I'm being "selfish"...

[mummie2be]

So apparently me not wanting my LO to spend a night away is being selfish? I'm fine with my in-laws watching LO so me and OH can have a few hours alone, and that still won't be happening for a few months, but is it really selfish of me to not want my baby there over night?
It's bad enough they have already told me that some of the clothes I get for LO I'm going to have to leave at their house for when she's here, which won't be happening, but now I'm being selfish because according to FIL "This is just as much our baby as it is yours...if we want her to stay the night then she is"
Uhhhh, are they going threw cramps and body aches, never-ending hunger and peeing every 5 minutes? No. As far as I'm concerned she is more of my baby then anyone elses..

 

[jellybean83]

Id seriously be telling them that this baby is not theres and unless they respect your wishes then even daytime supervised visits will be stopped,You need to lay down the law and be firm with them or they will walk all over you,Unless they have pushed the baby out their vagina or provided the sperm then this baby is most definitely NOT as much theres as it is yours!

 

[mummie2be]

Oh, I've made it very clear to them that I barely want my baby at their house as it is, they'll be lucky to watch her at all. To make it all just even more mind-boggling, is that it was my OH's STEP father that said all this...so as far as I'm concerned, he isn't blood related, he really has no say, and can kiss my ass. I'm will raise MY child the way I want to and do what I please with her.

 

[SpotlessMind]

Selfish? Sure maybe.. but why shouldn't you be?! Every mom SHOULD be selfish with their infant. Id probably tel them to knock it off or id start ignoring them because that baby is noones but yours and your OH's. Its laughable that they think they have any right to her.

 

[LilMiss_91]

Err I would be seriously pissed off! Don't you take any of that crap hun, your baby is just that: YOURS! I feel exactly the same about overnight visits etc. My OH's mum heard that me and OH had been invited to a wedding in September (before I even knew anything about it) and immediately booked the weekend off work so that we could go away (for 3 days) and she could babysit. Well thankyou very much for asking! So I know how you feel!
Seriously, they sound like they need to back off and realise they don't automatically have any rights where your child is concerned and that if they want to fulfill grandparent duties they'll have to learn to respect your wishes xx

 

[mummie2be]

Err I would be seriously pissed off! Don't you take any of that crap hun, your baby is just that: YOURS! I feel exactly the same about overnight visits etc. My OH's mum heard that me and OH had been invited to a wedding in September (before I even knew anything about it) and immediately booked the weekend off work so that we could go away (for 3 days) and she could babysit. Well thankyou very much for asking! So I know how you feel!
Seriously, they sound like they need to back off and realise they don't automatically have any rights where your child is concerned and that if they want to fulfill grandparent duties they'll have to learn to respect your wishes xx

They've already told me that they will be watching LO on my birthday..what they don't know is that we're going to visit my family 4 hours away and will be nowhere near here.
There has been far too many things this pregnancy where they are claiming they have the right to...like my MIL telling me that she will find a way to be in the delivery room, which will NEVER happen, i've already instructed my sister not to call them till I'm literally about to push LO out of me lol

 

[laceyinthesky]

Oh in laws! I feel you, though.. my MIL has already made a nursery in her house but I definitely am not going to let LO stay over there alone as she smokes and constantly has junkies coming in and out of her house. No way am I letting LO be around that!

And I really don't get why all these people feel they are entitled to be in the delivery room. I don't want anyone who doesn't have to be in the room (and OH) looking at my crotch!!!

 

[LilMiss_91]

They've already told me that they will be watching LO on my birthday..what they don't know is that we're going to visit my family 4 hours away and will be nowhere near here.
There has been far too many things this pregnancy where they are claiming they have the right to...like my MIL telling me that she will find a way to be in the delivery room, which will NEVER happen, i've already instructed my sister not to call them till I'm literally about to push LO out of me lol

Ugh, people drive me insane! Nobody has any right to tell you what you'll be doing with your own child your baby is your responsibility and it's upto you to decide where they go, what they do and with who!
And as for getting in the delivery room, I would have just been like "hahaha I don't think so"! I've included on my birth plan that I don't want anyone but my OH in the room for the first couple of hours so the midwives/nurses or whoever can deal with the relatives that may sound selflish and I'm sure my OH's mother won't be pleased but I don't want my newborn baby being passed around like a new toy before I've had first snuggles!

 

[meli1981]

what? that is insane! its YOUR baby! tell them to back off. i know its hard but your inlaws are totally out of order, you really have to set thrm straight. good lyck hun

 

[soccer_fans]

In-laws are the pits sometimes I can relate, as mine seem to be acting the same way. I'm thankful they are supportive and interested, I know some people don't have close family- and I'm lucky.... but, I also wish they would back off and realize I'm not always going to want to do things the way they do. I have a feeling I'm going to end up feeling judged and angry- they have no tact when expressing their opinions.
Anyways, this is our first baby too - I have no idea how it will actually turn out day to day... but with the risk of SIDS- I feel like I better not let anyone have any all-nighters, until I feel comfortable - just for my own health and sanity.
Is that selfish? I don't think so... they can judge me alllll they want, but at the end of the day, my main concern is the kiddo- and there aint nothing selfish about that.

 

[MomPepperdine]

Some people! Gosh! I didn't let dd stay anywhere till after she was 2 and that was cuase the hospital didn't want her there when I had dd! Or she would of stayed there the whole time!

 

[Powell130]

OMG I can't believe they actually said those things to you!! If they want clothes for your baby if/when the baby stays with them, they can buy their own. As far as LO being as much their baby as she is yours - they're seriously off their rockers!

 

[Babushka]

I think you need to stop communicating with them. They sound horrible & your OH can't expect you to put up with this BS.

 

[Macmad]

I've never left my LO with anyone! And she's over 2 now. We do leave her sleeping with nanny in evenings but only a few hours. And that didn't happen until she was nearly 1, lol. Do whatever you feel happy with, I certainly wouldn't let my in laws bully me! sending hugs x

 

[Lauki]

Your inlaws have some serious boundary issues! My daughter still hasn't spent the night anywhere else without me and hubby. She's nearly 2!

The same will happen with this baby. These are OUR babies (hubbies and mine) and no one elses! Those that think differently are mad!

 

[OmiOmen]

They sound crazy and I don't know how you managed to stay remotely calm after them saying that. This is your baby not theirs and you are definitely not overreacting or being selfish.

My in-laws are about the only people I feel comfortable letting look after my son and they have not had him overnight and he is about to turn 3! In fact if I am in labour on a night my husband will be staying with him rather than me because that is what we feel most comfortable doing.

 

[Piper84]

What the hell?! Is this their first grandchild? Not that it excuses anything, but I find parents (soon-to-be grandparents) have a difficult time accepting the change of roles when their own kids become parents. You don't need anyone telling you how to do things unless you expressly ask them, and even then they better tread carefully!

My LO is nearly 2 and still hasn't spent the night away from me. I would probably have allowed it if we had family nearby, but not until at least 18 months. No-one else's choice but mine and DH's

 

[tristansmum]

My son is 2 1/2 and ive left him twice overnight! Once at 6 months to go to a wedding which was only 20 minutes away so i could get back quick but felt it wasn't fair on the couple to take an infant to their day. Second time he was 9 months and i seriously needed a break so he went to my mums. Thats it... both on my terms. My MIL would love him overnight but i just dont see the need. OH and i go out for date nights while my mum babysits at ours... we dont need him gone from the house! Everyone is different on this. Its totally what you feel cmfortable with as a mum. No right or wrong

 

[Whatme]

Lol.. Some people are idiots! Ask to see her vagina on the dining room table see what she says? Stupid woman! Grrrr..

 

[sue_88]

"This is just as much our baby as it is yours...if we want her to stay the night then she is"

Oh my, I LOL'd so hard at this. What a complete DOUCHE your FIL is.

I'd have a blanket ban on them even SEEING the baby, nevermind priveledges like holding her or her going to their house.