If you were me, would you start trying?

[Katie2010]

Hi everyone,

I have a dilemma - and I fully understand that I need to make this decision myself, but I really need to talk to somebody other than my husband

I have a two year old, had a hell of a pregnancy with him - preeclampsia, almost 2 months in hospital, emergency c-section, premature baby, huge weight gain (some of which I still can't shift).

The company I worked for closed down last year so we started our own business. As you can imagine, it's hard and the money is very tight as whatever we make goes back into the business. I am also a part time student and this is my final year.

A couple of weeks ago I had a scan as my coil moved. The coil was fine, but the doctor doing the scan discovered I had a fibroid and advised that if we wanted another child, we should really start trying asap.

I was not ready for this - financially this is really not the right time, BUT I always wanted two kids and if I leave it for another year or two and then struggle to concieve I know I would just hate myself.

What would you do? I am terrified at the prospect of falling pregnant now as that would mean struggling financially even more, but I would also hate for my little boy to grow up without any siblings.

 

[ellieraine]

Hi,

I am not sure if I can help, but didn't want to read and run. It sounds like you had a hell of a time first time round.

I think if I was in your shoes I would spend ages going round the houses and constantly changing my mind, but at the the end of the day, if you are not ready for another child then you probably need to go with your current frame of mind.

Try not to put extra pressure on yourself, perhaps give yourself a few months without forcing yourself to make a decision and then see how you feel and whether the timing is better.

Sorry I cannot help, but just want you to know that I am thinking about you x

 

[Twinminator]

I don't know how I got to be reading your thread, or even how I got onto the wtt forum!, but I am and I do feel for you

I realise how heart breaking it must be to be put in such a situation, but if you'd never found out there was an issue with your fertility, would you be trying for another baby right now? I think not. Because you know it is far from the ideal time to start. Who's to say that you will definitely 100% fail to conceive in a few years time anyway?
On the flip side, if you had accidentally fallen pregnant before all this dilemma consumed you, would you be pleased? Or panicked?

If I were you, but hadn't yet known the magic of motherhood, I would go through hell and back to become a mother... but you will at least go to your grave with that honour whatever the future brings. Siblings are not the be all and end all either, I'm the youngest of five and sadly none of mine keep in touch with me which is a source of great pain to me.

Last of all, you are completely right in that it is YOUR DECISION, of course it is, but with IVF and suchlike, or simply good physical luck, it isn't a decision you necessarily have to make in 2010! xxx