If I die

[LoveMyBugg x]

how can I be sure my daughter goes to my parents.


As of right now fob isn't on birth certificate,


also hasn't helped out financially, hasn't ever seen her more than an hour and never alone.
He's never had a job, lives with his mom.
His mom also has 3 kids in her care working graveyard hardly making ends meet in a teeny apartment, just divorced from abusive relationship etc.... his moms great don't get me wrong... but she CANNOT go to him if i were to die. CANNOT.

Sooo considering my parents have been actively involved in her life, helping somewhat financially when need be, make a very good salary, have a stable home, christian etc.

How can i be sure my daughter goes to them if i die? US btw but i can't imagine us and uk laws being tooo drastically different in terms of this.

 

[dustbunny]

You can put in a request in your will. I'm not sure how it works with FOB not being on the certificate in America but when I went to the solicitor he said that, God forbid, there was a tragic accident which rendered me unconscious and unable to give consent for anything to do with LO it would go to my mother. So, I am guessing, this would be the case in the event of my untimely death. However... if the FOB was to contest it I think it would take a while for DNA etc and court time for his name to be put on the certificate and therefore your LO would still be living with your parents. Also his access, whether he has bothered, his financial situation, his living arrangements and general stability would be taken into consideration as well.

 

[LoveMyBugg x]

You can put in a request in your will. I'm not sure how it works with FOB not being on the certificate in America but when I went to the solicitor he said that, God forbid, there was a tragic accident which rendered me unconscious and unable to give consent for anything to do with LO it would go to my mother. So, I am guessing, this would be the case in the event of my untimely death. However... if the FOB was to contest it I think it would take a while for DNA etc and court time for his name to be put on the certificate and therefore your LO would still be living with your parents. Also his access, whether he has bothered, his financial situation, his living arrangements and general stability would be taken into consideration as well.

I was hoping somebody would say that...

That's what I was thinking as well... HE'D have to pay for and go through the processes to get himself on the bc and than fight in court I'd imagine... honestly, I doubt he'd do that. he's lazy... and my mom wouldn't stop him from seeing her if he did decide he wanted too... so he'd have no reason to go to court??? through his eyes....

&they would HAVE to take a look at his situation right?? I couldn't imagine they'd take a child from the only home she's known, a very stable, loving environment and throw her into the mess of his.

I do plan to talk to a lawyer soon to get everything clear in my mind and get whatever i can at this point set in stone. x

 

[Laura2919]

You can write a will and because he is not on the BC it can make it harder but it still doesn't rule that he wont get LO. Nothing is definite, he can still contest the will and get custody of LO

 

[LoveMyBugg x]

You can write a will and because he is not on the BC it can make it harder but it still doesn't rule that he wont get LO. Nothing is definite, he can still contest the will and get custody of LO

Even that makes me feel better, as i doubt he'd have the motivation to do a damn thing about it.

& his mom would prob. tell him it's smarter not too.. she realizes she's better off with us, as hard as that may be for her.
I'm lucky she's the way she is, despite the resentment her son and i have for one another.

 

[Laura2919]

Are you in US or UK? I am only going by UK law as I am in UK but I would enquire a little more into it.

 

[LoveMyBugg x]

Are you in US or UK? I am only going by UK law as I am in UK but I would enquire a little more into it.

US but i would imagine the laws wouldn't be drasticly different in these regaurds. xx

I'm talking to a lawyer when i can to get things sorted, thought's straight, and whatever i can set in stone right now.

 

[Laura2919]

Are you in US or UK? I am only going by UK law as I am in UK but I would enquire a little more into it.

US but i would imagine the laws wouldn't be drasticly different in these regaurds. xx

I'm talking to a lawyer when i can to get things sorted, thought's straight, and whatever i can set in stone right now.

I don't know if they would be different, I do know we get a lot more financial help here so maybe it would be.. Best to check anyway.

Let us know how you get on x

 

[LoveMyBugg x]

Are you in US or UK? I am only going by UK law as I am in UK but I would enquire a little more into it.

US but i would imagine the laws wouldn't be drasticly different in these regaurds. xx

I'm talking to a lawyer when i can to get things sorted, thought's straight, and whatever i can set in stone right now.

I don't know if they would be different, I do know we get a lot more financial help here so maybe it would be.. Best to check anyway.

Let us know how you get on x

Well financially it'd be alot different i suppose! I will!

 

[Laura2919]

We get so much help over here compared to US. If I lived in US i'd have been homeless.

 

[LoveMyBugg x]

Ahhh i know. from what i can tell you're government actually helps it's ppl...

ours, from my understanding, is so selfish. money oriented.. the rich get richer.

 

[Laura2919]

We complain but compared to US we do get a lot of help. We shouldn't be so quick to complain.

 

[LoveMyBugg x]

We complain but compared to US we do get a lot of help. We shouldn't be so quick to complain.

There are pros and cons to both nations.

 

[Laura2919]

Sure is

 

[MommaAlexis]

Oh lord I haven't thought about me having an accident. Now to look into the laws in Canada!

 

[LoveMyBugg x]

Oh lord I haven't thought about me having an accident. Now to look into the laws in Canada!

Yes, be prepared! please!

 

[Wantingbbbump]

I live in Washington and have spoke to a family law office and was told that I can name who will get my kids if I should die but I also need to say why. I need to list who can't have my kids and again why. The judge is more apt to listen to your request if you have good reasons why the child shouldn't go to FOB. As for me I really have no worries because my girls FOB has not seen or been involved with my girls in over 10 years. Not even a birthday card. The longer they go without seeing them the better. Shoot they even look at if they have paid any support for the child, on their own without DCS making them by taking money out of their check. They will also look at the fact that he didn't sign a affidavit of paternity. She is 4 months old now and they will wonder if he wanted her so bad then why didn't he stand up and take action to become her legal father. My oldest daughters dad didn't find out about her until she was a month away from being 8 and here the courts won't allow him rights to his own daughter because 1. I had got married 10 days before she was born and said that my EX husband was her legal father and 2. He waited too long after he found out via a dna test that he was her dad to try and get any rights. Oh you have to love our state. I do think it's messed up that they won't allow my daughters dad to be on her BC so she can get on his medical (he is in the army) and leaves a man that hates her on her BC!!! Anyways good luck in getting this sorted out and I'd say get it done asap!!!

 

[10.11.12]

I've also spoken to a lawyer about this (I'm in the US) and the only surefire way to make sure she goes where you want her to is to make a will with your first choice of legal guardian and your second. It also allows you to specify how you want her to be raised (education, religion, ect..)

 

[LoveMyBugg x]

I live in Washington and have spoke to a family law office and was told that I can name who will get my kids if I should die but I also need to say why. I need to list who can't have my kids and again why. The judge is more apt to listen to your request if you have good reasons why the child shouldn't go to FOB. As for me I really have no worries because my girls FOB has not seen or been involved with my girls in over 10 years. Not even a birthday card. The longer they go without seeing them the better. Shoot they even look at if they have paid any support for the child, on their own without DCS making them by taking money out of their check. They will also look at the fact that he didn't sign a affidavit of paternity. She is 4 months old now and they will wonder if he wanted her so bad then why didn't he stand up and take action to become her legal father. My oldest daughters dad didn't find out about her until she was a month away from being 8 and here the courts won't allow him rights to his own daughter because 1. I had got married 10 days before she was born and said that my EX husband was her legal father and 2. He waited too long after he found out via a dna test that he was her dad to try and get any rights. Oh you have to love our state. I do think it's messed up that they won't allow my daughters dad to be on her BC so she can get on his medical (he is in the army) and leaves a man that hates her on her BC!!! Anyways good luck in getting this sorted out and I'd say get it done asap!!!

i'm in washington as well OMGSH you just calmed SO MANY NERVES. I cannnnottt thank you enough for informing me of this... i have MANY valid, legit, strong reasons why she shouldn't go to him. I feel very comfortable now.. i will be writing a will ASAP... any family lawyer recommendations?? wow.. thanks again..

 

[LoveMyBugg x]

I've also spoken to a lawyer about this (I'm in the US) and the only surefire way to make sure she goes where you want her to is to make a will with your first choice of legal guardian and your second. It also allows you to specify how you want her to be raised (education, religion, ect..)

I'm so frickin happy to hear this... beyond relieved.. knowing that is so much more comforting, thanks. really.