Im so sick of this!

[lindseyry]

Sitting here cramping and bleeding after yet another chemical. That makes four in eleven cycles ttc.
Where Im so grateful they happen so early but on the other hand, any symptom I feel in the tww scares me. I dont poas - for the fear of seeing the second line lighter than it was the day before.
When ttc ds, who is now 4 - the first cycle ended in a chemical. On a whim, I took low dose aspirin the next cycle. I conceived again and carried to term.
I dont know if there was a connection or not.
This go round, weve been ttc for 8 cycles, three chemicals. My insurance doesnt cover fertility, so Im left to figure this out on my own. Ive figured I may have a LPD, as my LP has gone from 14 days (years ago) to 11 or 12 days now. I also have LP spotting and dropping temps 3 or 4 days before af.

I can get pregnant - ovulation and conception is not the problem - I just cant STAY pregnant.

Ive been charting bbt off and on for 8 years, I dont drink, I dont smoke, Im a good mom. Where my ex sister in law has given birth to 8 kids and has lost custody of 7 of them. She's claiming to be pregnant again after having a tubal. Really???

Im sick of all the pregnant girls all over town. Im sick of people asking when Im going to have another one. Im sick of reading boards where girls who are on cycle #1 are crying for hours at a time because they get a bfn - I dont even cry any more. And Im really really sick of people asking for advise on how to get pregnant. Friends and family come to me ALL the time - emails, phone callse, facebook etc asking how to chart bbt because they know I know alot about fertility. Yea, I wish I didnt know anything about fertility!

But, I keep trucking along. I will continue waking up to temp bbt. I will continue to take pills and vitamins and I will continue to pee on random items - opks, hpts - my hand! I will keep doing it all because I know when Im holding her in my arms - it will make it all worth it.

 

[Halley]

Oh honey
I'm not going to pretend that I know what you're going through because I don't! But you're right it'll all be worth it when you've got your beautiful baby. Wishing you a speedy, sticky BFP!!

 

[Lucina]

Im so sorry you are going through this. I have just had my second mc in space of two months and its just so heatbreaking, feel like I will never make it to the six week mark! Its hard to keep going in the face of that and I have taken some time out ttc at moment to give myself time to clear my head. Wishing you a nice sticky for next time

 

[vickyd]

Im so sorry you are going through this....I have a freiend who also went through many chemical pregnancies and she started to take baby aspirin, bitamin B6 +B12 and also progesterone. I dont know what of the three (or all together) helped but she just gave birth to a beutiful girl.
Please dont loose hope hun!

 

[lindseyry]

Thanks guys! To make matters worse - as soon as I signed off of here and onto facebook - I see where a girl has posted shes preggo by "accident" while she, her husband and two year old all live with her mother. Arg!

Oh well, on another note - I was doing some research earlier and found that apparently blood clotting disorders are connected to preeclampsia that results in unexpected low birth weight babies. Apparently, a clotting disorder causes issues with the placenta therefore causes high blood pressure in mom and low birth weight in baby.

Long story short - first cycle ttc ds - chemical. The very next cycle I took low dose aspirin, conceived ds and stopped taking the aspirin, thinking I was in the clear. Later on was diagnosed with preeclampsia and although he was expected to be over 10 pounds, ds was only 6.5.

This go round, seven more cycles ttc and three more chemicals. I have not taken any supplements in any of these cycles (other than prenatal).
I am doing more research, but doesn't it seem like there's a connection here? Maybe, just maybe I have a mild clotting disorder that could not only cause a problem in implantation but could have also been part of the cause of the pre eclampsia?

Im going in next week for some testing to be run. For what I understand, depending on the severity of the issue, the low dose aspirin isn't enough and heparin must be used through out the pregnancy. If that's the case, at least Ill know the reason and can go on to fix this problem!

 

[lindseyry]

VickyD - That's exactly the same protocol Ive put myself on - Low dose aspirin, a B complex, progesterone cream and cranberry (to help in conceiving a girl). Lets hope it works for both of us!

Thanks so much guys!

 

[Lucina]

Good luck with the test, hope you get some answers

 

[Vickieh1981]

I'm sorry you are going through this. It's hard to have one loss but more than one really makes you questions your ability to have another baby.

I lost one at just under 5 weeks last year and then fell with Isabella who died early in the second trimester and had to be delivered.

I had four cycles after that and was starting to think I would not fall again but got my bfp acouple of days ago.

The innocence of pg is gone once you have lost though. I can't let myself think i'll get a baby from this pg.