Incompetent Cervix - stitch/cerclage - threatened labour

[book.fish2011]

@ JJ: good to see you feeling better. So, Wednesday is your appointment day. For me, every Wednesday marks completion of 1 week. Am sure your next appointment will be all good and positive.

Weather in Dubai is quite pleasant , it's supposed to be our Winter. We don't have any snow though London is one of the favorite cities I have visited, am sure it must be a beautiful day there today.

Spotting, according to me, has lessened today. Hopefully it's true and not just me being over optimistic.

@Christiana: Good to know your cramping has reduced. One of my babies is very close to the cervix. His head was near the cervix during last scan. I thought I felt his kicks today. Nothing from my other baby.

@heychickie : all my good wishes for your delivery

 

[JimmyJam]

Good luck Heychickie! Totally jealous ...

BF - that's great news spotting has subsided. Thought it would send us some of your sunshine plse, we're cold!

Christina, can't blieve your sonographer has been so tactless, of course you're going to worry your head off now til yr nxt scan ... I'm sure it's fine though. Like I said, I don't feel the baby all the time either. I think they go in 40-minute sleep/wake patterns? A least the cramping has subsided ... You & I have identical dates!! (Bookfish where are you in dates?)

Am now on sofa, clean & lathered in Mama Mio baby cream (you tried it? It's pricey but lush ... I recommend as a treat, my moisturising ritual is the highlight of my day) & am waiting for my first visitor ... Hey-Ho. It's the long haul.

xxx

 

[liven1980]

so much for youre replyes, I should have joined this thread weeks ago! You are so wonderful
I am 28 weeks today and very greateful. Still, I am also starting to get more depressed, which I dont understand. Maybe its because I feel its still not good enough. Or because of all the weeks in "isolation".. When did you start to go off strict bedrest? And what did you do?
LaRocka: no the discharge does not get it totally wet. I do not think its amniotic fluid. I had a swab four days ago, but doc havent called me back with any results yet. I have read your story, congratulations on coming so far
Lizzie: thanks for support and answers
Jj: yes I am here today crying over all your wonderful words about Jacob. I miss him so much. I have read youre story and will follow you!
Angelsmummy: Thank you so very much, I strongly believe I will meet him again


Lots of love to you all

 

[heychickie]

Baby is here as of 12:32 pm EST, and doing well. He was 9lb 1oz and 21 inches long. He was called both chubby and "a chunk" by separate medical folks within the first 2 minutes he was out

He looks great, even skin tone, eyes wide, and he nursed a bit before they took him to the nursery for clean-up and measurements.

 

[chistiana]

JimmyJam- Yes according to your scan dates (if i got it right) your due date is the 17th of june? That's my due date but i doubt i ll make it there (even the doc laughed at me!) since i have a bicornuate uterus and baby will run out of space before that (with ds my uterus only managed to fit 2300kg, hopefully this time it might have stretched a bit and might fit a baby for a little while longer!!Seriously now, your bed rest sounds like a lot of fun, i think i need to get a routine too, i just sit around and do absolutely nothing!!Ow and i agree with your comment...that sonographer was absolutely tactless, i will just ignore him and eat a bunch of chocolates that morning!

Bookfish, thanks hun. I am glad your spotting has subsided too. As for the twins kicking i d think at 17 weeks it s quite normal not to feel much althoughi know what you meen about the twin that is low... that "kick in the bladder/cervix" feeling makes me really jump!!!

Heychickie- congratulations!!!!!Your son was a big baby, well done!!!Enjoy your precious gift and try to rest a little while in the hospital!

Hello to everyone else, hope you re having a fab day!

 

[LaRockera]

Liven - Honey, I think after all you've been through and with your hormones all over the place at this stage, it is only normal that you feel like this. It will come and go, try to think how far you've come, it will give you lots of courage and strength. I'm really glad you decided to join this thread, it's been a life saver for most of us. And yes, watery discharge is absolutely normal. This is what I had for the most part of my pregnancy, and I still have it.

Heychickie - CONGRATS, honey!!! I'm SO very happy for you, give us a picture at some point (if you feel like it). Well done, sweetie!

Lizzie - You know, I wanted to say that before but kept forgetting. I admire you girlfriend, I really, really do. Your strength and courage and optimism, look at you, a born-to-be mum, ready for a new baby! You inspire us all!

Oh. I may get my stitch removed next Friday, at 36+3. Then, or at 37 weeks. Can hardly believe it's time.

 

[HelenGee]

Hey Chickie- congratulations! Your little boy sounds perfect, well done to you, I am so so very pleased for you and your hubby. I love the fact he's a chubby chunk (the midwife said that Bella was a "chubby one" when she was born. One of the best comments I ever heard. Sending you wishes for a lifetime of happiness

Lizzie- heaven knows what the government are planning, but it sounds like they will be pushing schools to be open for teaching 7-5. It 's most likely that these hours will be compulsory for staff and students. Schools will also be open 6 days per week in their proposals. That's more hours than most people work in a typical week.

Home ed is a wish of mine, but I need to find a way to be able to afford to be at home full time first. Where's there's a will, there's a way.......hmmm.

LaRock - yay, what an achievement, stitch removal is the final big goal, just short of d-day

JimmyJ- I love your bed rest plan, so much better than mine was. Hope today's been a good one xx

 

[JimmyJam]

Hmmm just so not so sure bed rest is fun I am running out of steam already. The other half went out for a pint tonight & though he left me with my lovely mil I suddenly feel very lonely. But then I guess this whole thing is a lonely process. I just don't feel as safe when he's not around, this whole thing is so dark & makes me feel so vulnerable. I'm trying so hard to stay upbeat & then the reality of it smacks me in the face. And I don't know WHAT my cervix is doing & I can't control it. It feels like such an endless journey ...

Liven I think the ups & downs can only be expected & the way you're feeling now is probably a reaction to having held it together for all these weeks - after a soul-destroying loss - and now having reached a major milestone some of that pent-up emotion & feeling of isolation you've buried has come to the surface. I often notice how people react once the greatest danger is over. My second IVF cycle resulted in me being hospitalised in a hurry for a suspected ectopic pregnancy & then discharged on a 'wait & see' basis', whereby I was on house arrest for a week & Matt worked from home in case I ruptured & my own life was put in danger; I had to have tests every day to see what was happening & spend hours & hours at the hospital. I was pregnant but it wasn't viable yet my hormone levels kept rising & it was really scary b/c I was adamant I didn't want them to operate & remove a fallopian tube. Finally after a week of torment they rang me & told me my hormone levels were dropping & it was resolving naturally. Matt had been stoic all week, keeping my spirits up & looking after me. But when I got the call at 9pm on a Saturday night, I put the phone down & he just burst into tears. It took the danger being over for him to be able to express it.

Sometimes I wonder how he's feeling now, he's not one to articulate his fears & though I've told him we're in this together & he can feel bad too, he is consistently calm & upbeat. I worry about him worrying about me & I can't bear the thought of him being unhappy.

HeyChickie - we haven't met but what fabulous news. Major congratulations to you & yr family. I hope you are enjoying your new addition as much as uou deserve.

Christina - babe, I don't think I'll make my due date either - at this stage if I make it to 28 weeks I will be stoked ... And anything above 30 would be a major celebration. We are just going to have to take it day by day. Must be scary for you but you'll get there.

LaRock - it's becoming a reality. You deserve it. How wonderful for you, I hope it's plain sailing from here.

I am fed up tonight. I think I've been through enough shit over the last 2 years without this and I wish my darling husband I didn't have to be tested even further. Not one but TWO high-risk conditions after all the horrid IVF & misery & operations over the last 4 years. It's so unfair I don't get to enjoy my pregnancy after all that. Bloody hell if karma exists I must've been evil in a former life.

I know I should count my blessings it's just tough & I don't know what the outcome's going to be. God, I really need a break!!!!

On that sunny note I'll say goodnight.

Sweet dreams all & stay safe.

JimmyJam xxx

 

[lizziedripping]

Hi everyone, and heychickie brilliant news - I am so pleased for you hun. My first was exactly 9Ibs 1 too - how strange.

You certainly don't take the 'chunky monkey' comments for granted after having had a 1/2Ib baby. I was so thrilled by the large sizes of the twins and harped on about it for ages - not like me, but only did it because I had been so desperately sad that my daughter was born so teeny and defenceless So pleased your boy was born full term and healthy darlin' xxx

Christiana - I don't know where the placentas of my singletons were, only that with the twins I had one posterior and one anterior. Movements generally are very scant and hard to detect til after 24wks or thereabouts. I felt random flutterings from as early as 12wks with the twins, but these didn't turn into kicks and punches until the mid twenties.

As fOr sonographer's comments - I have met few clinicians who think before putting their mouths into gear lol. Please don't worry, if there was a question mark over the health and well being of this baby, that same sonographer would have alerted you immediately hun x

LR - cant believe things are so near for you now, it feels like you've been pregnant forever chick You've been an absolute treasure on this thread and so deserving of 'your turn' after all the support you've given to others x

Bf Hun, prepare yourself for some pretty uncomfortable bladder punches and kicks as you progress. My boys tortured me with constant low down bashing in my bladder and cervix - after 32 wks I would actually cry out in pain!! It took my breath away. My twin A was breech and squished way down at the back of me underneath his monster brother. Naturally they would always 'pipe up' from midnight onwards (as kids typically do), just as I had managed to find a position comfortable enough to grab my nightly 2hrs cat nap! It was hellish, but tbh I never minded so long as they remained inside. One day, when they are older I will exact my revenge................

JJ - you do make me smile with your bed rest updates, thanks for that You sound thoroughly pampered, and deservedly so.

I so admire your positivity sweet, not easy when faced with pregnancy complications. Still, as with many ladies before you I have every faith all will be well in the end, and you will look back on this experience as 'character building' and 'good for the soul' - and other such things we all tell ourselves to make life's hiccups bearable lol. My thoughts are with you every step of the way xxx

Liven - you are hitting a point where many women in your position feel down hun. The raw fear has passed and you are supposed to feel relieved and relaxed - you can almost hear other people thinking 'get over this now, you're home and dry' but you don't feel it. I remember saying at 24wks, if I could just make 28wks I'll be happy. Then of course at 28wks I said, 'please let me get to 30wks, babies do so much better then'. This for me went on each fortnight and I still wasn't happy until I hit 37wks ( the first moment I truly relaxed), and I was due to deliver the twins a week later at 38wks!!

Bed rest and isolation is a necessary evil, and one which screws with your mind. You daren't not do it, but it isn't 'normal' to shut yourself away from civilisation. This coupled with the fear and intense emotions of the previous few months are a huge strain. Remember tho Hun that you have already done an amazing thing for this baby, and in just a few weeks you will begin to relax (albeit slowly) and steadily allow yourself to get excited for the big day

I only began to buy things for the twins at 30wks not because I was happy for them to be born at 30, but because I really started to believe there was a chance I actually might get to term at that point. You will too darlin', and you can begin to move forward and get excited

Hope I didn't miss anyone. Love and good night to you all

 

[chistiana]

Jimmyjam- we ll both make it there hun even if it means losing all muscle tone and living like hermits for the next 2-3-4 months!! night times are always harder but even at our greatest chances it is only another 127 night to go...not that bad for a baby right?nite nite xxx

 

[JimmyJam]

Thank you Lizzie, thanks Christiana. It helps. xxx

 

[chistiana]

thanks LIZZIE cant wait for when my girl starts karate kicking me!

 

[lizziedripping]

JJ Hun, I must have been typing the above message whilst you were typing yours - the upshot is it looks as though I am saying your recent message (in which you express despair and sadness) makes me smile!!!!! So sorry darlin' completely unintentional - I was of course referring to your msgs posted earlier in the day

Needless to say, in response to your latest message - you are not a bad person, and absolutely do not deserve any of the pain you have endured. Pregnancy and child birth is a hugely complex affair, so complex in fact that it is a marvel to me that anyone ever gets pregnant, or has a healthy baby at all!! IC alone is such a burden, and one which leaves you feeling helpless beyond measure.

You're probably feeling blue tonight because you are overwhelmed by the responsibility of it all, and the constant undermining of your previously unshakeable confidence in yourself and those around you. It's totally understandable, and a real test of your resolve now more than ever.

You strike me as a supremely confident woman in your previous life JJ, and one who has been set adrift by the events of the last few years. You have slogged away at these challenges as everyone probably expected you would, but it must have left you and Dh emotionally and physically exhausted There is little wonder that you have these moments of despair - I am amazed you haven't had many more.

I can't answer why bad things happen to good people hun, only that sadly they do. All I can do, along with everyone else here is to lend a supporting hand through the tough times, and try to help you make it safely to the other side

 

[book.fish2011]

@heychicke: congrats!!!! What a big baby! He must be so beautiful!

@Lizzie: I cannot believe my luck sometimes for coming across you. I have so many worries(cerclage,preemie,twins.,,) and I can turn to you each time for everything, because you are not just a Guru but also so compassionate. It hasn't really dawned on me yet that I could give birth to twins successfully, but if things positively progress and if I make it that far to believe it, will be turning to you for all twin related questions.

@Liven: I think everyone understands the unreal feeling at 28 weeks and the anxiety. I have been there only once before, when I was that innocent, ignorant, even idiotic first time pregnant woman. I cannot even imagine how'd I feel if I ever (please god), get there again. Now am a totally different woman from last time. Bereaved mom, more wiser, more sick but also more prepared. Not to mention, more crazy.

@LR: congrats for cerclage removal. This calls for celebration!

@JJ: I understand what you are going through, with regards to your other half. My dh is the kindest person on earth and he is been put through so many things. Loss of our much wanted son, and now this high risk pregnancy. I can see how hard it is for him, you know since he doesn't know first hand whats happening physically becoz am carrying the babies, but he is so so anxious. He is too frail to take another heartbreaking loss or losses. How I wish the end is much different this time and we get our much deserved babies finally.

@Christiana: Am almost 5 weeks behind you and JJ. You will have fun when baby girl starts kicking

 

[jennwitt]

JimmyJam and other friends - just reading through some recent posts and wanted to say HI! I found out last April 1st that I was pg for the FIRST time ever, after 4 unsuccessful IVF's (and I turned 40 4 days earlier ;-)).....My cervix started shortening around week 20, I had 3 episodes of major bleeding at 19, 21 and 23, then at 24.2, I went into the hospital for 8 weeks.....because of the encouragement on here, I refused walks around the floor, or "therapeutic" swimming in the pool...I just layed there and drank tons of water! I was released at 32 weeks and layed on the couch at home until my water broke at 37.1 and baby Luke came at 8lbs, 11oz!! They had decided not to do a stitch at 24 weeks, so I was extra careful trying to keep him in.....Just wanted to send a shout of encouragement to JJ and everyone - it is absoutely worth every second of worry, fret, crap, bedrest.....it's no fun at all while you're going through it, but it is pure joy to do everything you can for a healthy baby! Best wishes and love to everyone xoxo

 

[book.fish2011]

Jennwitt: congrats on your baby boy. Your story is inspirational.

Lizzie: I need to ask this to you again today. I think you told me with your twins after the cerclage you spotted for about a week? Can you tell me what was the nature of spotting? (I hope you remember, it's been a long time correct?)

Sadly, am starting to worry a bit because tomorrow is exactly one week since the cerclage and I still see blood. Let me explain (pls pls excuse dears ,it's all TMI).

There is no blood when I simply lie down or I have even tried standing up in restroom and wiping down there with tissue. However, when I've passed urine, wash and then wipe down there, I see some blood on the toilet paper. Blood seems to be mixed with water and appears to be dilute. It's still red blood that's looking diluted. It isn't brown blood.

Some traces of this appear on the panty and next time I see the blood is only when I go to pee again.

JJ and Christiana, pls, help with your input too.

I messaged my doctor yesterday and she thinks it's normal. Do you think I should just go to the hospital for a check up?

 

[JimmyJam]

Hey Lizzie,

Don't worry I figured our posts had crossed paths. I'm so up & down at the moment, it's probably hard to keep track! Being back on the progesterone can't help ...

Thank you for your kind & thoughtful words, you have so much insight. Thing is - what makes all this crap even tougher - is that it's not my first dose of reality. I don't really feel like my character needs any more building work! My mum died from cancer after a vicious 7-year battle when I was 15 & my childhood can hardly have been described as idyllic. Divorce, death, a wicked stepmother! As a result I've always vowed to make the most of what I've got & not to be a victim but, despite my various professional successes all I've ever really wanted is my own family ... Something which has always felt just without my grasp. The last three years have tested me to beyond what I've thought capable, to the point where I've said it has been even worse than losing my mum. And it feels like the biggest test of all is upon me now. I just hope I have as much fortitude as you all appear to have when facing your own challenges ... I just have to dig deep again.

I derive immense inspiration and strenth from this site, you are a bunch of strong, amazing ladies. I am really glad I've found it. And it's all relative. My life is a breeze compared to that of a child living in Sudan, I know that. It's just tough when you're in it.

Jenn your story is motivational and so similar to my own. You must've been through hell, but you got your prize in the end. Congratulations to you, your treasure must be all the sweeter for the misery you've endured. Thank you for sharing. I only hope my own story has a happy ending too ...

Bookfish - I think every woman is different & if you're still having some spotting that may just be because it's individual to you. No set of symptoms are identical and I think it's encouraging that your doctor seems to think everything's okay. Having said that, I also believe in female intuition & if you really think something's up then you should defo get it checked out. If only for yor own peace of mind hon. This is just too important.

I have a fluffy black & white cat called Pyjama, she was a present from Matt on our first wedding anniversary. She is a little ray of capricious sunshine & she's yowling at me now for some attention. I think she believes we are just here to cater to her every need & sometimes I think she's probably right .. Having been childless for so long we project all that excess love & affection onto her. Suffice to say she is SPOILT. And in true indulgent parent manner I am now going to go & indulge her further ...

Have a great day girls (it's minus six in London)!

JimmyJam xx

 

[lizziedripping]

JJ - there is always someone worse off than ourselves, even for the child in Sudan - that doesn't make our own private hell any easier to bear You have encountered unbelievable sadness in your life, but have come through it with such courage and dignity. Total respect to you and Dh for that xxx

P.S - the 'spoilt kitty' scenario is one I can relate to lol. Mine was called Poppy - a cantankerous old puss we nicknamed 'Edna' after my equally cantankerous old aunt She was our child too before the kids. Would love another cat but Dh says no. He's probably right. Loving the name Pyjama btw xxx

 

[JimmyJam]

Thanks Lizzie. Edna is such a great nickname! Pj has been such a comfort.

Have a good day hon xx

 

[LaRockera]

I just wanted to say to Jimmy, and to all the other ladies here with a cerclage, that it does work. It's inserted there to hold the pressure of a baby, the fluid (much or little), the placenta, it's thick and strong and it has a huge success rate. There are ladies with IC that managed to hold onto with full bed rest (Calypso is one of them) and now have wonderful, beautiful babies.

And please, please don't feel guilty about being human. If there was one thing I couldn't cope with, that was the stress. This is why I congratulated Lizzie, I admire her strength and courage. We worried so much over this baby that both DH and I now feel KO, and I don't think we'll think about a second baby (although we want another one eventually) for 2-3 years. I need a break, I need to breathe- but most of all, I need my little girl to get here safe and sound.

Thank you so much everyone for your congratulations and kind words- and Lizzie, I only tried to be what you, Helen and the rest of the ladies were to me when I first joined. It's the least I can do.