Incompetent Cervix - stitch/cerclage - threatened labour

[lch28]

thanks shelby. that makes me feel better. its quite ridiculous how even when were not together he can make me feel like shit, i guess that's something i have to deal with because hell always be part of my life.. hes just being manipulative like always. its like hes trying to convince me to take the easy way out and be with him, just so i can stay home with LO and not go back to work. Id love to stay home with LO, but id love more for him to grow up in a positive, loving environment. I think of the way he used to yell at me and absolutely cringe at the thought of it happening in front of my child at any point in his life. Sometimes i feel guilty because ill be working full time when hes so little, but I know that its to give him the best life possible.

 

[Tink_0123]

Ich, I personally have not been through what you're going through with FOB, as far as in my relationships, but my mother went through 12 agonizing years of abuse with my step dad. It became a vicious cycle, everytime she'd leave him, he knew we needed help financially so he would come and offer her money and that things would change and blah blah blah and once they'd get back together he'd be nice for a week and then go back to his old ways. I lived through that from the age of 5 to the age of 17. I can tell you it wasn't pretty, I hated that my mom would have to put up with him because we did need the financial help.

I can honestly tell u, that although he's the father of your baby, sometimes its better to lead separate lives than be together if its going to lead to your baby growing up in an abusive environment. Especially, in a boy, when they grow up in an abusive environment they tend to think its right to mistreat women when they're grown up, because this is all they saw growing up.

At this time, it is best for you to do things that will benefit you and your LO going forward. Remember that life throws curve balls at you and you just have to handle them as best as you can. FOB is just taking advantage of your current situation, being that your out of work, struggling financially, and pregnant. Even if its his child, he can still be in the childs life without having to be in a relationship with you.

Please take it from me, I went through it with my step dad and it affected me A LOT..

 

[lch28]

thank you so much for the advice , it really makes me feel like im doing the right thing - especially because the reason he treated me / every girlfriend hes ever had so awful, is because he grew up watching his Dad treat his Mom like that. I refuse to allow my son to grow up and be like him. I cant even tell you how many times we have had to pick up his mom at all hours of the night because his dad was emotionally or physically abusing her. Im so sorry you had to go through that as a child and teen. I totally get the whole cycle thing, I have left him soo many times and I always go back, now that my baby is involved it isn't about me. I can't go back to him just cause I want too anymore, now I have to worry about my son and the kind of home he will grow up in. He has been in anger management and therapy since we broke up. His therapist reaches out to me all the time to go to a session with him, but I was never interested. I think that I may go, and explain to him why I cant be with him, exactly why I don't and won't trust that he will change and what I expect. Of course I want my son to know his father, if and only if, he treats me with 100% respect in front of him, has a stable and set schedule of when he will see him as well.. my parents were divorced and I never saw my dad when I was supposed too, he always let me down and I dont want my son to go through that. I want him to know when he will see his dad and know that his dad will show up.

 

[Prayerfulmom2]

Ich, where do I start? My husband always tells me to never be afraid to tell your story because my testimony may help someone. You may be that someone. I was married toy first daughters dad and it turned into a living hell. I supported the both of us while I was pregnant and before and after her birth. He was controlling, verbally abusive, sexually abusive, and just nasty to me. He cheated had a short temper and I found out he had another child I didn't know about. My daughter was born at 26 weeks and 6 days. She spent 10 and. Half weeks in the nicu. He was jealous and didn't want me to go see her everyday. Long story short I got enough guts to leave because he got violent and threatened to tke my daughter from me ( as if he could provide for her). I finally divorced him. It got even worse after! I moved back in with mom. I had no money and couldn't provide. God provided. Every time I turned around someone blessed me with clothes or money or food or diapers. Moral of the story, you do what's best FOR YOUR BABY. If he throws money at you, take it and keep moving. He's not doing you a favor, he's contributing to the well being of your baby. He's doing it in a nasty way but take it and keep going sweetie. At some point he will be in child support I hope and that will help a little. If your mom can keep you stay and when you can get part time the full time work. My daughter required a lot of my time because she was so preemie. Things WILL work out for you Hun. I don't push beliefs and religion on anyone but prayer to God helped me and gave me his super strength to go on and I did! My church was so supportive. The members offered to babysit, prayed for us, gave her necessities... It was a miracle. Keep your head up Ich. Your emotional and worried which is Normal!!! Wait until after the baby and just let things stay the way they are now. You're number one priority is the baby and him getting him here safely! ***hugs*** just like I let the stories on here about IC inspire and encourage me, let my relationship with my ex inspire you. If I could do it with a sick baby then I know you can do it with your healthy little one! I'll be praying for you guys and if you want more info just inbox me. Xxxx

 

[PrayingFather]

Lizzie,
I tried to get your attention in another thread because from what I've read in some of your posts, you went through the sane situation that my wife is currently in with our twins. She is 22 weeks and when we had our 20 week exam we were told the twins were developing perfectly which brought us very short-lived joy because the last thing we were told was that her cervix was thinned to .5cm. We were admitted right away and left with a tough decision. She had a stitch placed a week ago which increased her cervix size to 2.1 cm. Here we are now a week later hoping to have her on bedrest at home as long as today's US looked good. She is now down to .6 cm and thinning is now occurring on each side of stitch which is not good to hear. So obviously she isn't leaving the hospital. We have been given several scenarios but they all involve time, which seems like we dont have much. From your own experience what was your situation like compared to ours and is there any hope. Positive feedback from anyone is greatly appreciated.

 

[DAYDAY24]

Ladies at home resting

 

[baby_maybe]

Good to hear dayday, take it easy

 

[Prayerfulmom2]

Lizzie,
I tried to get your attention in another thread because from what I've read in some of your posts, you went through the sane situation that my wife is currently in with our twins. She is 22 weeks and when we had our 20 week exam we were told the twins were developing perfectly which brought us very short-lived joy because the last thing we were told was that her cervix was thinned to .5cm. We were admitted right away and left with a tough decision. She had a stitch placed a week ago which increased her cervix size to 2.1 cm. Here we are now a week later hoping to have her on bedrest at home as long as today's US looked good. She is now down to .6 cm and thinning is now occurring on each side of stitch which is not good to hear. So obviously she isn't leaving the hospital. We have been given several scenarios but they all involve time, which seems like we dont have much. From your own experience what was your situation like compared to ours and is there any hope. Positive feedback from anyone is greatly appreciated.[/QUOTE
I'm no professional at this but, I hear that with twins and IC things vary. My cervix went from 0 with funneling to a cerclage to 1.2 cm and now .5 cm per my dr. He told me as long as I don't contract and my water doesn't break I should be ok. I don't know your wife's situation in detail but if she has to stay in the hospital be happy you're around healthcare ask if she should get meds for contractions maybe she's having them and can't feel them and there causing the thinning. I'm not sure, sorry. Also, ask them about vaginal suppositories called progesterone that helps With the cervix. Like I've read, Many women in here go weeks on little to no cervix. The stitch is what carries many! Wish I could help more. I'll pray for you all. It's a tough ride for all of us but this thread is helpful. It's nice of you to come on and look for info for your wife.. Xxxx best wishes

 

[PrayingFather]

Mom2,
My wife has been taking the progesterone suppositories for a few days now as well and indecin(spelling) for 72hrs. which i was told is about the maximum amount of time they prescribe it for. 2 nights ago was her last dose of the indecin. As of today they have started her on a blood pressure med because they do not know why she is having her contractions still, which she routinely has throughout the night and almost none during the day, which seems slightly wierd to me. As for now they are keeping her at the hospital until they either can get the contractions to basically subside or until the twins come. It seems like the only news we ever get is that something else is wrong, exept the one positive is that they both are in perfect health and dveloping exactly on track. But since each day it seems like it gets worse my wifes' metality and hope dwindles more and more to the point where she is afraid to even talk to them anymore because of how much harder it will make it if the worst happens. I have been doing everything in my power to be her rock and try to keep some sort of optimism in the air but i feel as though she is so afraid of losing the babies that she is starting to expect it which causes me so much frustration. What else can i do for her or say to her that may help because as each day passes and she becomes more depressed i run out of words that she may like to hear. I love my wife to death but i just wish she woud have some hope or drive to want to know, at least in her mind that this is going to be ok. Thank you for your help in this most difficult time of my entire life. Hope to read soon!!!

 

[mpg1502]

Hi prayingfather,

I am so sorry this must be an extremely distressing time for you and your wife.

I went into premature labour at 23 weeks with my daughter. They put in an emergency stitch and i was given Indometacin (same as Indecin) to stop contractions as well as steroids to mature the babys lungs as they were so sure i would deliver.

However my consultant kept me on a daily dose of Indometacin for 6 weeks. Whilst this is highly unusual, i was monitored constantly to ensure the babys safety and to check her heart valve which can be affected. My daughte was born at 37 weeks and is absolutely perfect no effects from any of the medication at all.

It was a particularly distressing time especially as we had been trying for a baby for 10 years. But it was a good outcome for us and the fact that they are caring for your wife now means she has a good chance. Bed rest is essential albeit it boring! Try to keep her spirits up if you can. I too was terrified of losing my baby and i felt quite disconnected from her during that time, as self protection measure I assume.

You may need to give her some time just to get her head around this, try not to expect too much from her at this time. You are doing a wonderful job supporting her so just keep doing what you are doing and take each day as it comes.

Wishing you both all the very best, keep us posted and do feel free to ask us anything at all if we can be of any help!

Mpg1502

 

[lizziedripping]

Lizzie,
I tried to get your attention in another thread because from what I've read in some of your posts, you went through the sane situation that my wife is currently in with our twins. She is 22 weeks and when we had our 20 week exam we were told the twins were developing perfectly which brought us very short-lived joy because the last thing we were told was that her cervix was thinned to .5cm. We were admitted right away and left with a tough decision. She had a stitch placed a week ago which increased her cervix size to 2.1 cm. Here we are now a week later hoping to have her on bedrest at home as long as today's US looked good. She is now down to .6 cm and thinning is now occurring on each side of stitch which is not good to hear. So obviously she isn't leaving the hospital. We have been given several scenarios but they all involve time, which seems like we dont have much. From your own experience what was your situation like compared to ours and is there any hope. Positive feedback from anyone is greatly appreciated.

Hi Clint - I am so sorry to hear about your current struggles We have all been there and understand fully the fear and helplessness induced by the sudden and unexpected news of a shortening cervix and complicated pregnancy. Hopefully I can help.

I just need to clarify a few things. By thinning out I'm assuming you mean that your wife's cervix is shortening above and below the stitch? Essentially it is still closed but short, and there is no funneling *(dilation at the top near her uterus) as far as you're aware? Has she been having any contractions, painless or otherwise, since the surgery? Did she ever have any aches, pains cramps or bleeding before or after the stitch placement?

As the other ladies have mentioned, a short cervix (even one this short) can still take a pregnancy safely to term if there is a stitch preventing complete dilation. If the problem here is purely a weak cervix opening under the additional strain of two babies, then as a mechanical issue, it can be helped with stitching. It is usual, not the exception, for women with IC to have very little cervix left. Your wife has had the stitch precisely because further shortening was anticipated, and although the stitch can strengthen a weak cervix and add length, it isn't unusual for it to shorten once more - and sometimes even swing back and forth on a daily basis!*

In an ideal world a stitch is best placed early before any cervical changes. Failing that, emergency stitches still work well in the majority of cases, and with bed rest and close monitoring it is still possible to make it several more weeks so please don't lose hope.*

Twins are a whole different ball game to singletons. Often the accompanying IC is 'twin specific' in that the same lady can go on to carry a singleton just fine and her cervix was only weak due to the additional strain of two babies. She doesnt have genuine IC. This is a common scenario with multiples but sadly one which is often overlooked by medics. Although not ideal, your wife is absolutely doing the right thing now in staying alert, being monitored and taking complete rest.

Hope that helps, but I realise you might have some specific questions for me too so please feel free to PM me (click on my name and the option pops up). In the meantime I wish you both all the best. With some remaining closed cervix there is still a great deal of hope for you all. It could be that surgery or earlier cervical changes have tipped some balance which could have triggered complicating issues, but on paper this isn't yet a catastrophic situation so focus on that for now. Take care and if you're able, please clarify those earlier questions when you have a moment xx

 

[lizziedripping]

Lovely, brave, strong Ich - you did the most difficult part when deciding to leave your baby's father. That was far from easy, and something most women in unhappy relationships would struggle to do. If you stop and think about the guts and determination you had in doing that, then maybe you'll see just how strong you are

The other point of course is that if you could make that move for the sake of a baby you haven't even met yet, just think how you're gonna feel about him once he's born. Your love and passion for his safety and well being will surpass any emotional pressure coming from your ex - you will be like a lioness protecting her cub lol. There is no feeling like it, and these emotional wrangles will pale into insignificance

 

[lizziedripping]

Glad all went well Day I can't stress the benefits of rest enough sweetie - make sure to stay off your feet for as long as it takes xx

 

[lizziedripping]

Lovely words Tink thanks, but it really is no trouble, in fact this thread keeps me sane!

 

[AmyLouise89]

Also they took my packing out, cath out & iv is still in but not hooked up. I can get up & pee..gonna try a quick shower in a few minutes but besides that I gotta stay flat in bed right now & when I go home. Good news is I finally got solid food..been on liquids since after surgery yesterday..blah! Lol

Yum, jello and chicken broth!

Glad you're feeling better and everything went well. Hope you get to go home soon! How long do you have to stay flat? Hopefully just a few days?

I had surgery Tuesday & had some cramping right afteronly. Next day he took packing & Cath.. & got to eat solids..then today (Thursday) he let me sit up & walk around a bit cause he said If I could have a BM I could go home..had BM about 11am & went home about 3pm..feeling great now..cant even tell I had cerclage placed...I can sit up but told me to just lounge around besides going bathroom & showering...also started feeling baby kick Kr punch tonight!

 

[ShelbyLC]

Also they took my packing out, cath out & iv is still in but not hooked up. I can get up & pee..gonna try a quick shower in a few minutes but besides that I gotta stay flat in bed right now & when I go home. Good news is I finally got solid food..been on liquids since after surgery yesterday..blah! Lol

Yum, jello and chicken broth!

Glad you're feeling better and everything went well. Hope you get to go home soon! How long do you have to stay flat? Hopefully just a few days?

I had surgery Tuesday & had some cramping right afteronly. Next day he took packing & Cath.. & got to eat solids..then today (Thursday) he let me sit up & walk around a bit cause he said If I could have a BM I could go home..had BM about 11am & went home about 3pm..feeling great now..cant even tell I had cerclage placed...I can sit up but told me to just lounge around besides going bathroom & showering...also started feeling baby kick Kr punch tonight!

Wonderful! So glad you're home and feeling well. Sounds like baby is celebrating as well.

 

[DAYDAY24]

Is having a increase in clear blood tinged discharge normal after cerclage placement

 

[ShelbyLC]

Is having a increase in clear blood tinged discharge normal after cerclage placement

From what I've read on here, spotting/light bleeding and discharge is completely normal and should go away after a week or so.

 

[ShelbyLC]

I know this really isn't the place for it, but I wanted to give you guys an update on my girls.

We went to the NICU tonight and when we went to see Tegan, she wasn't there! We were very confused, until the nurses told us that she had been moved to "The Annex", which is the last place NICU babies go before they go home! T is currently weighing 3lbs 0.8oz and on room air.

https://i873.photobucket.com/albums/ab294/shelabama/T2small_zpsc267efe7.jpg

Britton is back on the nasal cannula after the nurse and I heard her making an odd noise yesterday while she was breathing. The doctors did a chest x-ray on her this morning, and everything is looking clear, so we aren't really sure what that noise was all about. I don't know her weight today (her nurse hadn't weighed her yet) but yesterday she was 3lbs 1.6oz.

https://i873.photobucket.com/albums/ab294/shelabama/B4small-1_zpsa36984d7.jpg


Sorry, just had to share!

 

[DAYDAY24]

Thank u and ur girls are adorable