I'm scared of getting bad news

[Hannurr]

Hello,

My partner and I have been TTC for a few years now, for the first year we decided to just stop using protection and just let it happen 'when it was meant to' but after the first year when nothing seemed to be happening we started taking trying a bit more seriously, using ovulation sticks, taking prenatal vitamins and using conception lube just to get the job done when we weren't in the mood (sorry TMI) I have tweaked my diet slightly to get more foods like watermelon and bananas in and switched from regular tea to peppermint tea because I read that helps. I know that I need to go and see my doctor to make sure everything is okay I'm just so scared in case I get the news I don't want. I don't know how I'll be able to cope, all I have ever wanted is a big family and part of that is me carrying my own and the thought of being told it isn't going to happen is tearing me apart. I keep putting off making an appointment saying to myself we'll just give it one more month, then it's six months down the line and I'm still to scared. After three years it surly must have happened by now and I am terrified of loosing this glimmer of hope that there isn't anything wrong and I will carry my own children. I can't talk to any of my friends about it because they all have children and had no trouble conceiving at all so they don't understand the pain you go though with long term failure.
Logically I know if I go and see the doctor and get checked out the chances are if there is something wrong it could be treatable or there could be pills I could take or things I can do differently to increase my chances it's just the fear holding me back.

I'm not sure what I'm expecting from making this post but I have been a long term reader of this forum and the support network on the website is incomparable to others I have browsed, part of me wants to thank you all for the help you have given me in the past without knowing it but I think after three years its think its time for me to stop suffering alone and reach out.

 

[Goldfish]

welcome to BnB! I know it's scary, and believe me many of us have been in a similar position - but I do hope that you get yourself to the doctor soon. It's possible you might just have a minor problem and it can be easily fixed! Are you getting regular periods? ask the doctor to run some blood tests (CD3 tests for oestrogen, FSH, LH etc and then 7-day post-ovulation tests to check progesterone levels), then go from there. Good luck!

 

[cookette]

Go for it! Its a scary leap, but maybe the outcome isnt as bad as you fear, and like you said perhaps there is a simple solution.

 

[Hatethewait85]

I know the feeling! My hubby and I just kept saying 1 more month and we will go. It was really hard to finally get up the courage to call, but I'm so glad we finally did.

Good luck!

 

[Hannurr]

Yep I have regular periods. I will be brave and make an appointment. Does anybody know what sort of test they might do other than a blood test. I just don't like going in no knowing what to expect.

 

[Hatethewait85]

Yep I have regular periods. I will be brave and make an appointment. Does anybody know what sort of test they might do other than a blood test. I just don't like going in no knowing what to expect.

Well I had a few blood tests ( tsh, prolactin, insulin, dhea, and glucose) To check for causes. They were all normal, so I tried clomid for a few months with no monitoring or anything. When that didn't work I had an hsg, which is a procedure where they look to see if there are any abnormalities with my uterus or any blockages in my Fallopian tubes. When that was normal I was referred to a specialist and they checked my amh. Again normal. With the exception of the hsg everything has been painless.

 

[LoveCakes]

Hi, I have felt exactly the same way and actually gotten the bad news but it is important. I found out something I needed to know about my health anyway but I am better off for it. It's like taking off a plaster, it hurts but once it's over you feel better.

Think of it this way what's worse, more months afraid or an doctors appointment?

They will probably do blood tests on you and send OH for a sperm analysis.

Fingers crossed for you.

 

[YearningHeart]

Hannurr - Hii and welcome to B&B!

I have always loved children and always looked forward to being a mother. I was ready to be a mummy over 5 years ago. Me and husband tried for a child and nothing was happening, it then turned to 4 years and I kept telling myself I should get myself checked out but I was too scared. Eventually close people who I knew became pregnant which really effected me it was after that I decided to make a trip to the GP.

I am so glad I did because I was refereed to the specialist and have been with the specialist over a year. The only thing I regret is why didnt I go to the GP ealier. Its good you made you appointment, Best of luck! Update us what happens.
xx

 

[beaglemom]

I am in the same boat. We were trying for about 4 years then just stopped. I was against IVF & fertility drugs. I said if it's not natural, I don't want it. Well I turned 30 & it became more important. I am still against IVF only because of the cost emotionally & financially. I am supposed to get the hsg & I am actually excited. There is a chance the scan actually clears up your tubes & pregnancy can happen with in 3 months. It is used to check for blocks, but there is a lot of people who get pregnant after. Unfortunately, I got all excited, but then my period was late, so I may not get the scan this month because of being out of town. I am still going to try to squeeze it in, but super bummed about it.

I too have very normal cycles & have never had any medical issues. Period has only been off a few times in my life.

Good luck to you...I know how scary it can be. Sometimes it seems easier to get a negative every month, but keep hope rather than ge4t told it is not possible.

 

[JJKCB]

you never know how simple you problem may be

I always remember one story (an extreme case and I doubt whats wrong with any of us lol) where a young foreign couple who had been selected for arranged marriage had been trying for over 2 years when they went to see the doctor

after asking 100s of questions and running dozens of tests they couldn't find anything wrong so they went back and asked more questions

eventually someone finally asked the most obvious question ever 'do you have sex vaginally' to which they looked confused... they thought you got pregnant through the belly button so he had been rubbing his willy on that instead lol

after having it explained correctly they went away and 3 months later fell pregnant

good luck, I hope its something fixable for you

 

[YearningHeart]

JJK -OMG that made me laugh so much. The couple probably laugh about it now. Hahahahaha

 

[JenniferS92]

Hey
Its been a while since ive even come onto B&B forum and then i come across your post. Ive been trying for 3 years with my OH ... first started just not using contraception just like yourself and if it happened it happened, but then my friends starting having children and i became fustrated but i know the most important thing is not to stress and fret so we still hung out with out friends and their children and then when they began to have second children i did start to fret but ive always been scared of the doctors reactions because both me and my OH are 21 but we are childhood sweethearts and have been on and off for almost 10 years!! so having children together when we got together being two 18 year old's was a no brainer really.

but 3 years later not even a glimmer of hope and would the doc say were too young or that we shouldn't be having any problems. I have since been diagnosed with depressions although they wont name a form of depression its just general according to them. now i feel like id be looked down on because i have depression and want a child so i'm at a loss what to do with myself, i know partly my head is messed because i spend time worrying over not having children ever.

I am overweight and have been dieting and excersing to help that issue as i know some people cant conceive if they carry weight but the weights not shifting and i'm giving up on that!

also a year and a half into trying we decided that we would stop trying altogether and possibly leave it until a later date (maybe we were trying at the wrong time) so i got the implant and this messed me up, this is also around the time the depression started. for 6 months solid i had not one period sorry tmi!! and then after realizing that i started to go downhill mentally after the implant i had it taken out and 3 days later i got my first period and every month it was on time and we attempted children again!!

so im still stuck in the wanting to be a mommy boat and the trip is just taking too long!!

i feel your pain and understand what you are all experiencing. do i go the docs or do i keep wondering??? (also OH thinks its him that's the 'problem' and is scared to be tested)

 

[Hannurr]

Thank you for all your messages. JJKCB you have no idea how much that story made me chuckle :-D

Sorry for not updating, I know how annoying it is when people go quiet after reaching out.

I spoke to my partner again about going to the doctor and we are both going to make an appointment soon. Just in the TWW at the moment and we have our fingers crossed for one millionth time lucky but we've promised each other that after this cycle there will be no more 'just one more goes'

 

[peachaeo]

Good luck! I was SO scared when I went in for my test results, but trust me, there is nothing like getting some scientific data and a "plan" to make you feel like you're back in charge. The worst part of I,F in my opinion, is the feeling of complete and utter helplessness you get from it....like you literally can't do anything about it except have sex and then cross your fingers. But going to an RE gives you a little power