Incompetent Cervix - stitch/cerclage - threatened labour

[Twinkle 3]

I'm 21 weeks today ladies, hoping and praying that I can make atleast another 3.

How did all of you other ladies feel at 21 weeks?

Did you feel anxious, scared? Or did you know in your mind your would make 24weeks?

Im getting more achey as time goes by and the growing bump is getting heavy but I'm determined to carry my baby as far as possible 28weeks would be my ideal goal. I'm hoping I make it

I feel like I can't get excited for my baby until I reach 24weeks, then hopefully I can start to calm down and sail through to 28weeks. That's my ideal plan but as we all know life dosnt go to plan so I'm not holding my breath!

 

[chocolatecat]

Hi ladies--I posted about a month ago when I was diagnosed with IC after my 20 week anatomy scan. Ended up in the hospital 4 cm dilated with bulging membranes. Even after much protesting, my doctors and the maternal fetal medicine specialists refused to do a cerclage because I was so far gone and the high risk of infection. I ended up having Lillian at 21.4 weeks.

I am taking a couple of weeks off from work to recover. All I can think about is my next pregnancy but everyone is telling me to give it time. I am not going to TTC for about 6 months but I want to have a plan. My doctors make it sound like preventative TVC's are very successful but I am reading a lot about women still needing to go on bedrest (at home or hospital) and still delivering early. I am trying to wrap my head around all of this. Any advice on this going forward? I feel very alone having a loss/diagnosis of IC because it is so rare and I really appreciate you ladies being so open and honest on this thread.

So sorry for your loss honey. Lillian is a lovely name. Your story is similar to mine, it's heartbreaking when they can't do anything, or won't
I also waited 6 months, though I admit, not be choice, but because I was waiting for a stitch then for the fertility treatment. We also looked into surrogacy during that time. Thinking of the future helped us a lot.
A stitch sounds essential. I wanted a TAC, but ended up with a pre-pregnancy TVCIC (high cerclage, if place preprenancy they get go very high). I'm taking it easy this pregnancy, no BD, only walking for 15 mins at a time, limited activity in the house. Had some scares, by my cervix is still long. I have a unicornate uterus, which is now what's likely to send me in to PTL, rather than my cervix. But I'm 3 weeks further than last time and looking pretty good.
I wish you all the best. Check out abbey loopers on yahoo groups.

Congrats on the new arrivals Tink and Abi!

Sweet- keep baking!

 

[baby_maybe]

Congratulations Tink, can't wait to see a pic. Take care of yourself

 

[faibel]

Wow, two new term babies, thats great!

Twinkle - 21 weeks... keep going, your getting there.

Update : stitch is arranged, going in at 14 weeks ( in 10 days) and my consultant is also putting me on progesterone supps (didnt mention GP had already pescribed them!!!). Seems that she had a complete change of mind, although she has said that she can't be sure its the right thing, but we will fight all the way, so I feel like shes my side now! So fingers crossed all goes well. I've concentrated so hard on getting the stitch, now I'm scared of something going wrong at placement. Worry worry worry!

Thanks for all the advice and support. I made contact with two of the recommened consults in London and had it all lined up if my consultant didn't come good. I've been a lot more relaxed this week knowing that I had a back up plan.

 

[baby_maybe]

Wow, two new term babies, thats great!

Twinkle - 21 weeks... keep going, your getting there.

Update : stitch is arranged, going in at 14 weeks ( in 10 days) and my consultant is also putting me on progesterone supps (didnt mention GP had already pescribed them!!!). Seems that she had a complete change of mind, although she has said that she can't be sure its the right thing, but we will fight all the way, so I feel like shes my side now! So fingers crossed all goes well. I've concentrated so hard on getting the stitch, now I'm scared of something going wrong at placement. Worry worry worry!

Thanks for all the advice and support. I made contact with two of the recommened consults in London and had it all lined up if my consultant didn't come good. I've been a lot more relaxed this week knowing that I had a back up plan.

That's really great news hunni. Although there are risks (isn't there always though!) I always felt having the stitch was better than not having the stitch. Also there are and have been in the past several twin ladies in this thread who have carried to a reasonable gestation with the stitch in place, so to say they dont work in twin pregnancies is a bit presumptuous on her part.

Anyways just really glad she had a change of heart and has you booked in

 

[karenh24]

started a thread in 2nd tri but thougth i'd repost here because you girls will know more about what im talking about.
so girls today im very upset and can't stop crying,i lost my last baby at 22 weeks and now i have fortnightly scans on my cervix.im so stressed out and don't know if im doing the right thing, im just so overwhelmed, i feel i should push to have a stitch but i don't know.i've had my mum txting me saying to cook my husband a nice meal because he is stressed as well even if its not him carrying the baby.then i go on facebook and he has put as a status he needs tlc and everyones on there asking him whats wrong.we haven't had sex since i was 14 weeks due to the situation of my cervix.now everyone's going to say im neglecting him, his mum already thinks he doesnt get fed because his lost alot of weight (due to drugs a whole other story) i just feel like nobody is taking the situation of my incompetent cervix seriously and they jsut think i should be running around after him. im so sad right now

 

[Twinkle 3]

started a thread in 2nd tri but thougth i'd repost here because you girls will know more about what im talking about.
so girls today im very upset and can't stop crying,i lost my last baby at 22 weeks and now i have fortnightly scans on my cervix.im so stressed out and don't know if im doing the right thing, im just so overwhelmed, i feel i should push to have a stitch but i don't know.i've had my mum txting me saying to cook my husband a nice meal because he is stressed as well even if its not him carrying the baby.then i go on facebook and he has put as a status he needs tlc and everyones on there asking him whats wrong.we haven't had sex since i was 14 weeks due to the situation of my cervix.now everyone's going to say im neglecting him, his mum already thinks he doesnt get fed because his lost alot of weight (due to drugs a whole other story) i just feel like nobody is taking the situation of my incompetent cervix seriously and they jsut think i should be running around after him. im so sad right now

Karen I know how your feeling and I know what it is like to have mother in laws interfering and people having a opinion. Iv experienced it first hand.

First of all get the stitch, it will give you one less thing to worry about. You will feel a bit of relief knowing that you have the stitch instea did worrying if you need it, will it be too late etc. obviously you have a problem with your cervix and if it can help your baby get to term then great

Secondly don't listen to any body, you know your body best, if you feel you need t rest then rest, don't go doing anything to please anyone.. Remind people you are resting to help get your baby to term and that's your main concern. If they care as much as you do about this baby then they will understand. People should be looking after you not the other way around.

Thirdly me and my other half havnt done anything sexual for my full pregnancy. I'm 21 weeks so as you can see it was very long time ago, my other half asks and moans in a jokey way but I also remind him that I would rather do nothing until the baby comes as I'm puttin the baby first. It's not worth losing a baby for a minute of pleasure

Please don't stress, people should understand

I hope everything works out for you, I know it's hard but try and be selfish. Think about you and your baby

 

[karenh24]

Thank you Twinkle for your kind words x

 

[TLM21]

karenh so sorry to hear you are being pulled in multiple directions. you know we are all pro stitch, you are earlier in your 2nd trimester so chances of something going wrong are less. try to talk to your husband, I know it's hard for them to understand, they are definetely.from mars...lol sometimes we are used to doing it all and then some, for them it becomes like a chore taking care of us, that with not being able to have sex, like we are not going thru it too. I have someone cleaning the.house every other.week so he.doesn't.feel.like he has to do it all. the other day I arranged a massage for him by the beach so he could be relax. is your mom close by? can she come and cook four you once in a while or just get to go food from somewhere he really likes. sometimes I think it is crazy as we are going thru so much physically, mentally and emotionally, they are also worried and I think feel helpless. I feel after the massage he was more relaxed which in turn relaxed me.
again I'm sorry anyone has to go thru this...
I have better days than others, hormones play,me sometimes...
hang in there hun

 

[karenh24]

Thank you TLM.we go to eat at his mums 3 times a week, somtimes on the weekend my mum will bring food round, just feel like im being attacked sometimes as other people just don't understand whats actually wrong.sometimes feel like my husband isn't as supportive as he should be or as much as he has been in the past.the reason i won't do anything like a massage for him etc is because i don't want to reward his bad behaviour he started taking cocaine after we lost out son (bad enough he already smokes cannabis) he promised me he stopped he recently started again he used my bank card to get some food shopping (i didn't mind) but then he emptied my account out to fund his habit, he now promises me again thats his stopped an i've made it clear this is his last chance.so it upsets me that im getting attacked and really its him thats done wrong

 

[sweetbuthyper]

Though I would update still in hospital bean is still staying put now contqvtions for over 24 hours but they won't let me go coz of bulging membranes, doncaster won't have me til 27 weeks so at least the weekend or beyond before going back closer to home, I am also llergic ro something here nice rash on piriton and dermotologist has been up she is giving me.various creams for various areas hope they help the itcching is driving me insane I'm also now on bed rest after being told most of the wwk I can walk if I want to leave my room its by chair now

 

[HelenGee]

Karen - you have done nothing wrong and his worries are nothing given the anxiety you've been feeling. Maybe when a doctor actually does a stitch and confirms ic people will take your concerns more seriously and pitch in to help, rather than interfere. You are doing everything you can to take care of your baby, there is nothing more important than that. You should be proud of yourself hun x

Until I had my stitch put in, my in-laws thought I was being plain lazy as I was resting as much as I could. I was due to go back to work after the summer hols and I asked for some help with our then 3 year-old, just before my ic was diagnosed. The response was ridiculous- "well, we're rather busy with cleaning and hair appointments this week, we have to fit it all in before you go back to work and we have to babysit." I could barely walk at this point, but as I had been constantly falsely reassured, they thought I was just shirking my responsibilities. They very quickly changed when I needed the stitch and went to the ends of the earth for us.

You need supportive people around you now, your partner is grieving and so are you. Sorry - I'm on my phone and struggling to type. Vent on here, do whatever helps x

 

[karenh24]

Thank you Helen i've decided im going to go in to hospital 2mro and make them listen.do i just phone up triage and go from there?im not too sure how to go about it x

 

[TLM21]

karenh wow you are dealing with a lot. try not to listen to opinionated family, which may have the best intentions, but may not know how to be more supportive.
I can try to understand where you are coming from, but I bet it's really hard. keep resting and drinking a lot of fluid, be selfish, thinking first about your baby and yourself. I've learned to let other things go a bit... no sex for us since probably early in the pregnancy, I can't even remember. baby and my health comes first. it's totally ok that there are days you will feel stronger, other days you will cry, and be frustrated. focus on your main goal, and read books that can help view things positively, vent with us anytime you need to.
sending you hugs and good vibes.

 

[Twinkle 3]

Good luck at the hospital Karen can't you ring your consultants secutary and ask to speak to your consultant. That's what I would do, unless you feel you need to be seen ASAP then go to triage x

 

[karenh24]

i don't have the number Twinkle and don't know if they would put me thru, my hospitals not brilliant in terms of communication, at least if i get to triage they can scan me before i tell them i want the stitch in x

 

[Craigswife]

Karen, you poor love. IC is so stressful, it's a silent condition which makes it even harder. Having the stitch should ease some of your anxieties. As the other ladies have said its important to rest, do what your body feels like to can cope with. Some days I feel fine and potter about, but on the days I don't I rest as much as possible. It's such an emotional thing to go through, especially if you've had a previous loss. As well as the emotions of IC there's pregnancy hormones on top to add to it. Dont be too hard on yourself, if you're having s blue day, accept its going to be a rubbish day and treat yourself kindly. Tomorrows always another day. I'm sorry your family are struggling with it too, because there's no visible problem it's hard for people to understand, I've encountered this too. Your other half is obviously worried about you and the baby and deals with it in his own way, even if it appears wrong. Men are driven by what's in their pants, my husband sometimes plays the pity card because we can't have sex, he was there when the ob said no sex, but still feels sorry for himself. I just think its tough luck and he can find other ways, if you get my drift!!!! Men are rubbish at times, my husband puts the rubbish out and thinks he's deserves an OBE from the queen. I feel guilty he does all the housework, food shopping etc, but I tell him it's not forever, in a few months we'll all look back and think phew glad that's over.
As Helen said, always feel free to vent on here, we all completely understand and probably gave been through similar problems. Keep smiling x

 

[HelenGee]

Karen- call the hospital switchboard number and ask for maternity triage. I'm not sure what gestation you have to be to be seen in triage, but given your history they should see you there. I could never get them to do a tvu there, they did an abdominal ultrasound on me. You may find that they make an appointment for you for a tvu early next week.

New cross are appalling at communication- the telephone numbers they gave to community midwives to distribute were all wrong. I had to call the switchboard every time. They were shocking and don't give you the telephone numbers of individual consultants' secretaries. That's why going to the maternity clinic and refusing to budge may be an option for you. Good luck x

 

[karenh24]

Thank you Helen it makes things easier knowing that you have been to the same hospital and know how things work.i will be phoning and going in 2mro, doesn't help that i've been vomiting again since yesterday, i think its just the worry and anxiety of it all x

 

[chocolatecat]

I'm sorry you're so unsupported Karen I can't imagine, especially as you've already had a loss, you're not being paranoid.
Funnily enough I've sort of got a related, but opposite problem. Every is telling me to take it easy and rest up etc... which is fine, as I am doing my best. But stuff still needs doing. I'm not doing a lot, but i feel like a bit here and there is fine, and there's no reason for me not to drive 20 minutes to sit on someone else's sofa so I get out of the house.
But everyone keeps telling my hubby off for letting me go out! Despite the fact he's doing sooooo much. He's running the business, keeping on top of the house work, fetching me tea and chocolate, doing the shopping. And he's really feeling all of this emotionally. He's desperate for our little girl to be safe. As for BD - not since August! I had my stitch in September and started fertility treatment straight away, so I was in the TWW by the time I'd healed, as we were too scared!
I really want to be able to do something nice for him, but we've got no money
My mum is being great and comes once a week to help out, but everyone else is full of lovely (and much appreciated) emotional support, but sometimes all the "take it easy", "let hubby do it" is a bit much, as I think he might have a breakdown if he does any more!!! I think cause he works from home they expect him to do even more!

As my mum pointed out though, if I do end up back in hospital it'll be worse, so I should take it easy, and let some stuff slide around the house...but we have so many visitors, I just feel awful if it's a mess, and like they're judging him.

Anyway, suggestions for nice things for me to do/give him would be appreciated!