i could offer you advice but there is nothing i can say.sending you lots of hugs. :hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  3. pinkflamingo

    pinkflamingo Mummy to an angel x

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    I am so sorry for your loss. We went through a miscarriage a few months ago and this was after we had been trying to conceive for 14 months. We were devastated. Now we are back ttc and I am putting a huge amount of pressure on myself as I want to be pregnant again.
    I understand that this has opened a whole can of emotions that you had not thought about before, and now you have a need to fill that gap that has emerged through your loss. What I would say is that your OH needs to be on board aswell and if he is not ready to make that decision now then it's only fair that you accept that for the time being.
    You need to give yourself some time to deal with your loss hun, it has only just happened. maybe your OH is reluctant to think about babies now as he is hurting too and doesn't want to think about going through anything like this again. men react differently and will usually avoid something if there is a risk of this pain again. Give yourself a bit of time and then try talking to him about it when you both feel strong enough.

    xx
     

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