I wish someone had told me.... ?

[brandonsgirl]

Hey lovely ladies!

I'm jemma, a mummy to 2 littles with one due in a few weeks! I'm also a parenting, lifestyle and beauty blogger.

I'm curious, what do you wish you had known when becoming a mummy? Was there something that you googled or looked for advice on? Is there anything you wish you had help with but didn't?

For me, I wish someone would have told me that it's normal to feel lonely. Especially in the middle of the night when you feel like you're the only one awake with your baby!

I'd love to know your thoughts

Jemma x

 

[Babybump87]

Hey !

I’m mummy to two little girls !! Hoping to add to our family soon !

Wow that’s a good one wish I would have been told that too .

I wish someone would have told me it’s ok to feel overwhelmed and Postnatel Anxiety / Depression won’t mean social services will be at your door !

Good luck with your pregnancy and labour ! X

 

[blake12336]

That intrusive thoughts are normal and like PP said that speaking out won't mean social services. I've had none with my second, but thoughts such as snapping my babies arm (awful I know and I'd never actually do it!) or dropping him down the stairs regularly entered my mind with my first, making me feel like a monster. Looking back now I can see I suffered post natal depression with my first and am having a completely different experience second time round!

 

[bbbbbbb811]

I wish someone told me that safe co sleeping was a thing. I was doing safe co sleeping before I even read about it but everyone around me believed I was putting my baby at risk and I stopped

 

[madsmoo]

Hi Jemma, congratulations!!!
You must read the book: "I Wish Someone Had Told Me..." by Jennifer Hacker Pearson. It is THE best!!!! It has all the things in it that any new mum must know going into childbirth. I cannot recommend it enough. Actually I recommend it to anyone that is pregnant, it helped me soooooo much when I had my baby.
Search Jennifer Hacker Pearson in google. Good luck with it all, and happy reading

 

[krissie328]

I wish someone had told me to accept the help when other people offered. Nobody is superwoman and there is no reason to try to be.

 

[KatBar]

To be honest, I think there is a lot you just can’t appreciate until your baby is born and you’re in the thick of it.
I remember getting told this and that, and having so many expectations on what motherhood would be like. I knew about PND and baby blues, but didn’t expect to find myself having 8 hour panic attacks a week after DS1 was born, and then going into a mother and baby unit. I was prepared for it with my second (went on Zoloft almost straight away post partum), so it was nowhere near as bad.

Both my babies have been super different to each other..
My first was a terrible night sleeper, a pain in the arse to burp, had to wear a hip brace from 2 weeks old and was mad for the dummy. He also was a burp chucker.
My second had great hips, so no hip braced needed. Fantastic at night (currently sleeps a 7-8 hour block, if not longer, with no feeds). However, he has silent reflux which was a nightmare from weeks 4 through to just over 8. We have him on Losec, and now thickened feeds which is working great. He also gets very windy/colicky, so is on a natural mixture that releaves that. He is not a huge fan of the dummy. He never spits up whilst burping like my first, but will randomly do HUGE power chucks.

So I think what I’d like to have been told, is to surround yourself with other mums as much as you can, and lean on them for advice. Or just jump on forums like this for support if none of your mummy friends are experiencing what you are with your bub.
I definitely think the hardest thing is feeling like you’re the only one dealing with certain things, and it can make you feel alone. Although I wouldn’t wish silent reflux on anyone’s baby, it was really nice, after suffering for weeks, to speak with friends who were going through the same thing, or had gone through it before, with their bub.

 

[krissie328]

Katbar is so right! Before my first was born I was bombarded with advice from people and really it meant very little. As I had my "epiphanies" my mom or friends would be like yea we told you that. But I always took the hard way getting there.

Pnd is no joke! I had it with my son and didn't realize it for over a year for what it was. This time around I have it again and I'm at least aware of it and can manage it better.

I was unprepared this time for how different my babies would be. My first sounds like katbar's. Along with just being easy going all the time. My second again sounds like hers down to not taking the dummy and silent reflux. The experience has been different which I think led to a lot of anxiety as she does seem to cry for no reason and sometimes it can last up to two hours. But she already sleeps better so hopefully that keeps up and she sleeps through before ds did at 2.5 years.

 

[_Meep_]

That with the massive love comes a huge, huge packet of guilt about pretty much everything.

 

[CRWx]

Definitely ^

Mum guilt is EVERYWHERE

 

[LoraLoo]

I wish someone had told me how much of your identity you lose.
That was a shocker for me a tbose years ago

 

[Tanikins]

I wish someone had told me being premature didn't purely stop at being born early. I didn't realise all the other issues that went with it

 

[AP]

I wish someone had told me being premature didn't purely stop at being born early. I didn't realise all the other issues that went with it

Literally was going to say the same until i scrolled and saw this! And the conflicting advice on how to feed a premature baby.

 

[whatwillbex]

Oh yes ^^^ mummy is guilt is real! Hahaha does my head in.

Also don’t get caught up in comparing yourself to other mums. They may look like ducks swimming calmly on the water but underneath they are paddling like crazies just the same. They just have a better game face than you that’s all. Haha if that makes any sense. Oh and don’t stress over reading and following all these baby self help books to the t. Use them for a rough guide but follow your heart and Mother Nature and your kids will be just fine. Enjoy your babies and don’t stress over routines.
Before having children I didn’t realise I was going to learn a lot from my first as a mummy and a person. Xx

 

[AmyKai]

It's okay to ask for help.

Breastfeeding is HARD!!

You'll likely feel feelings of depression and anxiety and that doesn't mean you don't love your baby. It's normal.

 

[tommyg]

That babies including new borns cry when they are tired. Took me weeks of fretting about reflux and wind before I figured it out.

 

[CRWx]

I was thinking about this thread yesterday- I wish someone had told me how bloody heavy car seats are with a tiny little newborn in, are! naively I didn’t think it’d be that heavy, my arms bloody ACHED for the first few months, lol.

 

[whatwillbex]

^^^ this always surprises me too. I just assumed it was because I have huge heavy babies! I see women carrying them over their arm like a hand bag and I’m there practically dragging the thing, sweating with my poor baby bobbing around in it. I’m not even a weakling? Haha how do they do it??

 

[coraline2]

I wish someone had told me to accept the help when other people offered. Nobody is superwoman and there is no reason to try to be.

oh yes! There is this one point when you eventually get this!

 

[Bittersweet]

:wave: mummy to a little boy hopefully add to our family at some point!
I wish that someone told me that you will become so defensive over the littlest things when people are touching/holding your baby. Also that you will get immense pressure from people to care for your baby and it’s good and gone to say no! They always say they are doing me a favour.
You’re not. I want to be with my son all the time