Insensitive B*stards

[cooch]

Well, I have been posting on here loads lately cos of my situation. A friend of mine who was once very close but we rarely see each other now has kinda been pestering me. I posted not that long ago about it feeling as though she was feeding off my crap.

Anyway, she sent me a PM Sunday and I just said I'd had an op (the Lap) and really didn't want to talk about things just now and we could maybe meet up soon. She had asked to meet up.

Well, tonight she calls (I'm sure some of you know what's coming) and I don't take it. I'm down again regarding our situation. She then PM's me- Just wanted to see how you are. I'm pregnant due May!!

Now I'm sure she is thinking that she shouldn't have to hide it and that if I were a great friend I would be happy for her (after saying she didn't want anymore for years as it was so hard). But is this not incredibly insensitive??? For all she could have known I could have MC and it could have been an op for that. I have been crying hysterically since. But OMG, when are things going to get better???

 

[Armywife84]

Ughhhh, how insensitive for her to tell you when she knows what you're struggling with. She could've at least waited until she has halfway thru her pregnancy or to the very end!

I don't understand those pregnant friends who know that you're struggling with infertility then they feel the need to tell you when they've become pregnant (of course it's always in a short amount of time). Then, they expect you to be overjoyed for them ! Maybe if they really thought about it, then they would have enough decency to spare you the "good" news.

Since I haven't ever experienced those 2 lines, I don't understand the need to tell everyone under the sun .

 

[a1b2c3]

Oh cooch. I think the title of your thread said it all.

To tell you in person is one thing, over the phone is another.... But to pm you?! If it were me I would tell her to piss off. Especially if she truly knew what you were going through. Sorry, but I would. If she is a good friend, she will realise the error of her ways and ask you for forgiveness followed by being more considerate in the future.... If she doesn't well to be honest I wouldn't see her as a loss.

Hope you feel better soon. X

 

[cooch]

Well she did try to call and tbh I would not have liked to have heard it in person or on call. So it was the best way as far asI'm concerned.

 

[LizMcD]

Ah cooch I'm sorry you had to get this news, its not what you need right now. I say just give yourself some space from her until you feel ready.

A close friend of mine at work recently told me in confidence, knowing my situation, that she was ecpecting in June - they weren't even trying! But not Preventing either. I dont know how she wanted me to react but her words were 'are u ok, you look as if you're going to cry!' surely she expected that!!!

Keep your chin up and focus on yourself and your future baby xx

 

[cooch]

Ah cooch I'm sorry you had to get this news, its not what you need right now. I say just give yourself some space from her until you feel ready.

A close friend of mine at work recently told me in confidence, knowing my situation, that she was ecpecting in June - they weren't even trying! But not Preventing either. I dont know how she wanted me to react but her words were 'are u ok, you look as if you're going to cry!' surely she expected that!!!

Keep your chin up and focus on yourself and your future baby xx

I really like your motto LizMcD- 'Think, believe and receive'.

 

[Damita]

 

[Dazed]

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. The approach was definately not right, but like you said, you won't have been able to take it any other way.

 

[NeMali]

Dear cooch, I'm sorry that you had to go through this. My husband and I have been TTC for 1 year now. Each time, when someone around us announces that she is pregnant, we would congratulate them, and cry in our room when we reach home.

I had my Lap done last week to unblock my tubes. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be able to conceive naturally after that

On another note, if I do get BFP, I'd love to announce it to everyone, especially those who have been TTC. This is a way of encouraging them. Perhaps that was what your friend was doing?

All the best to us both and everyone who is TTC

 

[Katielouisa]

What a mean bitch! You would of thought she would of told you face to face or kept it till you get past your op and get results etc! When I was TTC I remember feeling horrible each time someone went im pregnant and I was like why can't it just be me for once instead of other people! I hope you get you BFP soon xx

 

[mg80]

*

 

[Sophe]

wow thats nasty, what a horrible cow...

I just want to see how you are, by the way i'm pregnant...

she should have just said, i don't care if you are having a bad time I can not wait to brag my news and rub your nose in my fertility!

B*tch!!!!

 

[Sophe]

Hi Cooch,

She sounds a very self-absorbed person. She reminds me of an acquaintance I "USED" to have who wouldn't be in touch for months and then would get in touch out of the blue to "ask how I was" only to launch into telling me about her new car/new house/wedding! - so only when she wanted to gloat about things in her life.

In my opinion if your friend was a decent person at all then she would have at LEAST asked how you were feeling after your operation but she didn't. I would end the friendship there if I were you, that alone is a deal-breaker for me without rubbing her BFP in your face. What is with people?! The fertile LOVE to rub their pregnancies in our faces don't they?! I know lots of people say: "I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy" but I'm the opposite. I wish those people had to go through what we go through, instead of conceiving after a couple of months. I wish that NO-ONE could conceive before 1 year of trying, to even up the scores a bit.

Why do people feel the need to go shouting it out right away when they hit that 12 weeks, it's like "Urgh it's a personal thing, you don't need to tell the whole bloody world right away you know"!

Keep your chin up and move on from this friendship and leave her there, she's a crap friend.

LTTC sucks big time, I hope you get your BFP soon!

I used to have friends like this too.... not now though they are not worth it.

 

[cooch]

Thanks for the support. I don't think she meant it in the way I and all of you have/would have taken it. She just doesn't have a clue- its as plain and simple as that. I'm feeling more positive today, instead of ignoring her news I sent her a one word reply- conrgats. I have no intention of being around her or seeing her in the near future.I really do feel that there are some people to relish others' bad news- and I think she just happens to be one of them.

 

[Sophe]

Thanks for the support. I don't think she meant it in the way I and all of you have/would have taken it. She just doesn't have a clue- its as plain and simple as that. I'm feeling more positive today, instead of ignoring her news I sent her a one word reply- conrgats. I have no intention of being around her or seeing her in the near future.I really do feel that there are some people to relish others' bad news- and I think she just happens to be one of them.

Yeah maybe, give her the benefit of the doubt, she may just not have a clue!

Stay away from her for now though, it'll only make you feel crap..

 

[Sophe]

Thanks for the support. I don't think she meant it in the way I and all of you have/would have taken it. She just doesn't have a clue- its as plain and simple as that. I'm feeling more positive today, instead of ignoring her news I sent her a one word reply- conrgats. I have no intention of being around her or seeing her in the near future.I really do feel that there are some people to relish others' bad news- and I think she just happens to be one of them.

Yeah maybe, give her the benefit of the doubt, she may just not have a clue!

Stay away from her for now though, it'll only make you feel crap..

 

[LizMcD]

I agree, best stay away if she has no tact or thought!!

Glad you're feeling better today, its funny what a nights sleep can do. I had a rotten week but I'm feeling more 'up' today.

Yes "Think, believe and receive" is a motto i adopted from the law of attraction! I have been trying really hard - whilst my preg hasn't happened yet i believe it will and that keeps me going. If you can believe it and visualise it (whilst also being grateful for everything you have) the law teaches that you will Receive it!!! lets hope eh.

sending baby dust xx

 

[cooch]

I agree, best stay away if she has no tact or thought!!

Glad you're feeling better today, its funny what a nights sleep can do. I had a rotten week but I'm feeling more 'up' today.

Yes "Think, believe and receive" is a motto i adopted from the law of attraction! I have been trying really hard - whilst my preg hasn't happened yet i believe it will and that keeps me going. If you can believe it and visualise it (whilst also being grateful for everything you have) the law teaches that you will Receive it!!! lets hope eh.

sending baby dust xx

Its funny you should say that as I bought the book The Secret at the start of the summer and was incredibly positive thinking- I didn't my situation at that point. I might pick it up again xx

 

[cooch]

I did send my friend a 'congratulations' message the day after. I didn't just ignore her completely. And she's not a best friend I have seen her twice this year. She has tried calling me again?!! Sorry but when someone knows what my situation is, that I've just had an op and have stated I do not want to talk about it. Telling me about her success as soon as she has her 12 week scan (the week after my news) is definitely rubbing my face in it. The fact that she is wanting to speak to me again makes me quite annoyed. I'm sure some people will think this is nice of her, but I think its pretty selfish

 

[Armywife84]

I mean she's pregnant, I don't believe you lose your brain along with your waistline. What an idiot!

Pregnant women can be VERY selfish. What kills me is when they have the audacity to call a LTTCer selfish. They're too busy basking in that pregnancy glow to be concerned with anyone else.

I'd definitely be giving that "friendship" some space.