ramblinhaggis
Call me Max - Mum to 4
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I am past worrying what people will think when i express concern that my eldest has adhd, i really feel at the end of my tether with her, so i would like some opinions. The reason i first ever considered it, was from having a close friend with a son with ADHD, whom told me that summer is very like her son, and also my sisters little boy. I am quite a strict parent, meals are meals, bed is bed etc, i dont take much nonsense at all with regard to the important things and my children have a very good diet.
Summer is 4 years 3 months and a bright girl. She walks on her tiptoes, has done since around 2 years of age. I was told it was habitual and she would grow out of it by the time she was 4. She now walks 99% of the time on them. She can walk flat, but only for very short periods of time, when you remind her.
The problems I am having with her, i find them hard to explain. She has constant meltdowns over very silly things. For example, the other morning she had a fit over her breakfast, because there wasnt 'space' in her bowl to put her spoon in. The day before she wouldnt eat her dinner, because she hadnt had sandwiches for her lunch (i had given homemade muffin pizzas for a change instead). She is very OCD like. Everything must be just so.
She does not listen, or make eye contact. I can tell her to stop doing something, turn back round and she is doing it again straight away. I then ask her what i just said, and she is blank. The blank vacant look is so familiar. Like she is anywhere but in her head listening to me. I try to crouch down to her level and ask her to look at me when talking, but more often than not she gets distressed and starts shouting, i cant!
In terms to meal times, she has to use both hands to eat a meal, one to hold a spoon, the other to push food onto the spoon. She is unable to manage anything requiring needing two hands, such as say, holding a yogurt and eating out of it with a spoon at the same time, more often than not she spills it or it lands on the floor. She is a very messy eater simply put.
She has no idea how to start conversations, every single day she asks me, what is your favorite colour mummy? And every day the answer is the same. Its like its part of her routine. She also has no clue about when its okay to speak, social cues as such, she just starts talking when and how she likes and more often than not its gibberish, hard to make sense of though she does talk well, its what she says.
She slept well as a baby, but as a child, she seems to be up most of the night, even though she doesnt sleep in the day and she says she is just not tired. She is then awake before 7am every day, no matter how much sleep she has.
She cannot sit still at all, something has to be moving and she has to make some sort of noise all the time. Finally she has to have the last word over everything, if she is introuble say and i tell her i dont want to hear it, shecant let it rest until she has got everything in her head out, either to elsie or to her toys.
Is this just how a four year old is? I have to admit, that bar my own child, i have no experience of kids. They do go to playgroups, they do socialise, but you are always told not to compare. I find it hard not to, now that my other daughter is 3, and whilst not as intelligent as summer, seems to be able to do everything else easier, with more understanding. My 3 year old can have proper conversations that you understand, have two handed coordination etc. I dont mean to compare, its just hard not to when i feel like there is something different about my 4 year old. I struggle to have much of a bond with my 4 year old
I make one on one time with her, but ihave to keep it VERY short as her attention span is so short.
Does anyone have any advise? She went to preschool for a short time last year before mason was born and starts fulltime in august. I asked them if they had noticed anything, she said that summer was a lovely child with a very WILD imagination. I watched her at preschool one morning and found she was very, demanding, of the play leaders. I heard one play leader say to the other, that summer has her 'own special routine'.
Summer is 4 years 3 months and a bright girl. She walks on her tiptoes, has done since around 2 years of age. I was told it was habitual and she would grow out of it by the time she was 4. She now walks 99% of the time on them. She can walk flat, but only for very short periods of time, when you remind her.
The problems I am having with her, i find them hard to explain. She has constant meltdowns over very silly things. For example, the other morning she had a fit over her breakfast, because there wasnt 'space' in her bowl to put her spoon in. The day before she wouldnt eat her dinner, because she hadnt had sandwiches for her lunch (i had given homemade muffin pizzas for a change instead). She is very OCD like. Everything must be just so.
She does not listen, or make eye contact. I can tell her to stop doing something, turn back round and she is doing it again straight away. I then ask her what i just said, and she is blank. The blank vacant look is so familiar. Like she is anywhere but in her head listening to me. I try to crouch down to her level and ask her to look at me when talking, but more often than not she gets distressed and starts shouting, i cant!
In terms to meal times, she has to use both hands to eat a meal, one to hold a spoon, the other to push food onto the spoon. She is unable to manage anything requiring needing two hands, such as say, holding a yogurt and eating out of it with a spoon at the same time, more often than not she spills it or it lands on the floor. She is a very messy eater simply put.
She has no idea how to start conversations, every single day she asks me, what is your favorite colour mummy? And every day the answer is the same. Its like its part of her routine. She also has no clue about when its okay to speak, social cues as such, she just starts talking when and how she likes and more often than not its gibberish, hard to make sense of though she does talk well, its what she says.
She slept well as a baby, but as a child, she seems to be up most of the night, even though she doesnt sleep in the day and she says she is just not tired. She is then awake before 7am every day, no matter how much sleep she has.
She cannot sit still at all, something has to be moving and she has to make some sort of noise all the time. Finally she has to have the last word over everything, if she is introuble say and i tell her i dont want to hear it, shecant let it rest until she has got everything in her head out, either to elsie or to her toys.
Is this just how a four year old is? I have to admit, that bar my own child, i have no experience of kids. They do go to playgroups, they do socialise, but you are always told not to compare. I find it hard not to, now that my other daughter is 3, and whilst not as intelligent as summer, seems to be able to do everything else easier, with more understanding. My 3 year old can have proper conversations that you understand, have two handed coordination etc. I dont mean to compare, its just hard not to when i feel like there is something different about my 4 year old. I struggle to have much of a bond with my 4 year old
I make one on one time with her, but ihave to keep it VERY short as her attention span is so short. Does anyone have any advise? She went to preschool for a short time last year before mason was born and starts fulltime in august. I asked them if they had noticed anything, she said that summer was a lovely child with a very WILD imagination. I watched her at preschool one morning and found she was very, demanding, of the play leaders. I heard one play leader say to the other, that summer has her 'own special routine'.
