I'm SO Annoyed.

[Baby-Love]

I was kind of bored and alert..Kaida is sleeping, which is lovely.
Anyway, I thought I'd venture into a Parenting chat room.
I was casually making comments and mentioning how Kaida likes to be attached to me and my breasts most of the day, and how she won't accept a bottle, or a pacifier.

I get bombarded with "Oh.. she's spoiled" "You shouldn't spoil her, it's a huge mistake."

I mention she's only 6 weeks old and I have been told by many PROFESSIONALS that newborns can't be spoiled, and that she just needs me near.
I'm all she knows. She's used to me being with her 24/7 and food was always on tap for her..she never needed to ask for food.

To which they all laugh..."Is this your first one? Well the doctors and the others are talking rubbish. She's spoiled and she's running the show. You need to show her who is boss."

Then they suggest I should allow her to cry for 10-15 minutes, to which I blatantly refuse to do.
I am not going to subject my little one to cry so much she holds her breath( which she does).
THEN I was told..
" Oh, it's ok..if she holds her breath and passes out, her brain will kick in and she'll soon wake up."
WHAT THE HELL?!
I'm not going to do that.. That's abuse in my eyes. Why would anyone willing sit there and allow their baby cry to a point they pass out and feel it's good parenting?

Whether they bitch that she's spoiled or not..I am going to respond to my baby crying, regardless of how much it's making me feel like crying, too. The previous statement was coming from a 'Child Minder'.. She bragged she's looked after 50 children, well I am glad my child isn't one of them. I've never been so appalled.

If it means my little girl will be a spoiled madam in the future, I don't care. She's mine and mine to love..not to neglect.

Ok.. rant over.​

 

[codegirl]

I agree with you that a 6 week old can't be spoilt. Just ignore them, your the mom and you know what's right for you and yours.

As for the holding of the breath, my brother did that twice (he was way older than 6 weeks at the time). The first time my mom let him pass out, the second time she splashed him with a glass of water. He never threw a tantrim like that again!

 

[Baby-Love]

Well..I panic enough if she's breathing as it is, especially with SID's.
No way will I let her cry to the point she passes out.
What would she think? She's learning to put trust and emotional support in me.
If I just let her cry to the point she has no control, well, she'll think Mummy isn't going to be there for her. She may end up not trusting or counting on me for her needs.
That would be heart breaking.

 

[codegirl]

I totally agree... my brother (in my above story) was 2 years old or there abouts. I just thought it was funny.

As for your situation right now, I think your doing a splended job and Kaida will grow up secure and loved. What else could a parent want. Good job!!

 

[Baby-Love]

Thanks!

 

[Samantha675]

That is crazy, I am the same way when it comes to my baby. I will do what I like. My father tries to tell me the same that I am 'spoiling' him. Ok, well so what if I am!

 

[Baby-Love]

That is crazy, I am the same way when it comes to my baby. I will do what I like. My father tries to tell me the same that I am 'spoiling' him. Ok, well so what if I am!

HERE-HERE

 

[Freya]

Ok, so I'm not a mum yet.... but from ehat I've been told and from what I've read there is nothing wrong with what you're doing! Bless her, she's only 6 weeks old....... if she ever develops into being a little too 'clingy' in a good few months, and you feel it's not good for her.... then you can try some subtle methods then.

Good grief, I hope Victorian style 1800's style parenting isn't making a come back!

xxxx

 

[marley2580]

I was told by a child psycologist today that it is totally normal for babies to go through a clingy phase around 8-9 months - that's when they start to realise that they are separate from their mum.

 

[Baby-Love]

I was told by a child psycologist today that it is totally normal for babies to go through a clingy phase around 8-9 months - that's when they start to realise that they are separate from their mum.

Interesting.

 

[Baby-Love]

Ok, so I'm not a mum yet.... but from ehat I've been told and from what I've read there is nothing wrong with what you're doing! Bless her, she's only 6 weeks old....... if she ever develops into being a little too 'clingy' in a good few months, and you feel it's not good for her.... then you can try some subtle methods then.

Good grief, I hope Victorian style 1800's style parenting isn't making a come back!

xxxx

Not in my house..lol

 

[clairebear]

omg

u cannot spoil a newborn baby. that is ridiculas. u are right to be cross. i would be to.
i give jack the breast whenever he wants it x

 

[Baby-Love]

Thanks.

 

[1st_baby]

Thats some heartless people you chatted with lol

There is no such thing as spoiling your baby that young lol mine is 3 months and he gets whats he wants if he wnats the boob he will get it

when he cried i wait i see what kind of cry it is ive learned what his cries mean now ..but even then he dosent cry for more then 2 min ..

cray people outthere lol

 

[ryder]

Definately some crazy, insensitive people out there...

Everyone has different parenting styles, and while you cant spoil a newborn, from the day they are born they are learning independance. But there is a time and a place for encouraging independance too.

 

[brownhairedmom]

Yes, I can see the day when I let my child cry for 15 minutes before I feed her, or let her cry so much she passes out before I do so. Where do these people come from??

 

[Baby-Love]

Yes, I can see the day when I let my child cry for 15 minutes before I feed her, or let her cry so much she passes out before I do so. Where do these people come from??

Abuseville.

 

[Ratty]

What I can't understand is how do you put up with the noise of the baby screaming for 15 minutes, I'd go insane.

A 6 week old baby doesn't cry because they are being naughty, they cry because something is wrong. How can fixing whatever is wrong be considered as spoiling a baby. Sorry, but I'm not into letting my baby suffer.

 

[Hevz]

What I can't understand is how do you put up with the noise of the baby screaming for 15 minutes, I'd go insane.

Turn some music on....loud ....just kidding.


You have to do what's right for you and your baby....all the things mentioned may work for that individual but we all feel slightly different about methods of feeding, parenting etc. If I get lots of "advice" then I just read it all....ignore what I don't like the sound of and try the stuff that sounds good to me


Good luck chick

 

[tinytoes]

i agree they cant be spoiled.

But that said, my doc advised me the other day that its OK to leave baby to cry for 10 minutes, that he needs to learn to calm himself (he does take the dummy / pacifier but doesnt much like it, the only thing he likes a lot os the nipple!) and so I should give him his dummy and lay him in a calm darkened room and give him quiet "him" time. She says they need quiet time on their own.

I havent brought myself to do it yet....