I'm devastated !!

[Natty_babez]

I suffered a miscarriage about 2 months back now and me and my oh decided we would try again straight away. I unfortunately didn't fall pregnant and had my af about 2 weeks ago. My oh and I had a conversation over the wknd and he has said he thinks we should put of trying for another baby now atleast until after we've got married !!

I'm devastated and can't stop feeling so low my miscarriage was the worst thing I've been through and the only thing which has kept me going is the thought of us having our rainbow baby and now my oh has said this I don't know what to think. We aren't getting married until May 2018 so by then I will be 31 and just don't want to have to wait that long. I am struggling with anxiety and depression badly since suffering the miscarriage and he's said he doesn't think I'd cope if I was to have another baby and he doesn't want to put me through what I went through a few months back. I know there's a possibility he may change his mind but I just don't know what to think anymore. I've always wanted another baby and since losing our other baby it has made me more determined to get pregnant this time and made me want it so much more than I ever thought I did.

Sorry for the rambling I'm just so upset

Xxx

 

[Mdc]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is the worst thing I have ever had to go through and even with support it is so hard. I do absolutely see your side and I feel the only thing that will make me feel better is to get pregnancy ASAP. However, I can understand your OH's concerns also. Since it is a decision that effects both of you talking about your wishes, hopes, fears, and concerns is a step in the right direction. Have you considered talking to a therapist to help sort through your anxiety and depression since your loss? Maybe even a couple sessions with you and the OH will help come to a joint solution. I know you are probably looking for a more direct answer, but wanted to respond with my thoughts and I hope you both can come to a common answer. Best of luck!

 

[miss_novotny]

Once again I am so sorry for your loss

I dont have any to say that could make you feel more better, but I hope in time you and your oh agree on a much earlier time to ttc.

 

[lewood88]

Hi hun I misscarried in 2013 at 10 weeks I was devastated and wanted to have another pregnancy but me and OH said that as we wanted to buy a bigger house we put it on hold and now we have out big house and I'm 31 weeks pregnant, I know its hard hun but waiting helped me with my depression I think having that time to get my head back on track really helped

I'm so sorry for your loss buy u will have ur rainbow baby when the time is right xxx

 

[Natty_babez]

Thanks everyone for your replies

Me and my OH have spoken a lot about it and I am currently looking for another job (long story short I've been of work since the miscarriage and my boss is being far from sympathetic) so I have said maybe it is a good idea to wait a few months to give myself time to settle into a new job and then maybe have another chat about trying again. I know what my OH is like and if we have unprotected sex I won't stop him because I really want our little rainbow but also wouldn't want to fall pregnant knowing he isn't 100% on board with it all if that makes sense?

I am currently having therapy sessions it's called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy but if I'm completely honest I don't think it's working but I'm gonna see how it goes ....

xxx