infertility and loss

[shellywellywo]

When it's all you ever wanted,
You try for over 2 years
Disappointed after disappointed each month
Operations and tests, waiting lists
Envious of others that get it so easily,
Hatred to those that get rid of it so easily.
Then finally two blue lines,
It's amazing, its incredible,
Something I have never seen before,
Something I have dreamt of for so long.
I am so happy, my man is so happy.
We tell our families, we try to stay calm..... just in case,
There is always that just incase.
Don't worry say friends,
It won't happen to you.
The scan at 8 weeks,
The baby is small, but has a heartbeat.
Don't worry say friends, it will be fine.
I start to relax, I look in a baby magazine.
But then a week later another scan.
The baby has gone- dissolved.
Am I the most unluckiest person in the world?
I am distraught, numb, devastated.
It happened to me, after all this time of trying.
I lost the baby. My world collapses.
The pain, the blood, the waiting.
Back to the clomid, the scans, the injections, the waiting, the disappointment.
The hatred, the envious, but now there is worry,
I'm scared, I'm lost.
Will I catch again, will I loose it again.
Will I ever be myself again.
That happy person, happy because I was pregnant. ....
How much more can a person take.....

 

[NDH]

I'm so sorry a loss is always hard but especially on the heels of infertility.
I wish I had words to comfort you with but there really aren't any sufficient ones. The hurt does lessen with time but you never forget.
I do hope that having been pregnant will somehow have kick started your fertility so you are able to conceive quickly when you're ready to try again, as does often happen.

 

[tillyttc]

I can't say anything to make you feel better my heartbreaks for you life and god can be so cruel all I will say and this made me stronger was god was testing me not punishing me! You will come back stronger because the urge to have your little one is so great don't give up ! You will never forget but you will move on , I hope and pray that you get that sticky bean that each and everyone is striving for on here . Xxx

 

[tillyttc]

For got to say May losses are 2003 5+4
2007 15+3 ( this one nearly broke me as I found out during my scan saw its fingers and toes hated everyone )
2014 jan 5+4
Finally got pg march 2014 had my little girl nov 25th
So have a little faith Hun . Xxx

 

[Fleur828815]

So so sorry for all you've been through. Life is so cruel and unfair sometimes. I wish you strength to heal, and I really hope you'll be able to fall pregnant again and have your rainbow baby.

 

[shellywellywo]

Thank you for your kind words. It is getting easier day by day. You sort of think it will never happen to you, then when it does it is such a shock.

Fingers crossed for a healthy pregnancy next time, and fingers crossed for everyone else struggling on here. Nobody really understands until they have been through it. But i am trying to be positive- it will not help if i mope about all day.

So chin up ladies. Back to the crazy clomid pills- my poor husband, lol