Im a failure!!

[loopy lucy]

hi, couldnt bring myself to type this last night. ill tell you the whole story...

yesterday morning, i woke up and i had bled loads, i made craig ring the hospital straight away n they told me to get there straight away. we had to get Amy n Ellie up because we didnt have anyone to watch them, we drove straight there, and the doctor saw me straight away due to there being hardly anyone there, he examined me, then said he wanted to do a scan, one of the nurses took the girls to the play room so me and craig could be alone, the doctor did the scan and said after about 10 mins of scan that he was really sorry but couldnt find a heart beat, i just lay there n cried while craig held me, the doctor then said that i needed to get the foetus out before it caused damage, they said they could do it straight away if wanted so i had a hour with the girls, then i was taken to be prepered for theatre, whilst i was in theatre, craig took the girls to his moms then came back, afta the op, i stayed at the hospital for 2 hours then craig drove me home were we sat on the sofa and just cried, the girls have stayed at craigs moms 4 2 nights because its not fair on them being around when me and craig keep crying. i tried to be strong but cant,

im such a failure, i didnt do anything to bring the miscarrige on..


sorry for the long story, just wanted to tell some one.


xxxxxxxxx

 

[littlestar]

don't blame yourself honey, Miscarriages are not something we can prevent chick, they happen for a reason. you can't just bring them on.

 

[gnomette]

you are not a failure!!!! its just something that happens there is nothing you could have done to prevent it!! you have done the right thing by sending the girls where they can be away from it all i did the same with my son!
i am so sorry for your loss! take care lovely

 

[Jessa]

You are absolutely NOT a failure! Any doctor will tell you that most miscarriages are caused by factors out of our control. Take time to be together and cry. You need to take care of yourself right now, both physically and emotionally.

 

[bklove]

This is something we have little control over, you are absolutely not a failure, just a beautiful woman trying to be a mother. I'm so sorry you had to go through this experience but you couldn't have known it was going to happen. I hope you continue to talk on here and read the threads it will bring you alot of understanding and support.

 

[RobenR]

As everyone has said, you are *not* a failure and this is *not* your fault. There is no way to predict or avoid a miscarriage. You are a strong woman who will be a mother yet. I am so sorry that you have had to go through this.

 

[Shelby2007]

Oh gosh honey.. you are NOT a failure.. Do not for once think that this was your fault.. nothing you said or did.. cause this to happen. Cry when you need to cry.. scream when you need to scream.. Im so glad that your husband is there with you.

Thinking about you.

 

[firstimer]

Sorry for your loss you are not a failure and couldnt have known or done anything to prevent it - we all go over this a thousand times even knowing that in most cases a healthy pg wouldnt terminate itself so please try and grieve take comfort in your family xxx

 

[Las78]

Hun, I am so very sorry. Please don't say you're a failure because you are most certainly not. This is not your fault at all. I don't know what else to say Hun, I know how very hard this is for you and my heart goes out to you. Go easy on yourself sweetie, take good care and if you need to chat we are all here for you.

Hugs x

 

[Rebaby]

I'm so sorry for your loss

Please don't feel like you have failed in some way, i know its easier said than done but it isn't your fault this has happened to you.

Take care of each other.

 

[Kiddo]

As the others have said you're definitely not a failure. When I had my mc I thought in some ways it would be easier to be able to put my finger on something I had done wrong that would have made it happen, but in truth, a lot of it is down to plain bad luck.

You're doing right taking some time out from the world to come to terms with it. All the best to you in the future chick.

 

[lou1979]

Ohh huni no no no you ARE NOT a faliure.. no way!

Bless you

Time is a great healer but please please please dont punish yourself xxxxx

 

[colsy]

Sweetheart, you're absolutely not a failure. I feel for you sooo much. But hold on to this: there was nothing you did or didn't do that made this happen. It would have happened anyway, regardless of your actions. What you're going through now is hard enough without you beating yourself up about it too. Try, really try, to be nice to yourself - you deserve it

 

[loopy lucy]

hi this is craig (lucy's fiancee) she asked me to have a look on here saying that she came on last night but didnt want to look in case people thought they were having a go at her, saying she's a bad mum. i told her she wasnt but she still wouldnt have a look. she has really took this bad, we both have, this was our first child together and we were so happy, it was really scary.

we have had to bring the girls home today because amy wanted to come home and ellie missed her mummy. i fetched them this morning and currently, amy is next to me on the sofa watching tv and ellie is curled up with luce on the other sofa with her pjamas back on so she can be like mommy haha. luce is hopping to get up shortly and we plan to take the girls out. she said last night that she now wants to concentrate on being a good mommy to the girls. Oh and ellie's chicken pox are getting better haha.

craig, lucy, amy and ellie xxxx

 

[Jessa]

Hi Craig, I'm glad to hear that the girls are back home with you and are helping to support Lucy. Having them there might help remind her of everything that she does have, while not forgetting what you have all just experienced. As I've said in other posts, this will get easier. You'll have bad days where the emotions are really, really close to the surface. But, you'll also have good days where you feel more positive (I know...you can't even begin to believe that now!) and feel ready to try again. Support each other and you'll come out the other side closer than you've ever been before.

 

[golcarlilly]

You are not a failure at all sweetie, I think all of us who have suffered a m/c blame ourselves at some point but these things just happen through no fault of our own, take care of yourself and your lovely OH and children and I hope you are soon ready to try again, thinking of you

 

[bklove]

There is nothing like the love and support of family to heal all wounds. Continue to love and care for each other.

 

[Las78]

hi this is craig (lucy's fiancee) she asked me to have a look on here saying that she came on last night but didnt want to look in case people thought they were having a go at her, saying she's a bad mum.

Lucy and Craig - so sorry about what you are going through. You sound like a very strong couple, I don't think my OH would come on here and do that for me.

I didi post a message before and noticed craigs post now and just wanted to say that I never for one minute after reading your thread throught you were a bad mum for having someone look after the girls for you, I think that goes to show how good a mum you are, because you're protecting them from all the hurt and you two do need the space and time to grieve as well. I found it very hard to be "normal" around my kids and strong around them for the first few days and given the chance I probably would have asked someone else to look after them for a couple of days too.
Good to hear you are all together again now and hoping that over time this becomes a little easier for you all. Thinking of you x

 

[loopy lucy]

hi, im back, sorry havent been on all weekend, craigs brother asked us if we wanted to go to his caravan for a couple of nights so me, craig, amy, ellie and dogs went to wales lol, it was lovely to just relax, then today, amy had to go back to her moms and ellie is here in her bed (thankfully haha) me and ellie are having a day out tomorrow all being well while craigs at work.

thank you for alll the advice -you have gave me, i am finally begining to realoise there was nothing i could do about it really. thank youxxxx

 

[Orange lady]

I'm so sorry to hear this.
I think we all felt like that, but there is nothing that you can do to prevent a miscarriage. It seems that when we are pregnant, we are just passengers. Completely out of control.
Please don't blame yourself. Take care x