One word: Threaten
The worst thing you could ever do to grandma is deny her privileges to baby sit. So warn her, if you disrespect my wishes, you will not see your grandchild unsupervised. I KNOW that I'm going to have to do that with my MIL. She is sweet as pie, but she has no boundries and will do things that I tell her not to. I know grandma's are supposed to spoil their grandkids and that is great, but giving your child unapproved food and not putting them in a carseat is NOT spoiling, its ignorant and dangerous.
No car seat, no babysitting. You MUST be firm about this. How would you ever live with yourself if your baby died in her car? I call the cops on people I see driving around with their little kids not in car seats. As for the animal poop, no way. That is disgusting. My sister had that same issue with her in laws, and the girls are still not allowed over there and they are 8 and 12.
About the "free" babysitting, I'm in the same boat. Yeah it sounds marvelous, but its not all its cracked up to be. Instead of being a caregiver, they are being grandma. Spoiling the baby and ruining the schedule you worked so hard to create. That is my big worry. There will be serious discussions about this before we ever consider my MIL for babysitting while we are at work.
MIL's are always such a pain, aren't they? I feel for you! Mine is great most of the time, but she is a little overbearing sometimes and quite scatter brained! Just stand your ground. Be an avocate for your baby when they can't be one for themselves (Someone else already said this and I love the statement!)
Good luck! The most important thing is to have a supportive hubby and one that isn't scared to stand up to his mom!
