I want to try a natural birth but I'm starting to get scared...

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by MyFavSurprise, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. MyFavSurprise

    MyFavSurprise Well-Known Member

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    This is my first and I have NO idea what it feels like. I know my pain tolerance is pretty strong, and knowing there is a purpose for the pain makes it easier for me to cope too.. Everyone around me says I'm crazy for it, I mean, I fully understand that it's going to hurt. I want the experience.

    I toured a birth center the other day, my insurance covers it and everything. The hospital is 5 minutes away too. They have NO pain medication there at all, nothing. They offer water birth which is what I really want to do, it's a nice place and everything, I just don't know what to do now. They said 12%-13% of women there decide that they can't do it anymore and they take them to the hospital, so I'm not limited if I go there and I really cant do it.

    I'm not saying I can do it because I have no clue, I've been told to take the worst pain I've ever felt and triple it. In my life I have learned to take pain and make it into something positive. I know it's nothing compared to a birth, but I have a tattoo and I loved getting that done, it didn't hurt at all I thought it felt good..I have 3 tongue piercings, my bellybutton is pierced, and my private area too :).. The only one I screamed for was my coochie area and it was brief and the scream was mostly just to cope with it. I deal better with long lasting throbbing pain rather than horribly sudden pain. I used to be a self mutilator too.. None of that was painful to me.

    The worst pain I've ever felt was when I dealt with Erythema Nodosum. It swelled up my whole right leg and pressed on all of my nerves. I couldn't walk on it and it was extremely painful to move it. I never cried except out of frustration with it. It lasted for days. I have no idea if it's anywhere comparable to labor, but to triple that pain would really test my threshold.. I think I could do it.

    I'm just so stuck, I have NO idea what to do! I want this experience, I plan on screaming and I understand it's going to be horrible, I guess I'm just scared because everyone says I'm crazy for it and I have no idea what I'm walking into.
     
  2. theresarhuebb

    theresarhuebb x mother of 3 x

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    well you see everyones birth experience is different, my 1st one was great i coped well. my 2nd was agonising and ended up with emergency c section and well this is my 3rd im a little more scared but put it this way if i wanted more kids the pain isnt putting me off just thought of loads of kids haha. you sound like your strong. you never know what you want till the time comes x
     
  3. Lea8198

    Lea8198 Well-Known Member

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    Well done for thinking it through so well.

    I am the worlds biggest wuss....seriously. I was drugged up to the eyes with my first born and i never felt much at all but it was not a pleasant birth as i did not bond too well at first as i was out of it. With my daughter i went natural all the way. 13 hours of strong contractions every few minutes. Wow, it was tough but i did it. I had a little gas and air but that did nothing for me at all. I am glad i did it naturally and I will be trying to do it naturally again if i can.

    The pain is bad but it's a weird type of pain. A purposeful one and that helpes. When the time comes your body goes into natural over drive and just does what it's supposed to and for some reason, you cope. It's definitely doable :)

    You can do it....and this is from a big wuss!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-)
     
  4. Kitten

    Kitten Mummy to Theakston & Nyah

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    I think you need to have more faith in yourself, tell yourself you CAN do it! I had a home birth with my first and my gas and air wasn't turned on so I thought I was having it whilst in the bath. I got to 8cm after about 12hours and said I couldn't cope with just gas and air anymore and could we think about transferring, then they realised it wasn't on and I did fine once I got it! They don't let you use it during the pushing stage anyway so that didn't really make a difference. I don't think I could have continued without the gas and air but I had back labour and people tell me that's meant to be worse.

    So many things can have an impact, anything could happen, baby could be breech, baby could come early, you could go late and need an induction, try not to stress about it and just see how it goes.
     
  5. BlessedTwice

    BlessedTwice Had my baby girl April 20

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    I think that makes you a very strong woman to be able to do it naturally! When I had about 10 contractions I couldn't take it no more, I was like hurry up with that epidural!! I think it's great, and yes it will be painful, worse than all you listed above, but totally worth it :D
     
  6. Crazy4Emily

    Crazy4Emily Mom to Emily & Expecting!

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    I can't make up my mind either, but a lot of people have recommended HypnoBabies to me. It's supposed to help you get your mind around the pain. Since you seem to be really thinking about it, mabye you should check it out too.
     
  7. miss cakes

    miss cakes Well-Known Member

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    dont listen to anyone else do whats right for you if you want a naturel birth then plan for just that as long as you dont beat yourself up about it if you do change your mind and want some pain relief during labour its nothing to be ashamed of so go for the naturel birth and just be a little flexible mentally as you never know whats gonna happen every labour and birth is differant good luck! x
     
  8. lindseymw

    lindseymw Mother of two boys

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    Unfortunately, you wont know what the pain will be like until you through it.

    Both me & my friend were pregnant at the same. I was all for every drug known to man, but in her words "yes well I have a higher pain threshold than you so I wont need as much as you!" This did piss me off, as I thought how in gods name would she know???

    It turned out that, I was a lot more capable of dealing with pain than I thought I would be! My tattoo seemed to be more painful! Pity they didnt offer gas & air for that!

    My friend, on the otherhand, ended up with every pain relief going! Sorry to sound bitchy but Haha.

    The way I saw contractions (which I think helped with coping with the pain) was everytime I had one, it was one less towards meeting my baby.
     
  9. katratrina

    katratrina Mum of 3, and Pregnant!

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    I agree with what everyone else is saying, you need to do whats right for you and not listen to other people. With my 1st i went 9 hours without pain relief and then gave in, i was disappointed but in the end he came out healthy, and i was happy (30 hour labor).
    with #2 and #3 i only had gas and air, but the labors with them were much shorter (4 hours) i know for a fact i would of gave in if i had a long labor again!

    I just go with the flow, if i decide i want pain relief then i have it, but usually by the time i want it its time to push lol so too late.

    It does hurt like hell, but after that last push that pain just disappears. I have a very low pain tolerance, i try to look at it like its good pain, and my partner really helps me get through it, i wouldn't be able to do it without him!
     
  10. NicolleM.T.B.

    NicolleM.T.B. Mummy to Ava <3

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    I think you should just remain positive!! I want a natural birth too and everyone says that too me too. Just keep an open mind and good luck i hope your birth goes the way you want it too :D
     
  11. meg79

    meg79 Well-Known Member

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    Pop over to the home & natural birthing forum - loads of advice, help and encouragement!!

    I've made the decision to have a natural, home waterbirth and it's my first!! xx
     
  12. Geek

    Geek Well-Known Member

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    I know exactly what you mean, I've always said I want to try a natural birth (also in water) after all that's what our bodies are designed to do and women have done it for centuries without epidurals or other pain meds.

    I think as long as you are mentally prepared, know what to expect (as much as you can without having done it before) and have a positive mind about the experience then you are a lot more likely to not need pain relief. If you do need it though there is nothing to be ashamed of, you will have done the best you can and sometimes the situation is taken out of your control.

    I think as long as you're comfortable and happy giving birth at the birth centre then I think you should go for it, if the hospital is only five minutes away then you know you will be able to get pain relief quickly should you need it.

    Whats worrying me the most is how negative everyone is when I tell them I want a natural birth, they've all said I'm crazy and that I'm never going to be able to do it. I want this to be a positive experience and as far as i'm concerned there is no reason why it can't be. Yes it's going to hurt but you're expecting it too :)

    I read something earlier about this (I think it was on a hypnobirthing site) and it said that fear makes your body release adrenalin which counteracts the endorphins that are your bodies natural pain relief. Which makes me think even more that a positive mind about the birth is important :)

    I wish you all the look with it :)
     
  13. Ember

    Ember Pregnant - 3rd Trimester

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    I am a bit scared of it, but I intend to do a natural birth, too. You are lucky that you have the option of water birth. There is nowhere in my area that has it available. I just talked to my best friend who told me that when her daughter came too fast for her to have an epidural, she was scared and she cried the whole time, but she did really well. She said that it's really more about the pressure. She said all she felt was just a horrible pressure like she had to poop really bad, and as soon as she pushed her shoulders out, she felt a huge relief and didn't have any pain.

    I think you will do fine. I think Geek is right, it depends a lot on your state of mind. I think if we stay positive about it, it won't be so bad.
     
  14. lisaf

    lisaf Super tired new mom

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    I think expectations are a big part of it... one friend of mine went in with total faith that this was what her body was designed to do and she went naturally just fine. My other friend knew she wanted an epidural and was screaming for one from the beginning, lol.

    I think you have to keep an open mind because you don't know what it will be like.. I've also heard it becomes a lot more painful once the waters break.. most women I know who went all natural didn't have theirs break until close to the end. One woman I know who ended up getting an epidural had her waters break at 3cm and she was so tense it was stalling labor she did not progress past 3cm... after the epidural she delivered within an hour.

    I have the same worries and fears as you, most people have not been negative, just told me that its incredible and wish me luck, wish they could have etc. One or two have commented on how I handled pain the past but that bothers me because I agree about pain with a purpose etc.

    What I chose to do which has helped relieve my anxiety about it, is to hire a doula. I want someone experienced to go through my plan with me and help me achieve it... suggest pain relief positions, help keep labor moving so even if it sucks, at least it won't last as long etc. Their success rate is amazing and I know if I have a doula and get an epidural that at least I did everything I could, you know?
    I thought they'd be super expensive but they seem to mostly be in the $500-700 range... that gives you 2 prenatal visits... full support for your whole labor and 2 postpartum visits with lacation help if you need/want it. They are also great connections to other resources (I'm going to have mine help me find nursing bras in my size since I'm having trouble etc).
     
  15. JShaw

    JShaw Well-Known Member

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    I've actually heard from many ladies on here mention the doctors or midwives tell them to stop screaming as it wastes the much needed energy for pushing.

    I normally have a high threashhold for pain, but I'm pretty scared about going natural, though I still want to try for as long as possible.

    I think some of the other ladies are right about getting yourself into the right frame of mind. I may check out the hypnobirthing they mentioned.

    Good luck with your birth, I hope you're able to do it the way you want!!!
     
  16. ermm23a

    ermm23a Well-Known Member

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    I think you should do whatever your comfortable with. Personally, I want as much pain medicine as they will give me, but that's just me.

    If you want to go natural, then go for it. Women have been having babies naturally since the beginning of time. It's what our bodies are made for. You can totally do it if it's what you want.

    Would it make you feel better if you had some sort of pain relief available to you as a back up plan? Like let the natural be your plan A, but if it gets to be too much have a plan B readily available? Might help ease your anxiety about the birth if you know you have an out if it gets too bad.

    Good luck to you!
     
  17. lisaf

    lisaf Super tired new mom

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    I think its scarier for us girls in the US since gas and air aren't available, lol!
    At least it feels that way to me! :haha:
     
  18. Ember

    Ember Pregnant - 3rd Trimester

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    I wonder why they give gas and air to everyone in the UK.... and why they don't offer it to everyone here...
     
  19. lisaf

    lisaf Super tired new mom

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    it has something to do with a possible risk to the midwives/nurses in the room... that prolonged exposure to it could make them more prone to miscarriage or something like that.
    I know they have it in Canada but have a complex system to limit the amount that ends up in the air in the room. I don't know if they do something similar in the UK or not.
     
  20. ermm23a

    ermm23a Well-Known Member

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    I think it's the same stuff that we use in some dentist offices over here in the US. (nitrous oxide). So I don't know why they don't offer it to women during birth over here. Insurance companies probably get paid a lot more for epidurals. I bet the gas is a lot cheaper. Since most births are paid for via private insurance over here, I bet that's why.
     

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