I'm so irritated! ~no judgement please~

[cowboys angel]

My SD (7 years old) had a friend over last night. We live in an apartment building, on the third floor. They wanted to go outside and play, and the baby was sleeping, so I told them to go ahead, they could go outside and play, but the rules were:

~away from the road, not past the picnic table (which is 20 feet from the road)
~out of the parkinglot
~stay on the grass or the sidewalk by the building and the porch

I would be watching, if they broke any of the rules they would come sit and do nothing.

They agreed, so I let them go. SD is very good about following rules, and I knew she would behave and keep her friend in check (or would yell for me, as our window is right over the yard they would be in.)

I had the window open, was watching/listening.

SD came running back upstairs and said "Momma the lady that lives next door says she doesn't think it's a good idea for us to be playing outside alone so she's going to watch us."

So I grabbed the baby, put her in a carrier, and went downstairs. The neighbor goes "Now I don't think that was a good idea, do you? You gotta always be watching kids. I never would have let them be out here alone."

I said "For your information I was watching, and I don't need you to tell me how to take care of my children."

The girls kept playing, and I stayed out there. Then the neighbor tells my SD she needs to share or they can't play, when my SD wasn't in the wrong. Her friend snatched the toy from her hands. I told Evie she was fine, and told her friend to ask first. The neighbor goes "She needs to share." THIS WASN'T EVEN HER KID PLAYING WITH SD!!!

I told Evie "I'm the mommy, you listen to me." Evie said okay, and the girls went back to playing, no problem.

The neighbor stomped up the stairs and left us alone.

Did I handle this okay? I'm so irritated that she thinks she can butt in like that. I appreciate that at first, she was probably just concerned for their safety, but I was mad at how she handled it. I live right next to her, (plus she couldn't have seen the girls from her apartment so...?) she could have come and asked me if I wanted her to watch them or something...

I dunno. I'm just irritated. Just cuz I'm only 19 doesn't mean I'm a bad mommy....

 

[silver_penny]

I think you handled it fabulously. I honestly would have told the lady to stuff it and leave. You showed much more tact than I ever would have.

 

[Lucy22]

You were much more polite than I would have been, you handled that really well

 

[cowboys angel]

Okay thanks...I was so irritated...

 

[Mzladyk]

Her intentions may have been good but her approach was totally out of line. You handled the situation a lot better than I would have.

 

[cowboys angel]

I want to believe she had good intentions....but I don't trust her. She goes to a methadone clinic frequently, and is super touchy feely and just overall freaks me out.

 

[~RedLily~]

I think you handled it really well. She may have had good intentions but no need to be so patronising.

 

[Heather9603]

Okay I can see with being concerned that you were not watching the kids as she could not see that you could see them from your window. But once she realized you could see them, why she continued to sit out there is rude. AND even when you came outside, she should have gone in.

I mean granted it is public property and she had a right to sit outside.....but she had no right to try and parent for you!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I think you were very calm and straightforward. It's your SD and you were watching them. Seven is perfectly old enough to follow rules about playing outside. It was good of your SD to come and tell you the neighbor was trying to tell them what to do.

 

[cowboys angel]

I think you were very calm and straightforward. It's your SD and you were watching them. Seven is perfectly old enough to follow rules about playing outside. It was good of your SD to come and tell you the neighbor was trying to tell them what to do.

Yeah, she's a good girl. I think she knows that mommy and daddy don't like her, cuz every time the neighbor tries to talk to her she gets all quiet and runs off to go play. Haha. We never said anything bad about the neighbor, never said we don't like her around SD, but she seems to have figured it out. Either that or she doesn't like her either.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I think you were very calm and straightforward. It's your SD and you were watching them. Seven is perfectly old enough to follow rules about playing outside. It was good of your SD to come and tell you the neighbor was trying to tell them what to do.

Yeah, she's a good girl. I think she knows that mommy and daddy don't like her, cuz every time the neighbor tries to talk to her she gets all quiet and runs off to go play. Haha. We never said anything bad about the neighbor, never said we don't like her around SD, but she seems to have figured it out. Either that or she doesn't like her either.

She probably senses it from you and your other half. She sounds like a smart cookie

 

[cowboys angel]

I think you were very calm and straightforward. It's your SD and you were watching them. Seven is perfectly old enough to follow rules about playing outside. It was good of your SD to come and tell you the neighbor was trying to tell them what to do.

Yeah, she's a good girl. I think she knows that mommy and daddy don't like her, cuz every time the neighbor tries to talk to her she gets all quiet and runs off to go play. Haha. We never said anything bad about the neighbor, never said we don't like her around SD, but she seems to have figured it out. Either that or she doesn't like her either.

She probably senses it from you and your other half. She sounds like a smart cookie

She is very smart. It's kinda sad that both me and my OH quite often lose logical arguements to a 7 year old... Usually when we "win" it's because we say "I'm the mommy/daddy and I say so, now that's enough."