Inconsistant settling

[Chel]

Up until now I've almost always settled Jasper in my arms, so he doesn't cry.

Because money is tight ATM we're renting out one of our rooms, so that we can keep this apartment. Our housemate is perfect, he's quiet and genuinely nice, hes clean, he's even helpful with Jasper from time to time, which is so lovely... and so we're desperate to keep him! If he moves out, we'll have to move also and downsize to a cheaper place, which means either moving into a one room studio in this area or we have to move to a cheaper suburb, which I really dont want to do!

SO in an effort to keep a happy household, I've not let Jasper cry... and now he's 7 weeks old, its time for him to learn to self settle. He's really good at it, we've been doing it today. He cries for about 4-5 minutes and then lays quietly for a minute or two and then drifts off to sleep.

Do you think its a bad idea to make him self settle during the day and then I settle him in my arms at different times? The housemate is an apprentice chef and so he works shifts, so its not even like I can have a routine of when Jasper self settles and when I settle him.

Will he end up confused and upset? I dont want to be inconsistent with him, but I dont want to have to settle him EVERY time he sleeps, nor do I want to lose our housemate!

 

[mommyof3co]

I personally think he's too young to let him cry like that. Have you tried putting him down when he's almost asleep but not quite so he does fall asleep on his own? If he starts to cry I would go right to him, maybe not pick him up right away but rub his belly or something and talk quietly to him see if he settles if not then I would pick him up and calm him back down and try again. It might take a few times at first but he would eventually get used to being put down just a little awake and once he does you can start putting him down a little more awake, maybe give him his bottle/or nurse rock for a min then lay him down completely awake and he will fall asleep on his own. But he will still learn to self soothe, just without the crying....better for everyone IMO

 

[acv_17]

I don't have any kids so far, but from what I've read in baby books what Mommyof3co said sounds like something to try. That's what I plan on doing when I eventually have a baby. Good luck, and Jasper is a cutie!

 

[babezone]

all depends obviously of hes screamin hes heart out then yer go to him etc but if hes jus whinging n doing a half hearted cry and doesnt seem to botherd thn id keep it up...as for you not wantin him to get confused...he wont as al ur doin is basicaly teachin him other ways to fall asleep which is good...cus later on he wil be able to fall asleep on his own or in your arms. which in turn wil make bedtime alot easier xx

 

[Ratty]

I was doing both, letting him self settle during the day and then at night I would rock him to sleep. I found that he decided he prefered going to sleep on his own and would just start fighting me if i tried to rock him so from experience, no I don't think it will confuse your LO.

Hope thinks work out, sounds like you are doing a great job.

 

[Chel]

thank you. i do feel like he fights with me to go to sleep sometimes too, its really frustrating... and then we're both just frustrated with each other!!!

When I said he cries for 4-5 minutes, it really is whiney crying, it goes up and down in tone and volume. If he fully screams, I'm in there in a flash! Also, if there are tears I'll pick him up, because apartently tears are emotional crying and I dont want him to be sad

I'd love to be able to stay in with him and pat him to sleep, but if I go in to him and not pick him up he opens his mouth and opens his lungs and screams hyterically until I pick him up... its absolutely heart breaking!

I'll try getting him 99% asleep and putting him down, I'll see if that works as a balance. Thank you!