MaybeMomSarah
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Hi all,
So I need some thoughts. This may be long-ish.
My OH and I have been together for 9 years, married for almost 4. Her parents have never been supportive of the relationship from day one. When we started trying to have a baby last year, we told them. At the time, they said they would never recognize the baby as their grandchild (as I'm the one carrying), that it's unfair to the child to raise them in a same-sex relationship, and we were being selfish. OH was completely devistated, but I really didn't expect any less from them and tried to support my wife. We didn't discuss it with her parents again.
When I did get pregnant, we told them right away. Again, same reaction. They actually said that this was the biggest mistake we have ever made in our lives, and went onto saying some rather insulting things.
OH brought my first scan pic for them to see, hoping that maybe they would show some interest. Suddenly things had changed. They went from completely being against everything to wanting to be involved, buying the baby things, and asking how I was doing (after not really caring about my well being for 9 years). OH was thrilled, I was skeptical.
A few weeks later, we found out why there was a "change of heart"- OH's brother's girlfriend was pregnant as well. They're going to have two grandchildren within 4 weeks of eachother.
My OH and I are of two different minds about this. She thinks it's great, everything is the way it should be with her parents "supporting" us, and happy for them to be involved. I'm the complete opposite. I think it's all a front, since they can't be seen to supporting one child and not the other (they are very concerned about how they are perceived in the village we live in - half the reason they never supported our relationship). I don't believe they feel any different at all, and I am still very concerned about our LO being exposed to family members who do not support us and accepting of him. I just keep hearing my MIL saying to us "This is the worst mistake you've ever made." Honestly, I'd almost rather them still be rejecting us and the baby so I'm not confused and I know that their feelings are genuine.
They've never apologized, never recognized what they have said was hurtful - in fact they've never even acknowledged it was said. Should I expect some kind of apology? Something to show me that this is a true turn around and not just fake? Or should I just be happy that they have seemingly changed their minds?
So I need some thoughts. This may be long-ish.
My OH and I have been together for 9 years, married for almost 4. Her parents have never been supportive of the relationship from day one. When we started trying to have a baby last year, we told them. At the time, they said they would never recognize the baby as their grandchild (as I'm the one carrying), that it's unfair to the child to raise them in a same-sex relationship, and we were being selfish. OH was completely devistated, but I really didn't expect any less from them and tried to support my wife. We didn't discuss it with her parents again.
When I did get pregnant, we told them right away. Again, same reaction. They actually said that this was the biggest mistake we have ever made in our lives, and went onto saying some rather insulting things.
OH brought my first scan pic for them to see, hoping that maybe they would show some interest. Suddenly things had changed. They went from completely being against everything to wanting to be involved, buying the baby things, and asking how I was doing (after not really caring about my well being for 9 years). OH was thrilled, I was skeptical.
A few weeks later, we found out why there was a "change of heart"- OH's brother's girlfriend was pregnant as well. They're going to have two grandchildren within 4 weeks of eachother.
My OH and I are of two different minds about this. She thinks it's great, everything is the way it should be with her parents "supporting" us, and happy for them to be involved. I'm the complete opposite. I think it's all a front, since they can't be seen to supporting one child and not the other (they are very concerned about how they are perceived in the village we live in - half the reason they never supported our relationship). I don't believe they feel any different at all, and I am still very concerned about our LO being exposed to family members who do not support us and accepting of him. I just keep hearing my MIL saying to us "This is the worst mistake you've ever made." Honestly, I'd almost rather them still be rejecting us and the baby so I'm not confused and I know that their feelings are genuine.
They've never apologized, never recognized what they have said was hurtful - in fact they've never even acknowledged it was said. Should I expect some kind of apology? Something to show me that this is a true turn around and not just fake? Or should I just be happy that they have seemingly changed their minds?