Incompetent Cervix - stitch/cerclage - threatened labour

[book.fish2011]

I hope all my lovely ladies here are doing well. I still continue to be pregnant; but I have some very sad news to share. My young brother who would be 29 next month passed away in a car crash in India 4th March. The crash killed him instantaneously. Due to cerclage and twins I was asked to not travel; my husband ended up flying alone for his funeral. We are 3 children to my parents and were always close and immensely loved. He was the second child. My parents are sad beyond words. I'm stuck in Dubai here and still can't believe that my brother is no more.

I will come back again to write more. Love to all

 

[kateqpr]

Oh Bookfish my love. That is such tragic and sad news. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a brother, having three I'm close to myself.

All you can do is try and find yet more strength to get through this awful time and know that you will be able to fly to see and support your parents once your two beautiful babies are here.

Sending you much love xxx

 

[book.fish2011]

Thank you Kate. I hope things are great with you. I just went back to all posts since 4th march and saw how everyone remembered me. Am so so grateful. I hope things are okay with JJ, Christiana, Olga, Liven and the ever sweet Lizzie and Helen. I guess LR is having a great time as the new mommy.

Since my brother died I just couldn't use the iPad except when it's very necessary like sending an emergency email- I have been spending most days staring at the wall not wanting to do anything. My husband was convinced I was going to lose the twins because the stress levels were so high. My parents and my other brother are shit scared for me too. No one in my family or extended family has ever been through something like this..and I can't even imagine am actually here. In 16 months I have lost a baby first and then a dear dear brother.

Am not sure about the status of this pregnancy. A week ago I had a scan, babies and cervix looked fine. Swab turned out to be fine. But I has some brown mucous discharge and this constant itching in vagina. It constantly feels like something s gonna pop out of the vagina any moment.

Am planning to go try to sleep now. I will come back to write again. Love to all.

 

[lizziedripping]

Oh Bf sweetheart, though I am immensely relieved you are still pregnant and your precious babies are ok, I feel utterly overwhelmed with sadness at your tragic news That is terrible and my heart goes out to you and your family.

The loss of a child (especially one in the prime of his life) is the worse that can happen to anyone, and your parents must be distraught. You yourself must be numb and still in shock, it will take some time before you are even able to begin to come to terms with losing your beloved brother and the grief must be almost too much to bear

You are a lovely person and this is all so unfair. We'll all be praying for you at this difficult time sweetie, and as far as possible try to support you in grief. Take strength from the the little souls you are carrying inside, and focus now on getting you and your family through this tragedy. With you always darlin, if there's anything I can do............... xxxxxxxx

 

[chistiana]

BF- ow hun i know you ve heard this a lot but i trully cannot express how sorry i m for what you and your family are going through. A brother is like your closest best friend and i cannot even imagine how you must be feeling. I wish i could support you somehow but i will be thinking and praying for you and your family to find the strength and courage to come to terms with this horrible loss. Please take good care of yourself and your little ones. Thinking of you.xo

 

[LaRockera]

Oh bookfish, sweetie, I'm so, so sorry to hear about such tragic news. What can I say, words are not enough, they never are, are they? May time be gentle to your family, and especially your mother, and may you soon have your precious babies in your arms to alleviate some of the pain you're feeling right now.

Nothing more I can say. May you be strong and courageous for your babies. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.

 

[JessiBear]

hey there,
I have had some aches and pains but they are not regular at all. Im so very new to this and still trying to look out for symptoms - in all honesty I have no idea what I am looking for. I don't want to rush into hospital every five minutes. I feel like anything I feel is something to consider seriously.very paranoid.
I have also noticed my baby isn't as active as he was earlier. Although I still get spurts of frantic kicking. Is that normal?


Jess xx

 

[JimmyJam]

Oh Bookfish, my love, I am crying as I write this. I am so, so sorry about your loss, you have been through so much. I cannot believe how lonely and isolated you must be feeling, sweetheart you are so brave. I was desperate to hear news from you and never imagined it could have been this.

Having lost my mum to breast cancer in my teens I know what it is like to lose someone you love. The pain doesn't go away BF, but with time it diminishes a bit & gradually you will start to smile once more. The comforting news is that you & your babies are okay - you hang in there, sweetie, it's even more important now for the memory of your dear brother. The sun will shine again.

Ladies, thanks for all your sweet messages of support, they mean so much. It's up & down as you all know. 27 weeks + 1. Just need to get my act together & buck up - and take some strength from brave Bookfish.

Kate - would love to see you this week if you've got the energy.

Jessi - sorry I haven't said hello, I'm a bit self-absorbed at the moment.

Lovely Helen, Lizzie, Liven, Olga & Chrissy sending you all my love. And LaRock, just over the moon for uou & hope you're feeling better & doing ok.

Have a good week you wonderful lot.

Jj xx

 

[chistiana]

Jessi- i m not exactly sure what you mean by aches and pains but if it is nothing too painful then i would assume aches and pains are all normal part of pregnancy. I get some days when my whole body hurts and then a couple of days later i feel better. As for bubs not being that active if you look back a bit i kept complaining about my girl not moving a lot...it's been like that on and off...she ll go quiet for a couple of days then do some frantic kicking for a day or two then back to being quiet. For me though she s been like that all along, if you feel this is out of the ordinary for you i wouldnt worry about bothering your doc or hospital, just call or go in to have bubs monitored for a while.

 

[LaRockera]

Jessi - first of all, never worry about being paranoid. Just ask Kate or Helen or myself or any other lady for that matter. We were frequent customers in maternity triage. Never, and I mean NEVER worry about looking silly or disturbing. That's what they're there for.

Also, like Christiana said, as long as your pains are not too intense, I'd presume they're normal pregnancy pains, like RLP or something. And as for movement, your baby can still hide, so it's normal to have some quite hours.

But again, do call them up, if only to put your mind at ease.

 

[HelenGee]

Bookfish-my sweet, I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. The loss of a sibling is horrific, and it's made tougher by your current bed rest state. I'm sure your family understand that you cannot travel and are willing you to keep your babies safe. Please be kind to yourself, as a close family, you will find a way to grieve together once your babies are here safe and sound. Stare at the wall if you need to, but remember that you were touched by a special bond of a sibling who loved you as much as you love him. Draw strength from that and us.

The loss of a child and sibling is the cruelest for any family, especially when the family are so close. My thoughts and prayers are with you my darling x

As for the brown mucous, it may just be a bit of old blood from the stitch. It is worth getting checked if you are worried. It sounds as though you are distressed anyway, and a little tlc and a check over might help you, although I had a few brown bleeds after the stitch, which amounted to nothing.

Hope you ladies are all ok x

 

[kateqpr]

Hello all,

Bookfish my love - i am sending you such warm hugs to get you through these coming months. You just do what you need to do - stare at walls, cry, pray. Hopefully when your babies arrive they will be able to bring some light to your family again. Hold on to that thought.

Jimmy - wow, 27 +2 today. So so close to 28 weeks now! And you wait, you'll get to 28 on Sunday and think, no, that's not enough, and those goal posts move pretty quickly! But you are so beyond where you thought you'd be. I found a post on Polyhydramnios in the gestational complications section of here, (sure you've seen it too - a few pages in) and there are women who have been through the same, and all gone on to have healthy babies. One had severe Poly too, and baby was born with a problem (with their swallowing I think) which, after an operation, is now fixed and baby is now a healthy toddler. I feel so sure your story has a entirely positive outcome coming. I hope you're allowing yourself to feel that way sometimes too.

I feel a bit of a mess this week. Very teary, hormonal, arguing a lot with Andy (i just feel really defensive). I've got my stitch removal this afternoon and am suddenly quite nervous about it, which i think is making me tetchy. Plus i've got my final growth scan and docs appointment on Thursday too. Also my mum is going into hospital on Thursday as she has developed some heart problems, so i think i'm feeling kind of overwhelmed by various thoughts in my head. Plus i have my inlaws staying, who are lovely, but i do just feel my MIL is always slightly getting my back up, as she is a bit of a complainer. She called our house a bit of a jungle, because of all the mess. What she doesn't realised is we've spent the last month throwing bags of junk and charity stuff out! Yet she lives in a tiny, spotless bungalow, cleaning all day. My house has three floors - i have't seen the top floor in months as i'm too knackered to venture up there - plus can't reach the floor any more to pick up Poppy's toys / stickers that inevitably spread around the place. I just feel a bit frustrated at my lack of ability to keep things tidy, and know that will only get worse once baby is here. God, listen to me - my hormones are making me mental this week! Such nonsense! Plus feeling a bit lonely. Literally all my friends are away this week, my usual support system. And Andy is out a lot (he's off to some wine tasting / Argentinian Polo event tomorrow night tonight) which i would love to go to but just know i don't have the energy for all that travelling and standing. Pah. Grumpy me.

Jimmy - would LOVE to come and see you, but this week is not working out as i planned so far. Was wondering, i'm going to go to Chiswick to see my mum on Friday after her procedure. I was hoping to come and see you too afterwards, but not sure of the time yet. Are you able to sit up or walk about at all? Obviously your clinic appointment tomorrow will give you more info on your cervix etc. Just not sure i can get childcare after the 3pm visiting hours, but could meet you for a sit and a coffee in the foyer area, or on a bench outside if its sunny, earlier in the day? Let me know. Otherwise may have to opt for next week when hopefully my mum is well enough to babysit.

Best go. Am dying my roots and left it on for way too long!!

XX

 

[LaRockera]

Oh Kate ,

I know how you feel hon, and I can tell you, it's absolutely normal. With all that's happening in your life right now, it'd be normal to feel as such even if you weren't at the final stages of your pregnancy.

I know what you mean about in-laws, too. They may be the greatest of people, but it's a fact that many a time they make you feel invaded. That's how I felt with DH's nana, pro and post labour. I felt I had to explain myself constantly about my own decisions and private aspects of life etc. I could say try to ignore her but I know it's not always easy. Just know, it happens to the best of us.

Hope your mum feels very well soon, hon, that it's all routine and she's out in no time. As for fighting with your husband, it's all part of the game. He loves you, and I bet he knows how hard everything has been on you.

Don't worry about the stitch removal. It won't hurt like last time. Different doctors, different approaches. The second I thought I felt pain, it was all over. Plus, looking back at everything you went through, what a great milestone this is!

Love,

L.

 

[lizziedripping]

Good luck for this afternoon Kate, you'll be in my thoughts - let us know how it goes
As for family and their thinly veiled put downs, I completely understand where you're coming from. It is my actual mother who always manages to drop in little comments here and there which scream loud and clear 'you are way too untidy, your kids should have far more discipline, and you could be a much better mother......'

I love her, but when she visits I am mentally exhausted by the time she leaves - and I'm not 8mths pregnant! It doesn't matter that there are toys on the floor, or that your top floor hasn't seen a duster for mths (we have a top floor too, and when I was pregnant, it was the local refuse tip lol). All that matters is that lo is healthy, Poppy is loved and you get through this pregnancy You mil is probably a little jealous that you and Dh are in the prime of life looking forward to a new baby, whereas she is probably lonely in her wee house fit for a Queen.

Being grumpy is par for the course in those final weeks. All in all you are coping brilliantly considering all the additional stresses and strains. Hope your Mum isok, and that all goes well for you and yours this week xxx

 

[chistiana]

Hey kate just wanted to say good luck for this afternoon! Hope it doesnt hurt a bit and you re in and out in no time! Plus i will echo lizzie, my mother was around all day to take care of nic and all she could do was moan about how messy the drawers were...yap ok let me get off bed rest and start re arranging the bloody clothes...that s going to do the world of good for my lo!! Dont worry babe, they just need to complain for one reason or another, allow her the joy and pay no attention whatsoever!!
All the best for your mum, i hope she get really well really soon!xo

 

[kateqpr]

Well, stitch is OUT!!

Got to be honest though, it was a lot more painful this time round than the first one. It took them a while to actually find the knot, which was painful enough, and then the pulling of it really hurt. But when they actually found the right point to cut it was fast enough. I tried to just breathe through and had a bit of gas and air, which really i think does absolutely nothing other than give you something to bite on to!!

Felt very teary again after it - just a bit of a shock to my system i think, and it was a long afternoon in the hospital, waiting about etc. But i'm back home now, in pyjamas and resting up.

There's been quite a bit of blood (and was when they were doing it) which i don't remember from the first stitch either. Well, it looks like a lot of bright red blood, when i wee or wipe (and on the pad) but hopefully it should have tailed off by tomorrow. Just feeling a bit bruised, mentally and physically - and now the next challenge awaits....an actual baby. Yay!! Today just made me realise i do want an epidural please!!!!! So not as brave as i think i am!

Hope you're all well, and anyone who had a stitch removed before - the bleeding is okay, right?

Night all - and thanks so much for your messages. Feeling a bit more sane now that hurdle is out of the way...

XX

 

[chistiana]

Yayayayyyyy well done kate! Although you scared the s*#t out of me with the whole description i m so glad it is over and done fir you pain or no pain ( in your case pain or more pain!) on to our next lucky baby now!!! Well done again and hope you ll feel much better soon and bleeding tapers off by tomorrow!!

 

[HelenGee]

Hey Kate - yipppeee! So glad the stitch is out, congrats on that massive milestone, it is so emotional. As for the mil, just totally ignore the helpful comments, or point her in the direction of the vacuum cleaner. Maybe she wants to feel useful lol.

Lizzie - my mum must be from the same mould as yours! Comments such as "did you mean to tidy xyz?" have me tearing my hair out. It is soul-destroying when the person who should be your biggest supporter becomes a well-meaning critic. Then I think back to my childhood, and the chaos and mess that sometimes just happens with a brood of children, and I remember how much fun it was to be messy and free sometimes! X

 

[lizziedripping]

Kate hun, ouch - am crossing my legs at the thought. You brave girl. I'd have been breaking the knuckles of the nearest male (probably Dh) so I think you did quite well considering Bleeding is ok, the area is really vascular and a small 'nick' can cause lots of bright red bleeding. They probably snipped the scar tissue to get at the knot which is why it hurt so much. It should taper off within 24hrs, if it doesn't then I'd just put in a call to L&D xx

How is everyone else today? Ok I hope? X

Helen, I'm sure lots of mothers and daughters must be the same hun. That feeling of not quite being good enough or living up to their expectations is so common. Maybe it's just normal family stuff and to a large extent goes with the territory? My mother and I can be the best of friends and the worst of enemies - I sometimes wonder if we're just too similar.................I'll let you know when I work it out lol xxx

 

[JessiBear]

My aches and pains are like period pains. And I do have some tightening.
I am not rushing to the hospital but I am monitoring them, just incase they get regular and Im making sure my water doesn't break.

I think my pains and tightenings are just normal in pregnancy. But with everything and being new to this I am a little paranoid.
It's annoying that they can't tell me why this is happening - as this is my first pregnancy and I have not had any disturbances to my cervix.

What do you guys do to keep yourselves occupied?
I have been watching movies, tv, doing a few arts and crafts.

I have just been given a whole heap of baby stuff. Most of them brand new and I don't think I am going to need anything else for a little bit.

I got no sleep last night due to being way to hot and today I feel a bit down. I'm fed up and just want to go home and I really wish this was a dream. How is everyone coping?
You have all done this so much longer than me.. And it's amazing. I feel like I am going absolutely mad!!

Jess xx