"I'm too ill to visit"...

[Snowball]

Bollocks...

I'm sorry but some twatty, absent by choice fathers totally take the piss. My FOB being one of them.

The past 14 months I've been there for the kids, been ill, even had to discharge myself from hospital when I was being rehydrated whilst pg with Louie to be there for them. I'm always there. He has flitted in and out, caused rows, just done what he wants really. He doesn't see that what he does is a joke of an effort, he literally just wants the life of a singleton back and sod everything else.

FOB was supposed to be 'visiting' this morning, just to prove that he's still alive. I even contemplated a few drinks last night but opted out because he's not reliable. Spotted on FB aswell that his mum had company and knew he'd want to hang around for a socialise.

So I got up this morning barraged by texts about how ill he is . Once again I had to let the kids down on his behalf. He said he'd come if I was going to be pissed off about it but tbh by then the damage had been done and seeing him would have been even more detrimental so I said no.

Oh to live a life where you can avoid seeing your 4 kids because you feel a bit under the weather. I still chuckle over all the reasons he gave ME for why we couldn't be together when a simple sum up of "I'm a lazy shit and would rather live like a child myself than bring my own up" would have explained it clearly.

Rant over

 

[Crumbsx]

I know what you mean, I HATE it when they say that. It's a pathetic excuse, because as you said we don't have an option, we look after our children no matter how ill or crap we feel because that's what parents do. Clearly these 'dads' aren't real dads.

 

[LTEx]

waste of oxygen he sounds! Hate people like that!!!

My LO's dad once had jayden at his house after we arranged he could have him for 4 hours. 45 mins had passed & he text asking me to pick jayden up cos he 'had a headache' .. A HEADACHE!!! Jayden has given me a headache ever since he hit terrible 2's yet i dont ask someone to have him!!

Your kids are worth a hundred of him love they'll soon realise what he's like & it'll be his loss people like that dont deserve kids full stop xx

 

[Rhio92]

He's a twat Seems like your kids are better off without him x

 

[AbbynChloe]

grrrrr what is it with them. honestly I wonder how they can truly justify their behaviour.... "i'm sorry i'm just not ready to be a father" hmmm well NEWSFLASH ASSWIPES you ARE fathers YOU HAVE children and children NEED both parents.

grrrrr i'm so so angry tonight aaarrrgggghhhhhh

 

[teal]

It doesn't really surprise me anymore how selfish some of these so-called men can be.

xx

 

[Snowball]

I just can't get past it with some men. If I acted that way I wouldn't be able to sleep at night, I really wouldn't

Apparently he was stuck on the toilet all morning . I'll stick him on the toilet... with a bloody plunger on his head and ram him down round the u-bend the snivelling little turd.

It's bloody ridiculous, how do they think fulltime parents cope?!... . Miraculously he recovered enough to go to work in the afternoon, quickest recovery ever I think. He's so lucky

He bloody needs castrating incase he ever considers bringing anymore children into the world purely to ignore so he can have a bit of freedom. Twat.

 

[krissy1984]

what a sad excuse for a father, you are doing an amazing job on your own, How were the kids yesterday? Its horrible when they let the children down, as its so hard to explain to children why daddy doesn't put them first xxx

 

[Snowball]

what a sad excuse for a father, you are doing an amazing job on your own, How were the kids yesterday? Its horrible when they let the children down, as its so hard to explain to children why daddy doesn't put them first xxx

They were fine about it, they are well used to it now. It's sad because he's been through a period this month of not coming and yesterday was the first time he would have seen the older two (4 & 5) home from school. Saying that, he doesn't do an awful lot with them when he is here so I suppose in the long run the only difference it made was extra space on the sofa.

It's not so much that I'm angry because I'm surprised, more because I just cannot fathom how someone can justify it when they have 4 children under 6 years old. He wracked me with guilt over him leaving, saying what an awful person I was etc and he couldn't bare to live with me for a second longer... But surely, if you are so miserable leaving is the only option you have... Why would you then make zero effort with your kids?!. Louie's not even 6 months yet and already he cries whenever he holds him because he sees him so little... He just cannot be bothered. To me that says him leaving was less about me and all about him?

 

[krissy1984]

To me him leaving is all about him, nothing to do with you so please try not to listen to anything he says. If he was that miserable he could have left and still seen the children, you haven't stopped him, he has just choose not too, and that is so awful and hard to understand. I don't get how anyone could choose not to see their children, I don't think most people could.

That makes me feel so sad that the kids are fine with it because they're used to it. That should make him feel so horrible too But on the bright side, you have 4 beautiful and wonderful children that you can take credit for, hes not helping make them the children they are today, that is you and you are doing so well, never let him make you feel bad. xx

 

[Snowball]

He did tell me at new year that he'd done some reflecting and wanted to have 'more structured days out' with the kids as he didn't do any with them last year... But IMO it's not all about that is it?

I honestly think he thinks he does his best given the circumstances but doesn't see that what he should have been doing since his affair came out a year ago was to rebuild some sort of trust, not lapse his parenting skills even further. It's like the thing where they say if you don't want to do a job, do it badly... That's how he comes across when it comes to the kids . He says I don't let him have them out the house but he can't demonstrate he can cope in the house so of course I wouldn't let him take them on his own. Plus the older two are temperamental with him and the youngest doesn't have a clue who he is... 1 out of 4 who trust him isn't good is it?

I have stopped blaming myself, I know I didn't contribute to him leaving, he did it all himself. He have a void of putting others needs above his own. It's beyond selfish especially when kids are involved

 

[AbbynChloe]

 

[hopefully85]

my fob didn't show up because he dropped his iphone ......

 

[Rhio92]

my fob didn't show up because he dropped his iphone ......

What a twat!