im new to this, any advice?

[vix1989]

Hi Ladies :wave:

Me and Luke got engaged in July, in the beginning we thought it would be best to have a very long engagement, we both have kids and he has a difficult situation with his phsyco ex.(she basically has made threats if we get married she will stop him seeing his DD but its getting sorted at the mo)

ANYWAY... he told me last weekend he thinks we should have a 3 year time instead of 10
He thinks we should save for a year, see how much we have and start booking things after a year and paying deposits for 2 years ahead then it will be easy to pay for.

We know certain things we want like-

Time of the year (winter)
Theme (think romantic winter woodland)
colours (white and silver)
Venue (think weve decided on the church, its inbetween that or a stylish ceremony somewhere in our town)
We want everything as personal as possible!

anddddd thats about it so far.

Where do we go from here? is it too soon to be planning things?
theres a weddingfayre tomorrow night i want to drag him too, but he thinks it might be too soon (typical man )

any advice?

 

[Mummy May]

Its never too soon! A lot of the best things can get booked up like 2 years+ in advance.
My 1 tip would be to be careful how much detail you tell people - because once you start telling people what you want, they automatically think that they have a say in your wedding. Stick to your guns otherwise you will end up very stressy. Don't try to please everyone - just go with what you and Luke want
This is the only place where people know about my wedding and its details and its really fun planning!
Good Luck and have fun xx

 

[vix1989]

yeah people have already tried!
Luke told his family a certain type of decoration and it turned into them all saying what they think would look nicer and would be best!
He had to say enough in the end!
Luckily we both seem to agree on a lot of things the only thing were not agreeing on is children.
He wants only our children there, but i wouldnt mind kids being there!
Id had an idea to dedicate a little section of the reception for kids, a dressing up box easel that kind of thing just to keep them occupied, but im sure he will agree.
We both have neices and nephews and i wouldnt want to leave them out

 

[Mummy May]

I can't help you there, there's currently a huge debate going on in GC about a lady that's offended her child hasn't been invited to a wedding. Maybe you could compromise and have children in the day but not in the evening? We haven't said no children but I think the people that do have children (our nephews) will get them collected in the evening. There are quite a few threads about it on here if you do a search xx

 

[vix1989]

oh i dont think its a good idea for night time, because kids get cranky and grown ups cant loosen up.
But i think its ok during the day i think OH possibly thought i ment all day and night.

We're definatly going to the wedding fayre tomorrow, what should i expect its our first?

 

[Mummy May]

I've never actually been to one as I've heard that some of the people there are very pushy lol! Plus I didn't have time... we got engaged on Christmas day and I have most of my wedding sorted xx

 

[vix1989]

thats awesome!

yeah ive heard theyre quite pushy! lol ill just hide behind luke hes very assertive! lol
its so annoying we know exactly what we want and where its just the money aspect, we have to save about 4K i think but no more then that....its just getting the money together

 

[Mummy May]

someone bought us one of those pot money boxes with 'wedding fund' on the front and we have been putting mainly £1 and £2 coins in it, but nothing less than a 50p. Can't open it till its full as we have to smash it so that should be good You can also get those tin ones that you need to use a tin opener to open - i find it miles easier if you can't see the money. xx

 

[LDC]

Enjoy the wedding fayre, I loved them. We won an engagement photo shoot and pictures at ours so definitely look out for the competitions! It will just be a lot of stalls with different things from cakes, dresses, cars, photographers etc.

A lot of them will be table decoration people but check what your venue provide first, like ours included the seat sashes for example.

My bit of advice and buying things is go on ebay!! I brought so much stuff off there, like personalised invites and table numbers, a post box for the cards and even my veil (new from china for £5 and I had loads of compliments on it!). You can get pretty much exactly the same as in the shops but for so much cheaper.

I agree with pp and keep the details you give out to a minimal...everyone seems to "rightly" develop an opinion in your big day and its not theirs, it's yours and Luke's so sod them!

I had people making threats because I asked for no children (my own choice) and people threatened not to come. I gave 6 months notice so said I was sorry if they couldn't come if they couldn't arrange childcare in this time...surprisingly they all managed to make it.

I think you have to stick to your guns, as like baby names etc, someone will always dislike something you're planning!

Xx

 

[vix1989]

i plan on being quite strict! lol
i think thats good about the 6 months notice, easy for people to arrange things!
Ebay! of course!! god knows why i didnt think that, ive just looked at veils and fell in love with one....would it be wrong to buy it now even though its gunna be 3 years away? lol

 

[LDC]

i plan on being quite strict! lol
i think thats good about the 6 months notice, easy for people to arrange things!
Ebay! of course!! god knows why i didnt think that, ive just looked at veils and fell in love with one....would it be wrong to buy it now even though its gunna be 3 years away? lol

No way, allows time for postage haha!

I didn't know if I wanted a veil and for the prices I didn't care then if I liked it, wore it or wore it for 10 mins then decided I hated it!

You can get soooo much stuff off there. I even brought my bridesmaid dresses of there (£30 each) and for the three including alterations in a shop it still cost less than £200. One dress shop had the same dresses in for £180 each!

Xx

 

[vix1989]

Oh my god!! im gunna go ebay crazy!
i know i deffo want a veil for sure!! eeeek excited!!

 

[Lauren25]

Aww congratulations on deciding when to get married

I usually say start with the basics, what kind of wedding you want, church, hotel etc.
Do a rough guest list so you can work out the kind of numbers you'll be looking at!
Work out your budget, that will determine a lot of things and then you can work out what to cut back on or what you want to spend more on!

You sound like you know what kind of things you want though/theme etc!

And I deffo agree, eBay is my best friend

 

[lozzy21]

I would have a look but i would not go putting money down as deposits or getting your heart set on a certain cake maker for example. 3 years is a long time for a business, they might close down, go into administration or change hands and what you had your heart set on might not be possible.

 

[lxb]

congratulations~~

definitely agree on wss^^

how much would you and your fiancee want to spend/okay to spend on the wedding? I know you said saving for a year and see how much you guys have. What if you saved 5k a year? 10k? or ?

for us, we list out the most important things for us first and see how much those costs and go from there.

* venue
* guest list -- as food typically took out the biggest chunk of the budget
* flowers (bouquet/decor)

 

[vix1989]

so what would you say is the most important things to money aside for first?
church and reception venue? then dress/suits?

 

[lozzy21]

Ceramony, reception, photographer, dress, rings, suits

Everything else can be done easily on a budget

 

[vix1989]

and if anything fails at least i have the important things sorted!
i like your thinking!
thank you so much ladies my brain feels a little more de-cluttered of lace and silk fog lol

 

[lxb]

o yeah~ definitely agree~

1. venue - ceremony & reception
2. dress/suit/ring - bouquet/boutonniere?
3. photographer

how big you want your wedding to be is a big thing to decide too. some places might not accommodate large group of people.... or some places need a min of certain # of people for a better rate.

 

[Lauren25]

Yea id put a rough guest list high up on the list too, thats what we did then we looked online at sooooo many venues, alot have all the details online for price per head, then you can work out whats within your budget and whats not!!

Get making a journal on here too for all your ideas (i just wanna stalk )