Is a Homebirth for me?

[kiwimama]

Although we haven't got a baby cooking just yet, I am looking at homebirth for our next child. I have read up alot about it, currently reading a book by Ina May Gaskin.

When I think back to my last labour and birth with my dd, I think I did pretty well, although I do remember being quite out of control with it all. My breathing was so out of control I couldn't even use the g&a properly.

After talking to OH last night, he has told me things that I have no memory of ever happening. Apparently I took him into the toilet and told him that my midwife was being horrible and he was to tell her I needed an epidural (which I didn't end up having thank god.) I do remember during transition that during contractions I was saying "Don't let me have another one" over and over and this is when they gave me pethidine, even though I said no (although OH says he doesn't remember this.)

I now feel worried that maybe I'm not cut out for labouring and birthing at home, maybe I'm not strong enough... But I don't want to birth in hospital again. The car ride there was HELL and I don't think my wishes were followed, I often think if I hadn't been given pethidine so close to birth that maybe we could have been more successful at bfing...

I think that hypnobirthing would be beneficial for me, but when I just looked up classes they are REALLY expensive and I can't afford to do them.
I really do want a homebirth and up until the chat I had with OH last night I thought I could do it but now I'm not so sure. Has anyone else had doubts going into a homebirth or is it just me being a wimp?

 

[milkmachine]

i think its normal to say crazy things in labour and not remember them regardless how strong you may or may not be
I think home birth has nothing to do with being strong, i think if you REALLY want to do it it will happen. you are also more likely to feel in control in your own home. There are some amazing beautiful empowering books you can read to boost your confidence,perhaps if yu read some then you would be in a good place to decided if home birth is for you or not. only you can really answer that question.
giving birth the easy way by sheila stubbs is a stunning read, you can buy this from mervs mum on here as she is the uk distributor. i got mine directly from the autor in Canada and it took WEEEEKS. also there is the practical guide to homebirth, which i found really interesting https://www.bookfellas.co.uk/scripts/browse.asp?ref=1905177062&source=K84

take care!

 

[mrsmo7]

Only you can answer if homebirth is for you. But everything that you said about your hospital birth is normal! and you would probably feel better, more in control and more relaxed at home!
xx

 

[madasa]

You don't have to be strong to birth at home. Birthing at home can make you feel stronger tho, more relaxed, more in control... Oh and the buzz you get when the baby slips out into your hands... I sometimes look back and wonder how I got thru the early wks with my first without that amazing high to carry me along!

 

[summer rain]

Hi

I'm currently trying to convince my SIL to try for a home birth this time but she had a similar hospital experience to you. I also did with my eldest; and there was definitely something in the hospital atmosphere that contributed to feeling out of control; I know they gave me tranquilisers to help me sleep for a few hours when I was just getting into established labour (since there was one poor midwife dealing with many women on the ante-natal ward me suspects it was more down to making the women easier to handle) although I woke up I did feel like I was in a drugged state for the rest of the labour; even before I was on the gas and air.

With my second baby I was encouraged to have a home birth but we were staying at my parents at the time so I didn't feel comfortable; still that hospital experience was far better as though it was a consultant led unit; it was more like a birthing centre. I had my youngest at home and due to it being such a fast labour and a mix up on the part of the midwives I didn't even get to have gas and air; but I did it and I felt really empowered. I could go to the toilet whenever I wanted, eat and drink when and where and what I wanted, and afterwards I could eat a DECENT meal and go to sleep in my own bed. My son slept wonderfully the first night (the night after was another matter lol) and when I was awoken the next day by the midwife coming around I had to be reminded I had just had a baby 12 hours earlier because I really felt fine.

Soph x

 

[snagglepat]

I'd worked as a doula for several years before I had my daughter and was absolutely convinced that home birth was for me. I had my partner, my sister and my cousin all there as support and they were all drilled extensively on how important it was for me to stay at home. Still during my labour I moaned like a banshee, swore, demanded an epidural and a caesarean and reached the point where all I wanted was for someone to make it all go away. Birth is hard work no matter where you do it, but by being at home I could do what I wanted when, felt completely relaxed, had my own team around me who were unwavering in their support and it was those things that made the difference in the end. As soon as I reached full dilation and got to the other side of transition I was a changed woman and loved every minute of the second stage. I was so glad I was still at home to experience that and her birth was just amazing. I can't wait to do it again.

And this time my partner and my sister know what to expect so can do an even better job of not letting me wimp out.

You've got plenty of time to keep considering the options. You really don't need to make a decision for sure until the final stages of pregnancy and you might feel very differently by then, one way or the other.

Gina. x