Hi All,
Apologies in advance for this essay but I would really love some support and advice.
I moved in with my partner's parents last year so we could save for a house and it's all been going well. I just found out a few days ago that I've fallen pregnant. My parents are overjoyed, his not so much. His mum gave us the silent treatment the day after then sat us down the next day and accused us of purposely trying to get pregnant, setting a bad standard for younger siblings, messing up the plan they had for us (save, buy a house, get married before having children). This was not in our plan at all....I would have preferred to at least own a house first before even thinking about having children but it hasn't happened that way and u feel like we're being punished for it and I feel ashamed and embarrassed of the fact that I'm pregnant. We're 27 years old (we both have good jobs, have been to uni) and somehow feel like even if we had decided to actively start trying that we have the right to make that decision as two adults and shouldn't be made to feel like we've done something so horribly wrong because we havent stuck with the agenda they had for us. I understand it comes from a good place, but we're not kids and we're not in school and we're not going to be living in poverty. I was so happy at first (I'd been told by my gyno a while back that I may have problems) so I was overjoyed and a little relieved that I could fall. I cant stop crying about how all this has gone. It's supposed to be a happy time and we're never going to get this time back and it's been filled with shame, anxiety and tears. I can't remember the last time I cried like I have the last few days. I'm so angry and hurt, it's done, it can't be changed and I don't understand why this has to go on. I'm terrified we will be ostracised, our child will be or that we'll have a massive falling out because we won't so what his parents want us to do (if we can't buy a house before I give birth they want us to stay, rather than rent). I can't have a baby in my laws house! I need us to have privacy and make decisions as parents. I just don't feel like we've done this terrible thing, it can't be that terrible can it?? Any advice would be so appreciated most of my friends and family live far away xx
Apologies in advance for this essay but I would really love some support and advice.
I moved in with my partner's parents last year so we could save for a house and it's all been going well. I just found out a few days ago that I've fallen pregnant. My parents are overjoyed, his not so much. His mum gave us the silent treatment the day after then sat us down the next day and accused us of purposely trying to get pregnant, setting a bad standard for younger siblings, messing up the plan they had for us (save, buy a house, get married before having children). This was not in our plan at all....I would have preferred to at least own a house first before even thinking about having children but it hasn't happened that way and u feel like we're being punished for it and I feel ashamed and embarrassed of the fact that I'm pregnant. We're 27 years old (we both have good jobs, have been to uni) and somehow feel like even if we had decided to actively start trying that we have the right to make that decision as two adults and shouldn't be made to feel like we've done something so horribly wrong because we havent stuck with the agenda they had for us. I understand it comes from a good place, but we're not kids and we're not in school and we're not going to be living in poverty. I was so happy at first (I'd been told by my gyno a while back that I may have problems) so I was overjoyed and a little relieved that I could fall. I cant stop crying about how all this has gone. It's supposed to be a happy time and we're never going to get this time back and it's been filled with shame, anxiety and tears. I can't remember the last time I cried like I have the last few days. I'm so angry and hurt, it's done, it can't be changed and I don't understand why this has to go on. I'm terrified we will be ostracised, our child will be or that we'll have a massive falling out because we won't so what his parents want us to do (if we can't buy a house before I give birth they want us to stay, rather than rent). I can't have a baby in my laws house! I need us to have privacy and make decisions as parents. I just don't feel like we've done this terrible thing, it can't be that terrible can it?? Any advice would be so appreciated most of my friends and family live far away xx
It will be completely their loss if they have an issue with anything you decide. Enjoy being pregnant and don't let others take away from that. Congratulations!!! How exciting for you 
