In need of advice!!!

[Deee[Riley<3]]

First, I am using my friend's posting, so you know. So, here goes. I am a single parent of a 12 year old son with ADHD. He used to live with my parents up until two years ago. They had guardianship of him. They were controling how I would be able to get him back. Note: Any custody was handled through a written agreement, notarized. The stipulations of getting him back would be where I could live. Originally the place were they wanted me, as I found out, is a very bad area, but this is what they wanted. It did not turn out that way. The area I landed in is better in some ways, but the kids run wild over here and disrespect the adults. Anywho, they still try to control me and my situations but I don't let them and now I stand up to them instead of "laying down and taking it like a bitch". They do not like the way I do things or how I live and they expect me to be like them. In fact, I kind of am. I'm kind of like the way they were with me. They are filthy hypocrites who expect you to be like them and do what they do. They act like as if their shit doesn't stink, but everyone's shit stinks the same way. It's either their way or the highway. Always have been. I was sheltered as a teenager as they did with my son when they had him. I am trying to show him the way of the world. When I got pregnant with him at the age of 17, they kicked me out, and I ended up in a serious depression when I had no one to help me with a crying baby and didn't know how to get help for my illness. Then they took him on a temporary agreement until I was well enough to handle my life, but I instead got lost with stupid shit because I was young and not shown the shadier side of life. I got myself deeper and deeper into shit. Maybe not drugs, but I was certainly skirting around some serious drugs and drug dealers and other shady people. I was alone. Nobody wanted to take me under their wing and guide me through depression and the ways of the world. Note: this is how I am with anyone who needs a hand. I am always helping someone in need, especially my close friends, as they are my real family. The step family who my mother married into wants nothing to do with me, but as I said they are hypocrites and happen to be Christians. Which reminds me, don't christian try to help others in need and love their supposed family? Anywho, I kind of grew up and stopped the doing the stupid shit that I used to get involved with. It would be 9 years until everything fell into place with my life and where my son's grandparents required me to be. I have had him for almost two years and things are a little hairy right now cause I dont have a job, I dont have a car, I dont own my own house(I rent), etc etc. But I have love for my people and a big heart for my son. THE PROBLEM: They are suing me for primary physical custody cause they say they can do a better job. However, in my opinion, they are trying to control, as always, my situation and that of my son. I feel they have damaged him and will continue to do damage him. My dilemma is whether to fight it or kind of take advantage of them and get money off them for what they want. I would use this money to go to school in California and do what I would love to do with my talents. My son has been told from day one he could go back to them, but I have the helm and say no. As a mom, you want to please and do anything for your kids, but do I let him go back to them? I will always be there for him when he wants to be back with me who can love him unconditionally. What shall I do? SORRY for the long rant and I greatly appreciate whoever takes the time to read this and give me their opinion (and hope).

 

[Deee[Riley<3]]

!?

 

[Cariad_bach]

Hi hun,
I'll admit now i know nothing about what your going through sorry, it sounds like you got very lost alone the way and have done great to sort yourself out so far without help.
Not many people come in to this area of the forum to be honest but theres a bit called Home Life & Relationships ... https://www.babyandbump.com/home-life-relationships/ ... and i think theres members that post in that bit about custody battles ect, sorry i cant help more xx

 

[trainingdoc]

I think you need to behave like an adult, and go about this in an adult way.

Do you want your son to see you taking money from his grandparents in what seems like a pay-off for them taking him?

Think about what kind of role model you would like to be for your son and use this as your guide. It's certainly not the easiest way, and it may not work straight away, but hopefully you can show everyone involved that you're a good mum and role model for your son.