If you started out breast feeding-please I need advice!

[MindUtopia]

I EBF for 8 weeks and then combi-fed with expressed milk for another 2 weeks after that. I absolutely wanted to keep BF and wouldn't have stopped, but for a number of reasons (my daughter wouldn't latch without a nipple shield and by 8 weeks I'd started having a terrible allergic reaction to the nipple shield, plus had recurring mastitis), I had to pump. My body just didn't respond to the pump and even pumping 6 hours a day, my supply just plummeted to nothing over those two weeks when I was combi-feeding. It was horrible. So I didn't really have a choice to stop, but just had to accept when it happened. In the long run though, it was the best thing for us. My daughter always had trouble eating and was very slow to gain weight (took a month to regain her birth weight, was 2nd centile for awhile). She still doesn't eat much now, but switching her to bottles meant she at least caught back up in weight gain. My supply probably wasn't great either, it took me all day of pumping to ever even get a bottle and sometimes not even that much. There were a few days when I'd pump for hours during the day and only get about 30 ml. She was so much happier after we made the switch. I still have days when it really upsets me because I wanted to BF long-term for several years and it was very depressing when it didn't work out. But it gets better with time. You'll know when it's right for you. Though if expressing works for you, I'd do it as long as you can.

Also, look up nursing aversion. It's a real thing and sounds like what you're experiencing. I felt somewhat similar when I was BF, but it was largely to do with the pain. For me, BF was about 10x more painful than labour because of the mastitis and the allergic reaction. But you don't have to be in pain to have a nursing aversion.

 

[Dk1234]

Not gonna read all the replies so this could have been said already but could you be pregnant? Nursing aversion is a sign or also it's a sign your period is due too. I got pregnant accidentally at 4 months pp while ebf. I stopped around 9 months pp because my milk supply was basically gone. I miss it

 

[optimistic1]

Not gonna read all the replies so this could have been said already but could you be pregnant? Nursing aversion is a sign or also it's a sign your period is due too. I got pregnant accidentally at 4 months pp while ebf. I stopped around 9 months pp because my milk supply was basically gone. I miss it

Oh no lol I'm only 4 weeks pp haven't got back to 'sexy time' yet! Things are better so I think it might of been a mix of hormones and her wanting to nurse for hours and be becoming antsy!

 

[Peggy O]

Nursing aversion sucks! It is a very real thing. For me it has happened a few times in nearly 6 months. When I had a UTI, and when I had two periods (ugh). We do supplement with a 2 oz formula plus vitamin drops per day, but I am still breastfeeding for the rest. The way scaremongers try to make you feel for using formula is RIDICULOUS. (Stay far away from the BF forum if you are going to talk formula, I learned the hard way!). Do whatever is right for your family. My best friend fully formula fed/feeds all 6 of her kids and they are smart and healthy and just fine.

 

[Fortune Cooki]

Have you tried using a manual pump? I have a Medela one and I can pump 3 to 5 ounces in 10 minutes depending on how full my breast was when I started. I keep a refrigerated stash of bottles, so that DH can grab them to feed LO. She takes the milk right out of the fridge. At the beginning DH would heat them by sticking them in hot tap water, but then I decided to try them cold. She doesn't care, either way. So it makes things easier. I've had thrush (still do) from the very beginning due to 3 doses of Penicillin during labor. Yeah, it's been horribly painful, but I still find breastfeeding less time consuming and I like being hands free and not having to hold a bottle. I get so much more sleep now, because DH can just watch her and give her the pumped bottles. I just really don't see a need for me to have to supplement with formula. I would need a better reason: medical issues, not enough supply, etc. So if you find yourself in a similar situation as me, don't give up. The feeling of resentment did not last long for me. I think it was mainly the horrid pain at the beginning for the first few weeks due to the latch being horrible and thrush being super bad. Now I can walk around in public with her in the Moby wrap, breastfeeding, hands free, I don't even notice she's sucking.

 

[Dk1234]

Nursing aversion sucks! It is a very real thing. For me it has happened a few times in nearly 6 months. When I had a UTI, and when I had two periods (ugh). We do supplement with a 2 oz formula plus vitamin drops per day, but I am still breastfeeding for the rest. The way scaremongers try to make you feel for using formula is RIDICULOUS. (Stay far away from the BF forum if you are going to talk formula, I learned the hard way!). Do whatever is right for your family. My best friend fully formula fed/feeds all 6 of her kids and they are smart and healthy and just fine.

That's not really fair, the breastfeeding part of this forum provides a lot of support. And i was pretty active in it while I bf. the thing with formula is once you start using it, it's hard to go back. Trust me, I know. I don't think anyone tries to scare anyone about formula but more make sure you know what you're doing cause its easier to give up when it's at it's hard points and then many many women end up regretting it. There is nothing wrong with formula but if you want to bf there is nothing wrong with that too and these feelings often pass. Hope you're over the jump. Look into growth spurts, they don't always want to nurse all the time, I promise.

 

[Jendra]

Nursing aversion sucks! It is a very real thing. For me it has happened a few times in nearly 6 months. When I had a UTI, and when I had two periods (ugh). We do supplement with a 2 oz formula plus vitamin drops per day, but I am still breastfeeding for the rest. The way scaremongers try to make you feel for using formula is RIDICULOUS. (Stay far away from the BF forum if you are going to talk formula, I learned the hard way!). Do whatever is right for your family. My best friend fully formula fed/feeds all 6 of her kids and they are smart and healthy and just fine.

That's not really fair, the breastfeeding part of this forum provides a lot of support. And i was pretty active in it while I bf. the thing with formula is once you start using it, it's hard to go back.

They do and they don't. (And while some women choose formula, other times formula chooses them) I've seen users posting unhelpful things about how any woman can do it if she tries hard enough, that problems can always be overcome. I recently read some actually saying no breast changes during pregnancy means nothing. But that's flat out inaccurate. It might signal she has IGT, which most certainly can affect milk production.

Being told otherwise can set that woman up for failure and disappointment if in the event she does have this issue. It's very possible she may. If 5% of all women can't breastfeed, that's a rather massive number. When you think about how many women exist in the world right now, about 3.5 billion, that's 175 million women alive right now who are, were or will be unable to feed their babies. They walk among us. Some of us are these women.

Women who've never faced brick walls (Not overcome-able obstacles, but real full-stop it-ain't-happenin' problems) in feeding their babies don't know what it's like, at all. And as such, they can be the wrong people to talk to.

And if you can breastfeed but find it better for you or your family to combi feed, there can be a lack of support for that as well. It can be hurtful.

 

[Peggy O]

I have been happily BFing (for nearly 6 months, on demand) and we give 2 oz F + vites for my medical reasons. I have malabsorbtion, am missing a large portion of my intestine and have about 2 or 3 ounces of stomach left. I also have one functional breast. I have a nearly 6 month old kid who fits in NB clothes. People still told me I was wrong/uninformed/bad-whatever, for using that little bit of F. THAT is the only reason I recommended not bringing up F in the BF forum here. I cried for days after people told me I was irreversibly poisoning my child. Not OK. This is a support forum. I'm glad your experience was positive, but mine has not been. I still pop in there once in a while but I am mostly scared to post now. I really am, and I think that is unfair. So I'm sorry if I come off bitchy about it. I didn't want the OP to be made to feel that way.

I have asked mods for a combi forum. No response. I think it would be nice.

 

[Dk1234]

Nursing aversion sucks! It is a very real thing. For me it has happened a few times in nearly 6 months. When I had a UTI, and when I had two periods (ugh). We do supplement with a 2 oz formula plus vitamin drops per day, but I am still breastfeeding for the rest. The way scaremongers try to make you feel for using formula is RIDICULOUS. (Stay far away from the BF forum if you are going to talk formula, I learned the hard way!). Do whatever is right for your family. My best friend fully formula fed/feeds all 6 of her kids and they are smart and healthy and just fine.

That's not really fair, the breastfeeding part of this forum provides a lot of support. And i was pretty active in it while I bf. the thing with formula is once you start using it, it's hard to go back.

They do and they don't. (And while some women choose formula, other times formula chooses them) I've seen users posting unhelpful things about how any woman can do it if she tries hard enough, that problems can always be overcome. I recently read some actually saying no breast changes during pregnancy means nothing. But that's flat out inaccurate. It might signal she has IGT, which most certainly can affect milk production.

Being told otherwise can set that woman up for failure and disappointment if in the event she does have this issue. It's very possible she may. If 5% of all women can't breastfeed, that's a rather massive number. When you think about how many women exist in the world right now, about 3.5 billion, that's 175 million women alive right now who are, were or will be unable to feed their babies. They walk among us. Some of us are these women.

Women who've never faced brick walls (Not overcome-able obstacles, but real full-stop it-ain't-happenin' problems) in feeding their babies don't know what it's like, at all. And as such, they can be the wrong people to talk to.

And if you can breastfeed but find it better for you or your family to combi feed, there can be a lack of support for that as well. It can be hurtful.

The poster has said nothing that leads me to believe she has bfing issues other than normal bfing problems. And so many women in the bfing section, including myself when I was bfing have overcome some crazy things and can be super helpful to people with issues. I've never seen anyone in the bfing section say everyone can bf. there are women who ebf, women who ee, women who have relactated, and women who combi feed In there. I just think its poor advice to tell someone to stay away from the portion of this forum made for support for people who are bfing. I'm so sorry you had a bad experience in there. It really shocks me. Without that section I probably wouldn't have known to keep nursing through jaundice and thrush and then pregnancy. Formula is awesome but if someone is bfing its probably because they want to and there is nothing wrong with encouraging them to stick with it while its hard because it almost always gets easier quickly. And I say almost because it doesn't always, but there is no reason to just assume that's the case with anyone

 

[Dk1234]

I have been happily BFing (for nearly 6 months, on demand) and we give 2 oz F + vites for my medical reasons. I have malabsorbtion, am missing a large portion of my intestine and have about 2 or 3 ounces of stomach left. I also have one functional breast. I have a nearly 6 month old kid who fits in NB clothes. People still told me I was wrong/uninformed/bad-whatever, for using that little bit of F. THAT is the only reason I recommended not bringing up F in the BF forum here. I cried for days after people told me I was irreversibly poisoning my child. Not OK. This is a support forum. I'm glad your experience was positive, but mine has not been. I still pop in there once in a while but I am mostly scared to post now. I really am, and I think that is unfair. So I'm sorry if I come off bitchy about it. I didn't want the OP to be made to feel that way.

I have asked mods for a combi forum. No response. I think it would be nice.

If someone in the bfing forum told you that formula was poison then you should have reported it because that wouldn't have been tolerated. That is def not the norm

 

[Jendra]

The poster has said nothing that leads me to believe she has bfing issues other than normal bfing problems.

No, she was just considering a change for her own reasons and getting info about what that might entail. And I know she can breastfeed. That doesn't change what I said:

And if you can breastfeed but find it better for you or your family to combi feed, there can be a lack of support for that as well. It can be hurtful.

This is the formula forum. It's a place to get information about formula. There is a startling lack of resources for us out there, so very few supportive places online where you can just talk formula and get the dirt from other FF moms. It always just comes back to the breast. It's like there's no safe place to just be a FF mom and talk shop without it always coming back to BF. It's very frustrating.

It's any mom's call to FF if she sees fit, for any reason she sees fit. Her body, her family, her baby, her life, her choice. I think encouragement for BF belongs in BFing forums for those seeking it. In a formula forum, one should be able to ask frank questions about this feeding method without someone piping in about continuing to breastfeed.

It's not wrong to gather info from the experiences of various moms who feed in various ways. Sometimes it's perfectly acceptable to hear about FF on its own. That's what this forum is for, is it not?

Consider this alternative situation if you still don't see my point. Is it helpful to go into the BF forum and suggest using formula when a mom wants BF info?

 

[Dk1234]

The poster has said nothing that leads me to believe she has bfing issues other than normal bfing problems.

No, she was just considering a change for her own reasons and getting info about what that might entail. And I know she can breastfeed. That doesn't change what I said:

And if you can breastfeed but find it better for you or your family to combi feed, there can be a lack of support for that as well. It can be hurtful.

This is the formula forum. It's a place to get information about formula. There is a startling lack of resources for us out there, so very few supportive places online where you can just talk formula and get the dirt from other FF moms. It always just comes back to the breast. It's like there's no safe place to just be a FF mom and talk shop without it always coming back to BF. It's very frustrating.

It's any mom's call to FF if she sees fit, for any reason she sees fit. Her body, her family, her baby, her life, her choice. I think encouragement for BF belongs in BFing forums for those seeking it. In a formula forum, one should be able to ask frank questions about this feeding method without someone piping in about continuing to breastfeed.

It's not wrong to gather info from the experiences of various moms who feed in various ways. Sometimes it's perfectly acceptable to hear about FF on its own. That's what this forum is for, is it not?

Consider this alternative situation if you still don't see my point. Is it helpful to go into the BF forum and suggest using formula when a mom wants BF info?

Look, I answered the original post. She has already stated things got better with the bfing. I'm sorry but just because this is the ff section the answer to every question from someone currently bfing isn't switch immediately. I've been a bfing mom and I've been a combi feeding mom and I've been a ff mom and I'm sorry if you don't like how I honestly answer questions but I'm not gonna change the way I answer them because of that. If I've said something against the rules then report me. Formula is actually suggested quite a bit in the bfing section. She stated she loves bfing and she doesn't want to quit so I'm not gonna tell her she has to. If she had said I want to switch how do ok do it, fine but she didn't. I cannot stand that you can't talk about bfing without people thinking you're against formula. Formula is amazing, if not for formula my son could've starved when I became pregnant at 4 months pp so don't accuse me of being anti formula, I'm just honest and I'm sorry you've taken offense to it

 

[Craigswife]

Hello
I'm having real breastfeeding issues and really considering stopping. I apologise in advance if this is a long one but just need to get it off my chest and share with people understand and are open minded.
My baby is 5 weeks old, but was born 8 weeks early and right from the start I thought I wanted to breast feed so expressed for her. The hospital were very pro-breast feeding telling me all the antibodies are what a premature baby needs and obviously every mum wants to do the right thing for their baby so I really threw myself into expressing and later on putting her to the breast and teaching her to latch on and suck. I spent long hours expressing or at the hospital feeding her, luckily she was only in special care for 3 weeks as I've got another child who didn't see much of me for a while, which we both found hard.
Anyway fast forward 5 weeks and my beautiful little girl is home and breastfeeding like a pro but I'm seriously thinking of stopping. It's got so incredibly hard for several reasons. Firstly she has reflux which means I need to keep her upright for a while after feeding to prevent her bringing back her feeds, this isn't a huge problem except she feeds so frequently, probably 2-3hrly and sometimes every 1hr for 4 hours or so, but by the time she's fed, winded and kept upright on my shoulder the whole cycle starts again and shes often sick and then cries to be fed again. I've introduce a formula feed at night with anti-reflux milk because I can't function with her feeding so often in the night and the reflux is much worse at night when she's laid down more, so spend all night sitting up with her feeding and then keeping her upright.

I find the cluster feeding so emotionally draining and so time consuming, I can't plan anything or go out for long, perhaps it's early days but there is no routine to her feeding.
I feel guilty for switching to formula as shes taken to breastfeeding so well, my supply is good and im not sore, although I know stopping is the right thing to do for our family. Today has been really difficult, my husband has been at work so it's been just me and the children. My poor little boy has just had to entertain himself a lot as I've been glued to the sofa doing the feeding, winding cycle. Then she started cluster feeding over tea time and my sons bedtime which was stressful, my poor little boy got a plate of pasta while my daughter was glued to my boob and then she settled to sleep so I bathed my son, no sooner had he got in she started screaming to be fed again. So back on the boob while trying to bath my son. I can't do this long term, I need to be able to get a couple of hours between feeds. Sometimes I think she's using me as a human dummy and suckles for comfort as much as through hunger. My husband can't do much apart from nappies and its intense being the only one who can feed her.
I've spoken to my Health Visitor but she could only say it was my decision, but breast milk is the best for a premature baby and it would help prevent Illnesses, blah blah blah! She's picked up a bit of a cold already and is snuffly, so those antibodies can't be doing much!

I'm starting to feel stressed by feeding and guilt for feeling that way and not enjoying it, all i hear is people saying how lovely breastfeeding is and just not feeling it myself, guilt for stopping for selfish reasons and then guilt for my son who needs my attention too. I think I will give myself this week and if nothing changes I will make the transition from breast to formula. I want to enjoy both my children and be a happy mummy, not one who can't get out the house and serves her child pasta every night with a baby hanging off the breast! I also need my hair cut, but how on earth can I get to the hairdressers!
Thanks for taking the time to read this long post xx

 

[Dk1234]

Hang in there hun! Whatever decision you make, do not feel guilty for it. You be given your baby an amazing start and you have to do what's best for you. I'm gonna have two 13.5 months apart soon and I'm so nervous about nursing with another lo. I know it has to be hard. Why not offer a bottle of
Formula every now and then to give yourself a break. If you don't do it at the same time everyday it probably won't affect your supply that much if its pretty well established and good

 

[MumMumMum]

Hello
I'm having real breastfeeding issues and really considering stopping. I apologise in advance if this is a long one but just need to get it off my chest and share with people understand and are open minded.
My baby is 5 weeks old, but was born 8 weeks early and right from the start I thought I wanted to breast feed so expressed for her. The hospital were very pro-breast feeding telling me all the antibodies are what a premature baby needs and obviously every mum wants to do the right thing for their baby so I really threw myself into expressing and later on putting her to the breast and teaching her to latch on and suck. I spent long hours expressing or at the hospital feeding her, luckily she was only in special care for 3 weeks as I've got another child who didn't see much of me for a while, which we both found hard.
Anyway fast forward 5 weeks and my beautiful little girl is home and breastfeeding like a pro but I'm seriously thinking of stopping. It's got so incredibly hard for several reasons. Firstly she has reflux which means I need to keep her upright for a while after feeding to prevent her bringing back her feeds, this isn't a huge problem except she feeds so frequently, probably 2-3hrly and sometimes every 1hr for 4 hours or so, but by the time she's fed, winded and kept upright on my shoulder the whole cycle starts again and shes often sick and then cries to be fed again. I've introduce a formula feed at night with anti-reflux milk because I can't function with her feeding so often in the night and the reflux is much worse at night when she's laid down more, so spend all night sitting up with her feeding and then keeping her upright.

I find the cluster feeding so emotionally draining and so time consuming, I can't plan anything or go out for long, perhaps it's early days but there is no routine to her feeding.
I feel guilty for switching to formula as shes taken to breastfeeding so well, my supply is good and im not sore, although I know stopping is the right thing to do for our family. Today has been really difficult, my husband has been at work so it's been just me and the children. My poor little boy has just had to entertain himself a lot as I've been glued to the sofa doing the feeding, winding cycle. Then she started cluster feeding over tea time and my sons bedtime which was stressful, my poor little boy got a plate of pasta while my daughter was glued to my boob and then she settled to sleep so I bathed my son, no sooner had he got in she started screaming to be fed again. So back on the boob while trying to bath my son. I can't do this long term, I need to be able to get a couple of hours between feeds. Sometimes I think she's using me as a human dummy and suckles for comfort as much as through hunger. My husband can't do much apart from nappies and its intense being the only one who can feed her.
I've spoken to my Health Visitor but she could only say it was my decision, but breast milk is the best for a premature baby and it would help prevent Illnesses, blah blah blah! She's picked up a bit of a cold already and is snuffly, so those antibodies can't be doing much!

I'm starting to feel stressed by feeding and guilt for feeling that way and not enjoying it, all i hear is people saying how lovely breastfeeding is and just not feeling it myself, guilt for stopping for selfish reasons and then guilt for my son who needs my attention too. I think I will give myself this week and if nothing changes I will make the transition from breast to formula. I want to enjoy both my children and be a happy mummy, not one who can't get out the house and serves her child pasta every night with a baby hanging off the breast! I also need my hair cut, but how on earth can I get to the hairdressers!
Thanks for taking the time to read this long post xx

Do whatever is right for your family. Caring for my dd1 was my reason for stopping bf dd2. Whilst I have felt guilty for it, I have been able to feed, bath, play and change dd1 since I switched.

For me it was about being the best mum to both of my girls. I resented having to bf so much that I didn't enjoy that time with dd2 & hated the way it was affecting dd1.

If I could go back in time I think i'd make the same decision. Be sure of what you want to do abd don't be guilted into either method.

 

[Serafina83]

Hello my son is 4 months old and I've had 2 phases of feeling exactly how you have just described. Both times was when he was going through a growth spurt and I stopped feeling like it after a week. Maybe it's the same for you? How old is you little one? X

 

[Serafina83]

I also started giving him a dummy at 4 weeks as the only way he would fall asleep was on the boob which I really despised x