Irrational guilt

[Firestar]

Struggling a lot with this....... any advice?

Is it normal to feel constantly guilty about things at this stage of pregnancy? I feel like it's affecting me a lot - I've struggled on and off with anxiety/depressive thoughts throughout the pregnancy (been having therapy) which has been hard, but the guilt is really eating me - both about my son, and also about my partner.

It's the "little things" - my fiance is out at work all day, and even if I have a day where I am struggling physically, I make myself do the housework so that he doesn't have to do it given that really, he is the one keeping the roof over our heads. I have been off work for a lot of my pregnancy as emotionally and physically I've really struggled - feeling so guilty about this for the same reason - my partner has worked his backside off, and I feel like I "owe" him.

I have spoken to him about how I feel, he's been amazing and is trying to reassure me that he doesn't see it like I do, but I still can't seem to get rid of the feelings of guilt.

In terms of my unborn son...... again, it's feeling guilty about things I've done/not done - it probably sounds ridiculous, but last night, we had a takeaway for the first time since I found out I'm pregnant, and I'm beating myself up about putting crap into my body just because I "couldn't be bothered" to cook last night due to tiredness - normally we cook from scratch and eat healthily.

I really don't want to go back to my doctor, fed up of spending time in the surgery. Everyone I've spoken to thinks that I'm putting pressure on myself to be some ill defined form of "perfect", that it's totally unrealistic to set myself the standards that I am, and that's where the guilt is coming from. I understand what they are saying (it makes sense), but it is doing nothing to relieve the feelings of guilt.

Fed up

 

[JillMc]

You are not alone. I know I feel the same way myself. DH keeps telling me just to "chill out" but sometimes there is nothing else you can do but worry. I went thru the same thing when pregnant with DD and people would say it goes away after you hold your baby and everything will be find. It did some, but some people are always worriers and I am one of them. Now this pregnancy is worse than last, becaue I have all the same fears and worry that I had with first, but now also worried that DD will hate me when I bring the new baby home. I know this probably wasnt the helpful answer you were loking for, but just wanted you to know that you are not alone and there are plenty of us out there going thru this too

 

[melbell]

I've been very similar! Obsessing over healthy eating, feeling bad when I don't, I over analyze the cleanliness of the house and the safety of cleaning products used. I had a three week hospitalization due to extreme stomach pains, had to have x ray, MRI and other things done so I also worry about that. Thank goodness I'm having my baby Tuesday, mandatory c section! But I also worry about having him at 39 weeks instead of going naturally, which I can't for medical reasons.
I'm not of much help but I think its pretty normal to worry. When it gets really bad I just try to shut it off , or distract myself. The chances are good that you will have a perfect, healthy baby!