I'm ovulating and my husband said..

[rustyswife828]

So me and my husband are on different shifts. He's on nights and I'm on days.. So it's complicated enough to have our sex life...

Well I am ovulating today and I just sent him a "dirty" text and he told me not to try so hard to get pregnant...

So I'm confused! We had a miscarriage when I was 7 weeks pregnant back in January but he told me he wants to try again..

It's May now and he's told me that we'll try and that he wants kids so I'm so confused about his statement..

If you want me to get pregnant we have to around my "o" day. He just doesn't comprehend that we won't get pregnant this month if we don't "try"

So frustrated!!!!! :

 

[BeachyFeelin]

I totally get it....my OH doesn't get that we need to have sex around certain days or it's pretty much guaranteed not going to happen.

I think women feel much more pressure to conceive than a man does. My OH wants kids but doesn't feel pressured like I do.

I'm CD1 today and already planning out when we can have sex around my fertile time since it falls Memorial Day weekend and we are going camping with a bunch of friends...tent+blow up mattress does NOT equal a very good chance to get it on!

I'm so jealous that the OH doesn't have to stress about all this..really all he has to do is have sex.....how nice :/

 

[erinlynnak]

I'm so sorry! My husband and I have been having this issue, too! He got mad two nights ago because its been my "fertile week" supposedly, so I've been pressuring to bd every night. He was finally like no. You're just trying to have a baby, not have sex, so no. I had to look at it from his shoes, all I talk about is wanting a baby, all I think about is wanting a baby. I reevaluated, and made it all romantic the next night without mention of baby. It worked! Good luck to you and your OH. Babydust to you!!!

 

[baby_rose]

Ughhhhhhhhh! Men o men they suck they ask.us for kids and when we hop on the band wagon they fell "pressured" i get u 100 my bf starts of great after af and then falls out when it most matters hahaha girls sucks but we really gatta do the opks etc on our own time i think it.freaks them out lol well better yet sucks the life out of them, i find myself having to initiate most of the bd when it know its time lol lets not forget to make it iinteresting before i used to show him my opk lines as they got darker and now i keep to my self lol he sometimes asks so u got ur smiley yet? Lol i know hes curious but yes the less they see the better, time to whip out all that fun stuff ladies its not that they dont want too but yes it puts pressure on them too

 

[VGirl]

My husband is very involved in the whole baby making process but he finally told me that the word "ovulation" was a mood killer for him I have to come up with a different approach to make it sound at least a bit sexy!
Good luck, girls!

 

[Mississippi03]

So me and my husband are on different shifts. He's on nights and I'm on days.. So it's complicated enough to have our sex life...

Well I am ovulating today and I just sent him a "dirty" text and he told me not to try so hard to get pregnant...

So I'm confused! We had a miscarriage when I was 7 weeks pregnant back in January but he told me he wants to try again..

It's May now and he's told me that we'll try and that he wants kids so I'm so confused about his statement..

If you want me to get pregnant we have to around my "o" day. He just doesn't comprehend that we won't get pregnant this month if we don't "try"

So frustrated!!!!! :

I hear ya girl. This was me last month. I was trying to leave the baby talk out of it, but every time I tried to initiate he would tell me he was too tired. Then I tried to explain the fertile window thing and was told I put too much pressure on him and made it difficult to perform. Which then turned into him saying I only wanted a baby and didnt actually care about the sex.. Lol

Finally, I took a different approach. He started saying something alobg those lines and I threw on the water works and just sat there and cried infront of him. He started to feel terrible which opened him up to wanting to understand my point of view. He heard me out and started putting in the effort. Needless to say, crying worked lol

This month, no problems thus far. Havent mentioned baby making.. Just initiating and havent hit resistance yet. We shall see tonight though.

Head on over to my journal if you need to chat, I often forget to check threads but am more then happy to support you and chat about this stuff there

 

[Baby.Love12]

So me and my husband are on different shifts. He's on nights and I'm on days.. So it's complicated enough to have our sex life...

Well I am ovulating today and I just sent him a "dirty" text and he told me not to try so hard to get pregnant...

So I'm confused! We had a miscarriage when I was 7 weeks pregnant back in January but he told me he wants to try again..

It's May now and he's told me that we'll try and that he wants kids so I'm so confused about his statement..

If you want me to get pregnant we have to around my "o" day. He just doesn't comprehend that we won't get pregnant this month if we don't "try"

So frustrated!!!!! :

I 100% understand how you feel as I once received the same statement from my fiance. Allow me to give you some sound advice. Men are interesting creatures and although he may WANT a baby he doesnt want to be your sperm factory. Men still need lovemaking to be intimate and not just "oh we are just making a baby". I had a hard time getting mh fiance to want to start ttc and even then he knew when I would try to initiate sex it was because I was ovulating. he just now this cycle actually cooperated with my cycle. I dont know if it is because he is experiencing the same feeling of desperation or what but it took alot of work. My advice to you is that if your husband doesnt want to know anything about your cycle dont say a word. Also make sure you are having sex at other times during your cycle so he doesn't get the feeling of being used. You still have to nurture your marriage through all of this and it is tough. I hope that helps and sometimes you need to have a sit down and talk about it often.

 

[pandi77]

I agree with baby.love.12....men can seem very much into sex but if suddenly becomes a requirement with pressure and a deadline it can become a huge mental road block. I started withholding certain details about where I was in my cycle so he didn't feel quite as much pressure. He knew we were around my fertile period but I tried to shield him from "the big day" so it didn't end up being a big bust lol. Good luck hun!

 

[babyvaughan]

TTC 3 years the first year and half was a breeze then he started being so confusing. Now I have to plan it and space it, and pretend like i'm horny so that he doesn't figure out its because i'm o'ing because as much as he wants to get me pregnant he thinks that it can happen multiple times in the month even though a million times over I explained how it really works. URGH!! His lovely statement is its not like we've really tried? Oh really Mr. just going for an SA next week after i've gone through so much bloodwork, u/s, hsg, a mc, dnc, and a surgery, next is a lap in two weeks.. they just dont get it!

 

[imstacey21]

It's frustrating that they don't understand and can be so relaxed about it but they're right. Obsessing isn't going to help. It is in our best interests to not be so anxious about it.

You don't have to tell him straight out that you're only out to get his load lol. Do things to be more loving to each other so it will come more naturally.

 

[babyvaughan]

Yep they are right but its easy to feel so much pressure, everyone around me is pregnant or just had babies. It's so hard, and he is really supportive of my moment's when I need to talk or cry about waiting to have a baby, he even got teared up last month but we do have to work hard to focus on having fun in our relationship and loving each other that we will be blessed when the time is right. Last month we took a month off, and our sex life improved so much where this month i've been pretty obsessed and I can tell the difference in him! So if i'm out then i'm going to remember this for June!

 

[Zephram]

Haha, I know! Pretty sure I'm ovulating today and my OH Is one off those guys who gets turned off by any ovulation/baby talk, even though he wants to have another kid. Our first baby was a surprise so he really thinks you don't have to 'try' at the right time and it'll just happen since we didn't have to try the first time. It's infuriating!