hancake100
Mummy to a princess x
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Hi 
I have posted here before when me and FOB had split up in the past but he always ended up sweet talking and we were back together, so this time i have left things a little longer to post....... We have now been split for 8weeks (tomorrow) and he hasnt seen LO since and said he want nothing to do with either of us.
We were together for just over 5years, I really though he was the one even though we had our ups and downs we always seemed to work things out and were all happy as ever again, to good to be true all the times we got back together just seemed to be a band aid hiding the under line problems.
When I found out I was pregnant we werent really together and I thought he wouldnt want to play apart but after much though he did and he wanted to give it a shot. He was there through everything, the scans, the birth etc........
Since Ellie was born (the best thing that has ever happend to me may I add) Things havent been the same between us and I have just kind of just brushed it off as I really truely loved him. He always had a trapped feeling that he was to young for all this and that the grass was always greener on the other side. We would split for a week or so at a time but he always came back and we were happy again. But looking back I was always really stupid to take him back as I knew he would always go through these little feeling and hurt me and not want me all over again and each time it got harder and I seemed to get weaker and did everything to get him back again.
But this time it all came out of the blue, we had been so good for so long and we (well what I thought) were really happy. But on a Sunday 8 weeks ago he came round and was really off with me, putting me down and finding everyway to put me down (we never lived together by the way, which is a god send to me now) then he left in a mood and that night we spoke on the phone like we did every night, he just said that he was going through one of his trapped feeling and to give him some time and everything would be ok and I wasnt to worry.
So I gave him time and didnt contact him untill after a week I had to just to find out where he was at etc..... and he said he still felt the same, he didnt feel the same way about me as he did 2years ago and that there was nothing there between us. I just again brushed it off and said I was willing to give him more time (silly I know but I loved the guy and wouldhave done anything to get him back)............... BUT, everytime I contacted him there after it was always the same apart from he started getting nasty and said lots of things that hurt me. My family and friends have been ace, they always wanted me to get away from him, they all said that he had changed me and I was a different person.
He hadnt even been asking how Ellie was he was more bothered about hurting my feeling and would send me messages saying 'I hope you are crying your eyes out, I hate you' and I would be crying my eyes out and i have done ever since he left that day.
Since he was telling me how much he didnt want me or Ellie in his life I booked an appointment with a solicitor to get her surname changed which he has agreed to and my next appointment is this Tuesday where it will all go ahead.
Thursday just gone was the last straw and a real break off for me he has been texting me message after message saying how much he hates me and is glad to have gotten rid of me and that I will never make anyone happy and to go find some poor other guy and that I am rotten. He then said he wants nothing to do with me or Ellie (again) find someone else to be her dad and have your proper family and that he isnt fit to be her dad. He has since changed his number.
I feel so hurt as I have NEVER done anything for him to hate me, I have done everything for him and would have died for him, I cant get my head round everything and why he is being to nasty towards me. I know I havent done anything wrong or hurt him in anyway, the relationship has been on egg shells for a long time where I used to make sure I didnt step out of line etc.... which again I know is wrong but I was blinded by everything and I just wanted to be with him.
I sent some of the messages to his mum as she always believe he was her lovely son who couldnt put a foot wrong, i think she was blinded by him too. My mum got mad and rang his mum to ask her to make him put a stop to all the nastyness and I have enough to deal with. His mum said that he doesnt want to be a father and that he never wanted Ellie and that he wanted me to have an abortion and that she was a mistake, there were lots more said that has now made me change my views on his mum.
He wasnt brought up in a proper family environment so he doesnt know what its like, him and his brother speak to his mum like pure sh&t but she takes it because she loves them. She got together with their dad because she was getting on and wanted children, they split and FOB's dad has never got over that fact and for the 5years that I have known him he slagged her off, he used to call her all the names under the sun to my ex and his brother. FOB's mum has been chasing a marrid man ever since they split and its been going on for 25 odd years.......... the marrid man left his wife back end of last year and they are now together. She drinks alot too.
So thats my (very long) story, I have most prob left stuff out but it feels good to let it all out.
I just have this fear of being on my own for the rest of my life now, I know things are early days and I dont even want to meet anyone at this moment, i just want it to be me and Ellie. But I cant help but think, I guess thats normal though right from coming out of a long relationship. I also feel I couldnt trust another man. I guess it will all come in time.
Thankyou for reading if you got this far, well done
feel free to ask any questions.......x
I have posted here before when me and FOB had split up in the past but he always ended up sweet talking and we were back together, so this time i have left things a little longer to post....... We have now been split for 8weeks (tomorrow) and he hasnt seen LO since and said he want nothing to do with either of us.
We were together for just over 5years, I really though he was the one even though we had our ups and downs we always seemed to work things out and were all happy as ever again, to good to be true all the times we got back together just seemed to be a band aid hiding the under line problems.
When I found out I was pregnant we werent really together and I thought he wouldnt want to play apart but after much though he did and he wanted to give it a shot. He was there through everything, the scans, the birth etc........
Since Ellie was born (the best thing that has ever happend to me may I add) Things havent been the same between us and I have just kind of just brushed it off as I really truely loved him. He always had a trapped feeling that he was to young for all this and that the grass was always greener on the other side. We would split for a week or so at a time but he always came back and we were happy again. But looking back I was always really stupid to take him back as I knew he would always go through these little feeling and hurt me and not want me all over again and each time it got harder and I seemed to get weaker and did everything to get him back again.
But this time it all came out of the blue, we had been so good for so long and we (well what I thought) were really happy. But on a Sunday 8 weeks ago he came round and was really off with me, putting me down and finding everyway to put me down (we never lived together by the way, which is a god send to me now) then he left in a mood and that night we spoke on the phone like we did every night, he just said that he was going through one of his trapped feeling and to give him some time and everything would be ok and I wasnt to worry.
So I gave him time and didnt contact him untill after a week I had to just to find out where he was at etc..... and he said he still felt the same, he didnt feel the same way about me as he did 2years ago and that there was nothing there between us. I just again brushed it off and said I was willing to give him more time (silly I know but I loved the guy and wouldhave done anything to get him back)............... BUT, everytime I contacted him there after it was always the same apart from he started getting nasty and said lots of things that hurt me. My family and friends have been ace, they always wanted me to get away from him, they all said that he had changed me and I was a different person.
He hadnt even been asking how Ellie was he was more bothered about hurting my feeling and would send me messages saying 'I hope you are crying your eyes out, I hate you' and I would be crying my eyes out and i have done ever since he left that day.
Since he was telling me how much he didnt want me or Ellie in his life I booked an appointment with a solicitor to get her surname changed which he has agreed to and my next appointment is this Tuesday where it will all go ahead.
Thursday just gone was the last straw and a real break off for me he has been texting me message after message saying how much he hates me and is glad to have gotten rid of me and that I will never make anyone happy and to go find some poor other guy and that I am rotten. He then said he wants nothing to do with me or Ellie (again) find someone else to be her dad and have your proper family and that he isnt fit to be her dad. He has since changed his number.
I feel so hurt as I have NEVER done anything for him to hate me, I have done everything for him and would have died for him, I cant get my head round everything and why he is being to nasty towards me. I know I havent done anything wrong or hurt him in anyway, the relationship has been on egg shells for a long time where I used to make sure I didnt step out of line etc.... which again I know is wrong but I was blinded by everything and I just wanted to be with him.
I sent some of the messages to his mum as she always believe he was her lovely son who couldnt put a foot wrong, i think she was blinded by him too. My mum got mad and rang his mum to ask her to make him put a stop to all the nastyness and I have enough to deal with. His mum said that he doesnt want to be a father and that he never wanted Ellie and that he wanted me to have an abortion and that she was a mistake, there were lots more said that has now made me change my views on his mum.
He wasnt brought up in a proper family environment so he doesnt know what its like, him and his brother speak to his mum like pure sh&t but she takes it because she loves them. She got together with their dad because she was getting on and wanted children, they split and FOB's dad has never got over that fact and for the 5years that I have known him he slagged her off, he used to call her all the names under the sun to my ex and his brother. FOB's mum has been chasing a marrid man ever since they split and its been going on for 25 odd years.......... the marrid man left his wife back end of last year and they are now together. She drinks alot too.
So thats my (very long) story, I have most prob left stuff out but it feels good to let it all out.
I just have this fear of being on my own for the rest of my life now, I know things are early days and I dont even want to meet anyone at this moment, i just want it to be me and Ellie. But I cant help but think, I guess thats normal though right from coming out of a long relationship. I also feel I couldnt trust another man. I guess it will all come in time.
Thankyou for reading if you got this far, well done
feel free to ask any questions.......x
