In two minds

[motherofboys]

I'm considering cancelling my gender scan and not finding out, even at my 22 week scan, of course it will still be there as a fall back in case I change my mind.
Every day I become surer that the baby is a boy and I'm getting to be ok with it.
This could be the last one and I always said I wanted 1 surprise and found out with all the others.
I have been worried about depression after birth if I didn't know it was a boy until the big day but now I'm thinking it might be OK
I don't know what to do

 

[maybebaby3]

I'm too impatient to have waited but a surprise is nice. My friend was sure she was having a boy, her mil even bought boy stuff and then out popped a girl! She was very happy!

 

[Angelica]

If theres any chance that u will suffer from gd then perhaps u should find out before babys born so u can get use to the idea?

 

[Misscalais]

This is just my opinion.
I'm going to find out with my next baby because it would give me 20 weeks to get over GD if I happen to have another boy. That way I'd be able to bond in those weeks. I think if I left it till birth GD would be stronger and I'd be worried I wouldn't bond right away.
So that way I could pick out a name and a few cutie outfits ect.
And I know I'd be able to come onto here and get support
Fingers are still crossed for your baby girl

 

[motherofboys]

I'm not sure if I'd be able to do it. Today I'm thinking "what if" LOL I'm just worried about not ever having that surprise. If this is a boy and I find out and manage to convince DH of 1 more baby, I wont be able to have a surprise then either.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I had my LO yesterday, we were team yellow and I desperately wanted a girl. I was sure it was a boy but I got my girlie . There were times I worried we'd made the wrong decision not finding out but honestly when she was born I just didn't care, I was so overwhelmed to see her! Then I remembered to ask the gender and it was the icing on the cake.

 

[motherofboys]

See I think thats what I have in my head. It would be an absolute dream to get to birth and be told "It's a girl" but I know there is a much larger chance I could be told its a boy. The more I think about it today the more unsure I am of my reaction. I just keep flipping back and forth.

 

[motherofboys]

You know what I don't think I can do it. I don't think those feelings will be gone when I hold the baby and I need to get used to the idea. I just want this baby to be a girl too much.

 

[dollych]

I was exactly the same as you with my second pregnancy. I wanted a Girl so bad and booked a gender scan at 16 weeks. Up until the appointment I continued to change my mind, I wanted a surprise, then I wanted to find out, then I changed my mind again........ anyway I decided to go for the scan and I'm glad I did because it took me up until about 2 weeks before he was born to get over the fact that he was a boy. I cried so much after that scan and was devastated that I wasn't going to get my Girl. I feel so awful writing this, but It's true. I had GD so bad, but I'm glad I had the scan because I had time to get used to the fact that I was having another Boy.
Now he is here, I wouldn't change him for the world and just Love him to bits, but I'm glad I had the scan because I think I would have been upset if i had waited until the birth to find out he was a boy.
It gave me time to prepare the nursery and get his clothes ready and to imagine him growing up and being best friends with his Brother and imagining us all together as a family instead of imagining me giving birth to a little Girl and praying and hoping for a Girl throughout my pregnancy.
It's so hard to decide what to do, I wish you all the luck with your decision and really hope you get you're Girl xxxx

 

[maybebaby3]

I'd get the gender scan. If its a girl you will be on and if its not it'll give you time to prepare mentally for your son xxx

 

[hoping4bbynm2]

I agree with others. Get use to the idea before baby comes. Make it easier on you! I have had dreams of being told boy and woke up crying and I actually asked fiance if he wanted to wait to find out cause idk if I could hear those words. But I'm going to so I can move past this. Gosh I feel awful for even thinking this way its just a feeling I can't let die. Fx for both of us.

 

[motherofboys]

I look at my boys and I know another boy would be ok, but at the same time I also feel like I've had enough boy stuff. I just want to mix things up a bit.

 

[Willow87]

Well I am team yellow with 6 more weeks to go! I never thought I would actually wait to find out but made the decision after getting more boy guesses on my nub and just a few girl guesses. It made me a bit sad and depressed and I know being tol boy at the 20 week scan would have probably made me sad for the rest of the pregnancy. I didn't want that for my first pregnancy. I wanted to enjoy it which I have and it's nice to have a wee bit of hope that this baby COULD be a girl. But I have bonded with this baby being a boy so if it turns out to be a girl, it will be a shock. I really just can't imagine myself being upset at the birth...

But then it can be different for you as this isn't your first baby and your desire for a girl is very deep.

Any chance you can try for 1 more and sway?

 

[motherofboys]

We did plan one more, DH has recently changed his mind but he doesn't know about nub theories and how I've had 98% boy guesses and how I've been so upset over it.
I have had depression in the past after my 2nd baby (not due to GD) so I'm scared of that happening again.
I have thought about it and I think I will find out because if I wait there is always that hope that its a girl. I think its best if I know in advance so I can get over it. I don't think I would be sad the whole pregnancy though so it wouldn't spoil it for me. I've not enjoyed it as much so far because I've been so concerned with the gender.

 

[maybebaby3]

I've not enjoyed this pregnancy as much coz of GD too

 

[motherofboys]

I think once I know and can move past it I can enjoy it. I know in the end I will be ok with a boy, but the not know leaves me going in this circle where I'm convinced its a boy and ok with that, then start thinking it could still be a girl, then get my hopes up, then crash down thinking no its defo a boy, I will only have boys, I'll never have a daughter and then I'm sad again before I get over it and go back to being ok with the idea of 4 boys.

 

[maybebaby3]

There's still a chance it's a girl!

 

[motherofboys]

I know there is technically, it's really hard because I do still keep getting the feeling I had at the start that it would be a girl, but now I think its just wishful thinking because I'm so sure there is no chance. Its hard to explain I'm fighting the feeling of hope because I feel I have no hope (does that even make sense?)

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I think it's different for different people really. Some people would prefer to wait until the birth because a lot of people are very overwhelmed by their emotions after giving birth and feel so euphoric and bonded in that moment of post-birth emotions, that learning they have given birth to the 'less preferred' choice of gender is completely cushioned by the tiny little baby in their arms! And learning they have given birth to their preferred choice of gender would make the birth even more of an amazing, special memory. As someone mentioned above, it also means you don't risk your pregnancy being ruined by GD if it is a boy.

However, as others have said, for some mums it's best to learn via the gender scan, because it means 20 weeks of becoming used to the idea, getting excited over boys things and bonding with your baby- plus being totally prepared for the birth. It also would mean you don't spend your whole pregnancy fretting over what the gender is and all the frustration that brings. and if you do get told girl, it means being able to enjoy your only pregnancy with a pink bump- buying clothes etc. Really, it's whatever option is best for you! xx

 

[Toms Mummy]

When is your scan hun?.... There's no reason not to cancel it, as you say you have your 22wk scan to fall back on x