In limbo about what i want now... rant... plz no R&R

[cbass929]

Ok this might all sound crazy, and sorry if it gets long...
I just had a mc the beginning of December, which was horribly hard on me. I did everything by the book from day one of trying. The date meant a lot, the due date was perfect, it just all seemed to perfect, but i guess it wasn't. It was only our first time trying, but 2nd mc. We have 2 other children 6 and 3.

Is it normal to go back and forth about weather you want to try again? At first i didn't and my hubby did as soon as we could. Then i kind of did and he didn't. Now i have no idea if i want to or not... I think about the pros and cons... I don't have to buy diapers, pullups nothing like that. My kids are on the road to doing everything alone. Hoping that once my daughter gets in school (1.5 to go) i will get my RN and work full time. But then i think i would love to have another baby, i was so wrapped up into having another one i couldn't picture us without a 3rd child.

But i just really don't know. How long does it take to get over that?

Right now we have gotten back to our very active sex life(couple times a day, sorry tmi). Although i'm not on BC and we are not using condoms, (we have always used the "pull out" method, didn't work so well with my first 2, hehe. But we have been doing this since about a year after have my daughter who is going on 4. We always said we wanted a planned pregnancy, but i almost rather it just happen and after the hard part has passed i will find out...

AHHAAA what to do... i mean i know its nothing that needs to be made up anytime soon and i can take as long as i need, but its constantly in my head, EVERYDAY! I think i'm driving my husband crazy talking about it, but if i don't let it out i'm going to drive myself crazy!!

Please tell me i'm not alone... this might be the wrong place for this kind of rant, but i'm NTNP??!!

Thanks laddies

 

[LDC]

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Don't be too hard on yourself though, remember all you've been through, it would seem completely normal for you to feel confused and a bit up and down. There is going to be a lot of worry there and by the sounds of it, having another mc is a huge concern of yours.

Take your time and do what you and your partner think is best and try not to think about things too much. Pull together and make the decision together - its likely that you're both worried about the same thing and you can talk about this together

 

[cbass929]

I was having a bit of a hard time that. I tend to think on things sometimes a little to much and the. I have all this stuff going through my mind. I think I know what we need to do for right now, and it obviously is still very new to me and I'm not over my mc. Plus really we have a few things we really need to get in order before I would feel better financially about having another baby. So maybe it will work out.

But I'm ok at the moment. Clear mind on things, still hurt and it's sinking in a little more now that af arrived yesterday.

 

[LDC]

I believe everything happens for a reason and when the time is right for both of you it will happen. Just remember that it may take a while to come to terms with and cope with your mc so don't be hard on yourself, you seem to have a focus on what you want so maybe go with that. Wishing you lots of luck x

 

[threemakefive]

Ok this might all sound crazy, and sorry if it gets long...
I just had a mc the beginning of December, which was horribly hard on me. I did everything by the book from day one of trying. The date meant a lot, the due date was perfect, it just all seemed to perfect, but i guess it wasn't. It was only our first time trying, but 2nd mc. We have 2 other children 6 and 3.

Is it normal to go back and forth about weather you want to try again? At first i didn't and my hubby did as soon as we could. Then i kind of did and he didn't. Now i have no idea if i want to or not... I think about the pros and cons... I don't have to buy diapers, pullups nothing like that. My kids are on the road to doing everything alone. Hoping that once my daughter gets in school (1.5 to go) i will get my RN and work full time. But then i think i would love to have another baby, i was so wrapped up into having another one i couldn't picture us without a 3rd child.

But i just really don't know. How long does it take to get over that?


Right now we have gotten back to our very active sex life(couple times a day, sorry tmi). Although i'm not on BC and we are not using condoms, (we have always used the "pull out" method, didn't work so well with my first 2, hehe. But we have been doing this since about a year after have my daughter who is going on 4. We always said we wanted a planned pregnancy, but i almost rather it just happen and after the hard part has passed i will find out...

AHHAAA what to do... i mean i know its nothing that needs to be made up anytime soon and i can take as long as i need, but its constantly in my head, EVERYDAY! I think i'm driving my husband crazy talking about it, but if i don't let it out i'm going to drive myself crazy!!

Please tell me i'm not alone... this might be the wrong place for this kind of rant, but i'm NTNP??!!

Thanks laddies

I COULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS POST!! 6 year old, 4 year old, this was our 3rd, had mc in beg dec. , not sure if I want one or not, like the idea of no diapers now lol but I can't imagine myself without a thrird one after preparing for the one we lost....I have just decided to let it happen if its going to...so we are NTNP but I just wanted you to know you are not alone!!! I am in the same boat as you.

 

[Lil_Apple]

Firstly, Im so sorry for your loss

Secondly, Im very jealous of your twice a day habit ) I wish DH and I could fit in once a day sometimes

We lost a baby in between being blesssed with our 2 sons and I knew I wanted two babies, DH always wanted 3 as he is 1 of 3, but I didnt think I could do it again for the worry. I knew I wanted the baby but was unsure about all the worry etc that comes with it. Also as you have said about going back to work and in our case the extra money that would bring would be great. I had to think long and hard about what 'we' wanted as a couple and what 'I' wanted as a woman and mother and I thought that in 50 years time would I regret not trying for that third child I craved or regret not going back to work...I cant see it being the lata. I think if you have got a 'need' for that third baby go for it xx

 

[cbass929]

Thanks ladies. After much thinking and deciding... I think that we are going to wait about 6 months total from my mc before we try again. I'm still some days having trouble believing I was pregnant and lost my baby all in such a short couple months. I have a few other things I want to get in order anyway before I get pregnant again.

Good luck to each of you on trying, I hope you ladies get your sticky beans!!! hopefully months to come I will also!!