I want to scream!!!!

[Allym0101]

Hi Ladies

Apologies in advance for the rant / bad language.

To put it mildly I am really f*ck*d off this month.
I have lost all hope of ever falling pregnant again. It has been 8 months since our last loss. It has never taken this long and I am beginning to wonder if perhaps my previous pregnancies have messed up my body and left me unable to conceive

It doesn't help how I'm feeling when EVERY SINGLE TIME I pick up a magazine or a newspaper there's a new celebrity announcing their 'happy news'.
The girl who lives opposite me is about to give birth any day now and I constantly see her waddling about patting her bump.
But the worst of all is.... My best friend is due her 3rd baby in October and has asked me to be her birthing partner
She told me she was pregnant 2 months after my miscarriage and I consolled myself by telling myself that I would be pregnant again before her baby was due. She is my best friend and I really want to be there for her, but I don't think my heart could deal with it. I think it would literally break if I was to watch her give birth and hold her baby in her arms.

Do any of you wonderful girls have any tips on how not to get upset over pregnant friends / family members / celebrities / random women on the street, because every time I see them my heart breaks a little more.

I have also noticed that recently this has put a strain on the perfect relationship I used to have with my fiance. We seem to bicker a lot more now especially when I've just heard someone else is pregnant or so and so has given birth. We don't have sex as much, as I'm often feeling blue and obviously this doesn't help with trying to get pregnant

Girls - I'm sorry that I've written so much and I know that everyone on here has their own problems without having to listen to me, but I really needed to let it out.

Thanks for reading, and lots of to you all.
xoxoxo

 

[sherlock]

Big

I don't have any tips on how to get over pregnant women, as I've been exactly the same as you. One of my friends announced she was pregnant about 4 weeks after my mmc - my mobile got thrown across the room into a wall and I had a total hysterical breakdown. I don't see her often as we live so far apart, but we were very near her a month after she announced her pregnancy, and I didn't even contact her. I just couldn't. I also went to a hen do and there was a girl there I don't even get on with, with her baby bump, and I ran off to the toilets and sobbed in there.

Even walking through town at lunch I feel myself digging my nails into my clenched hands and walking stupidly fast, because I get so upset when I see pregnant people. Babies don't seem to affect me in the same way - I guess because I never had one. But the pregnant people I see could have been me.

I don't think it gets any easier (or it didn't for me) so don't push yourself to 'get over it'.

Try and make time to spend with hubby - can you go away? We have been on 2 holidays since my mmc, and it was the best thing we could have done. Both times I totally relaxed and let go of my stress, and we had a fantastic time with each other. Both times I ovulated as well - which with my irregular cycles, is pretty spooky! I also got BFPs both times (although one ended with a chemical and I am praying this one doesn't go the same way). If you can't go away, how about taking a few days off work with each other and having a 'staycation' .

I hope you feel better soon and that you get your longed for bean soon as well .

x

 

[LucyJ]

I am so sorry for your losses wanted to send you a massive

I know exactly how you feel my sister in law is pregnant with her second baby and is due three days after what would of been my due date the thought of seeing her fills me with dread I've managed to avoid her so far but know I'm going to have to deal with it eventually. My brother keeps asking me when I'm going to go down and see them I dont think he understands how hard it is for me.

I'm better dealing with random women on the street who are pregnant but it still brakes my heart but I dont burst into tears at the sight of them anymore. I'm ok with my friends children all though none have tiny babies so dont know how I would feel if they did.

I feel that my relationship with my hubby is stronger since lossing the baby and he understands how I feel so lets me cry if I need to. Could you talk to your hubby about how you feel? Maybe get away together or maybe talk to a councilor as it may help just to talk about how you feel.

 

[Allym0101]

Thank you for replying Sherlock. I knew you girls would understand how I'm feeling. You're always a great support.

With regards to the going away with hubby - we are going abroad over christmas, but can't get away before then as I just started a new job and don't want to ask for time off just yet.
He is out at football at the minute, but when he comes home I am going to suggest that we have a romantic weekend. Maybe close the curtains, switch off the tv, mobiles and laptops and spend some quality time together.

Also Sherlock, please know that I will be hoping and praying for a sticky bean this time for you. I know how much you want this and how long you've been waiting.
The only time I don't get upset is when I hear BFP announcements in the TTC after a loss section. Most of us girls are in the same boat and I am always delighted to hear good news on here.

Thanks again hun xoxo

 

[truly_blessed]

no tips either hun, it's hard but I think you're among good company here wo understand what you're going though.

 

[Allym0101]

Hi Lucy.
It must be so difficult for you, seeing as its a pregnancy in the family. for you too
darling.

I was the same in that, after the miscarriages my hubby was so so supportive and I couldn't have got through it without him. It just seems now that he has dealt with it and moved on, he's looking to the future but I'm still stuck in 'what should have been'. He can't seem to understand how hard I'm finding it to move on, he seems to think that I should be looking to the future as well. I can't seem to do that yet and I also feel like I don't want to let go. I think you're right about the councilling and it is definitely something I am going to look into.

I hope you get that BFP soon

Lots of love and hugs xoxo

 

[Allym0101]

You're right truly_blessed, the girls on here are great and I always get lots of support and comfort from their words xoxo