Is anyone else worried how they will be treated during labour?

[tiggerpony]

Last week I had to go into the hospital where I'm giving birth to be monitored due to reduced baby movements. Anyway while I was there they were so busy they had to put a lady opposite me who was in labour up on the unit I was on. Anyway, she was a first time mum and she was really frightened, she was crying and kept asking if it was normal to be in that much pain and she was making horrible in pain noises (not screaming) when this midwife checked her. The midwife suddenly snapped at her saying "oh for goodness sake, loads of women do this every day and don't make a fuss! How are you going to cope if you can't even cope now when you are only 2cm dilated?!" The lady didn't respond (I think she was shocked) and then the midwife tutted and walked off. Then, she had a gush of water come out of her and she beeped for the midwife to come back and a differnt one appeared, saying she was wasting their time and she needed to keep quiet because she was upsetting the other people in the unit! She wasn't upsetting me at all and I actully wanted to go hold her hand, but I didn't because I was strapped to a monitor on the bed!

Anyway, so I am now really worried I will be treated like shite when I go into labour. I know for a fact I'll be scared and there will prob be lots of tears... has anyone ever experienced a nasty midwife before when in labour? How did you deal with it?

 

[mummytori]

omg thats awful!! an really scary!! can i ask which hospital your using?!?!
not experienced anything like that, but im sure its pretty normal to worry bout it, im a natural born worrier anyway and have got pretty much everything covered in the worrying department!

 

[tiggerpony]

omg thats awful!! an really scary!! can i ask which hospital your using?!?!
not experienced anything like that, but im sure its pretty normal to worry bout it, im a natural born worrier anyway and have got pretty much everything covered in the worrying department!

I am giving birth at Poole Hospital in Dorset (South West of England) . I have had no problems with them before though (I have been in a few times due to things going wrong) but then I havn't been in labour yet...

 

[keljt1127]

omg that makes me angry reading that! how terrible !
gosh its not like there doing this for free!!! either way really!

I hope i dont get treated anything like that or i will be getting my mother on them lol

 

[flumpsmummy]

not every mw is like that, even tho no mw should be like that cos its their job, you will be fine and if you are not happy with a certain mw you get then make a complaint and ask for another one,

just seen a reply you made to another post and think this may be useful too you.xx

https://www.babyandbump.com/forum-help-testing-area/730-babyandbump-lingo-abbreviations.html

 

[londonangel]

Oh gosh, that is AWFUL! I hope you don't get a midwife like her when you go into labour. I hope I don't get a midwife like her, for that matter. I am probably going to be frightened and crying and it will be so much worse if they are nasty to me! She sounds like a horrid midwife. Fingers crossed the other ones there are nicer.

 

[Brieanna]

Oh that poor lady! That made me mad reading it because I am sure everyone is frightened their first time and the more frightened you are the worse the pain is! They should have been much calmer and nicer to her. Yes, lots of women have gone through that before, but SHE hasn't! Maybe they had a bad day or something, but that was very unprofessional and if they can't suck it up and act civil, they should get a new job imo.

Hopefully that was a rare occurrence that won't happen to you, but if it does remember that there is nothing wrong with you and that they are the ones who are behaving bad. Hopefully you get a nice mw, but if not try not to let some b*tch ruin your birth experience and make it hurt more than it needs to.

BTW, this is my first baby and I KNOW I will cry and blubber and make a fool of myself, but hopefully I have understanding nurses and at least my OH will be there the entire time supporting me.

 

[MummyinJune]

Thats horrible!! i would deff put in a written complaint explaining your concerns.
Im a bit worried as i dont n which hosp until later today im going in and the one i might have to go to (If babies not engaged) i have heard awfull things about - leaving u dehydrated etc as they r understaffed. But what u saw is really bad xx

 

[eeyore123]

i did have a nasty horrible midwife with my 2nd............ i will never forget her......... i was in full labour ( they said only 2cm but it turned out babys head was pushing my cervix and made it appear less than it really was , so in fact i was 6-8 cm )
she walked in, sat on a spinning chair, swing from side to side and ask how i was........... i cried ' i'm in pain, it really hurts'
she just lent back and said ''thats what u get for having sex!!!!!!!!!!''

my hubby had to grab me as i was ready to knock her out! i believe i actually said ' oh my god i'm gonna hit her' as i tried to get off the bed.......
she left and i shouted i wanted a different midwife, i didnt want her back in my room........... thankfully i got a new midwife who was lovely.
But outta my 4 labours i've only ever meet that one midwife who i wanted to kill ........ most are lovely and really make u feel at home/safe and are very understanding xxx

 

[milf2be]

if she was in that much pain and not coping, then she should have been on labour ward having something stronger then on a maternity ward!If they were full on labour ward then fair enough - but give her a private room or at least dont moan at her for making noises when shes in pain. some women find it soothing to make noises and it helps them cope with the pain.

unfortunately, as a student, iv seen this before the one thing i dont like when looking after a woman in labour is being sworn at (when its directly aimed at me) because i still deserve respect, no matter how much pain the person is in and thats the only time i would "tell someone off" , but IMO as long as the woman isnt out of control, just let her get on with it how she feels fit!!

i would make a complaint tbh, i see that as bullying and it really isnt right x

 

[kimber89]

oh that is terrible if i was treated like that they wont know what will hit them!! my bf wouldnt be too happy either. all the midwives that are like that shouldnt work doing this job. it can be scary for women who have had kids already never mind someone having their first! i know they see it everyday and prob get fed up with it but they have to stay professional and treat every women with kindness. its when a women is at the most vulnerable they need to remember that!!

 

[leahsbabybump]

thats awful and yes i had a terrible midwife with my first she accused me of lying about how much pain i was in and refused to give me pain relief and told me to go home as the monitor was saying the contractions were week and i was attention seeking and wasting their time :-@ my nan was with me at the time and demanded a second opinion so another mw came along did an internal said i was 8cm dialated and needed to me moved to L&D asap :-@
bubs was born 5 hour later so so much for the lying about the pain etc
im dreading it incase i get the same mw again :-/

 

[mons75]

Thats terrible.... I fear similar, have had lovely midwives and a really bad one at my appointments. The bad one didnt listen to me and made me sad and stressed. Hoping to get the lottery luck on a good one when actually in labour.

 

[sinead266]

She should have asked for the sister in charge and made a complaint, I'd end up in jail cause I wouldn't be ab le to control my anger especially when in pain. Take no crap from them.

 

[JLFKJS]

That really is terrible! I'm glad I'll have my mother with me because if anyone says anything foul to me It's her they have to deal with, and that wont be pretty. lol

 

[kimber89]

thats awful and yes i had a terrible midwife with my first she accused me of lying about how much pain i was in and refused to give me pain relief and told me to go home as the monitor was saying the contractions were week and i was attention seeking and wasting their time :-@ my nan was with me at the time and demanded a second opinion so another mw came along did an internal said i was 8cm dialated and needed to me moved to L&D asap :-@
bubs was born 5 hour later so so much for the lying about the pain etc
im dreading it incase i get the same mw again :-/

jesus i cant believe that!! wish they would all do their job properly..hope i get nice midwives im so scared about labour and i would hate to get a terrible one!!

 

[peachypie]

OMG! All your horror midwives stories have shocked me. It is my first baby and I am already so so scared of labour and I pray that I get a decent midwife.

 

[MrsPOP]

Aw the poor girl, sounds like she was really frightened

I cannot stand my CWMs but each time I've had to go to hospital (including today) they've been wonderful so I'm not worried. Plus if I do get a horrible MW then God help her because I don't take any sh*t from anyone and neither does my mum who will be with me. When my mum was having me, she told the MW she needed to push and the MW actually tried to close my mum's legs together to stop her from pushing and kept shouting at her....so my mum ended up kicking the MW across the room!!!! I was born 10 minutes later

Ive worked in hospitals for many years and have to say in all variations of health professionals there's always a handful of staff who are horrible and really should only ever work with robots or dead people. But the majority of staff are lovely. If any of you get a horrible tw^t like that MW, be brave, tell her she is out of order, complain and ask for a different MW. Noone should have to take shoddy care!

 

[TwilightAgain]

Thats disgusting! When in labour, a woman is at her most vulnerable, I can't believe some midwives treat you like crap, why on earth are they doing that job? Of course you're going to get moaning women, they're in pain! Jeez

 

[Eliza_V]

This is one of the reasons I'm going for a homebirth.. I'd like to see a MW try and treat me like crap on MY turf! She'll feel the wrath of a labouring woman, my angry hubby and my cat.. Not a violent threat, but a sharp "get out of my house" and a formal complaint!! I think they'd be more careful when in someone elses house as they're not the "boss". Well, one can hope anyway!