is breast best??

[metu]

i know i am getting ahead of myself but...

me and my OH are ttc atm and i have been thinking all along that it would be best for our children (not got any yet.....but we intend to have a few lol) if they wer breast or bottle fed??

i was breast so i would say it would be better....BUT my OH doesnt want to bf! i know its a bit early to be even thinking about this but i was just wondering wot everyones intentions are?? "forward-slash" wot ever anyone has done in the past with thier previous bundles of joy??


just have to add i cant wait!!!! and it i a possible (wich is good on hogmany) but we arent going to test atm because we dont want the bad news (or the "delay of good news") but i'm keeping my fingers crossed....

 

[coccyx]

Think it is a very individual thing. I breastfed all my 3 and loved it. OH can be involved in winding, cuddles, bathing, and changing! Good luck on ttc in 2008

 

[dakini]

I don't really see a problem with either BFing or not. One of my SILs was able to and the other not. Both sets of kids have turned out fine.

I personally want to BF for at least a few months, but if I can't, then I can't. (That's what happened to the one SIL). i also don't want to have the kids munching on me once they have teeth! But we'll see. It's a very personal decision, but I think either is fine. Though I don't agree with letting the baby wean themselves...that leads to kids walking up to Mommy and opening the shirt to BF...I have a friend that's doing that and I find it disturbing to see a toddler walking up to Mommy and asking for milk...but that's only MO.

 

[Caroline]

If OH wants to get involved you can also express and he can give a bottle once lo is ~ 6 weeks old.

 

[CherryBlossom]

I want to breast feed if i can i just believe that is natrual so wont bother me being in public but i know it can bother other people. i agree with Dakini about the weening i watched a program where this mum had an 8 yr old and was still breast feeding i felt very uncoftable watching it. but i think its a very personal decision x

 

[beanie]

In terms of health benefits etc, finances then breastfeeding has been shown to be the best but it is a personal decision. Some women are unable to physically or emotionally whilst others just don't like the thought. All I ever advise is that if you are undecided at least try it, the colostrum is so good for them, and it is miles easier to switch from boob to bottle then the other way round.

Though I don't agree with letting the baby wean themselves...that leads to kids walking up to Mommy and opening the shirt to BF...I have a friend that's doing that and I find it disturbing to see a toddler walking up to Mommy and asking for milk...but that's only MO.

hmm maybe someoine should have had a word with my toddler as she didn't fit into that behaviour pattern. In fact I know a lot of extended nursing mums and never seen their children go over and undo the shirt or top. I have heard them ask if they can have milk (big deal there) and if they are told no not yet they just accept it. So extended nursing does not always lead onto the behaviour you describe.

The world ave for weaning is 4 years (the 8 year old was an extreme hence why channel 4 got all excited to show what "weirdos" are out there) but there are many proven benefits for a child that chooses to nurse past their first and even second birthday, both emotionally and physically. If it makes you uncomfortable then don't do it but please don't look down at those mothers who choose to do so. Breastfeeding my toddler was a very rewarding experience for me. And as for its wrong when they can ask for it, what do you think they are asking for when they are crying as babies? My daughter used to ask for booby, queitly and I would feed her if I was able to. Sadly my pregnancy meant my milk dried up and she self weaned, and I am very proud of her for doing so. She decided when she was ready and it suited us both. I hate the fact that it is more acceptable for me to feed my toddler milk from another animal then milk that is made just for her but I hope that people just accept that mums choose to do what they feel is best for their baby.

 

[dakini]

hmm maybe someoine should have had a word with my toddler as she didn't fit into that behaviour pattern. In fact I know a lot of extended nursing mums and never seen their children go over and undo the shirt or top. I have heard them ask if they can have milk (big deal there) and if they are told no not yet they just accept it. So extended nursing does not always lead onto the behaviour you describe.

The world ave for weaning is 4 years (the 8 year old was an extreme hence why channel 4 got all excited to show what "weirdos" are out there) but there are many proven benefits for a child that chooses to nurse past their first and even second birthday, both emotionally and physically. If it makes you uncomfortable then don't do it but please don't look down at those mothers who choose to do so. Breastfeeding my toddler was a very rewarding experience for me. And as for its wrong when they can ask for it, what do you think they are asking for when they are crying as babies? My daughter used to ask for booby, queitly and I would feed her if I was able to. Sadly my pregnancy meant my milk dried up and she self weaned, and I am very proud of her for doing so. She decided when she was ready and it suited us both. I hate the fact that it is more acceptable for me to feed my toddler milk from another animal then milk that is made just for her but I hope that people just accept that mums choose to do what they feel is best for their baby.

I am not saying extended bf will always lead to "interesting" behaviour, but I have seen toddlers walk up to their mothers and just start opening their shirts! it may be the extreme, but I have seen it a few times, as well as toddlers loudly asking for booby or milk and seen the mother get embarrassed.

If someone wants to bf for a long time, that's their decision, and if you can, that's great. I have just seen some behaviour that disturbs me. It's not going to be my personal decision to bf until baby is 1 as I also have to go back to work, but if you want to, that's your decision.

It's a very personal decision, and no one should influence you one way or another. I agree, you should at least try for the first month or so as the...whatever it is, can't spell it...is very beneficial. But if you can't, or don't want to, that's okay too. Everyone is different and I've just seen too many people let it get out of hand (in terms of toddler asking at inappropriate times and not taking no for an answer) from more than one mother and child. I wasn't suggesting it's wrong, just I personally don't agree with the behaviour I have seen.

 

[CherryBlossom]

i'm sorry if i offened anyone i didn't mean to.

 

[dakini]

Didn't offend me, and I'm not offended by anyone's opinion, just hope I didn't offend anyone with mine. (I have been known to do that in the past....oops.)

 

[CherryBlossom]

not offened at all

 

[beanie]

no-one offended me,like I said if EN is not for you then don't do it. It just hurts when people use words such as disturbing to describe something I have done.

 

[dakini]

Sorry Beanie if you took what I said wrong. (As I've said, I have been known to say things wrong in the past.) what's disturbing to me is not the length of breastfeeding, but when an older toddler walks up and *demands* to be bf and won't take no as an answer. That's all.

 

[metu]

i hadnt even thought about extended nursing....the only thing that i knew was that at least at first the baby needs to get anitbodies from the mummy because newborns dont have much of an immune system?? and i knew that there was a bonding thing there...especially if i wanted to give my OH plenty of rest and breaks after the baby is born (so she gets back to being herself and back to feeling 100%)

 

[Jamie]

i didnt b/f and my son is 100% healthy! In fact- last month was the first time he had ever gotten sick ) Its a personal choice and it should be something that YOU are comfy with!

 

[anita665]

There are loads of reasons why breast is better than bottle

- It passes on you're antibodies as babies immune systems aren't developed.
- It changes consitancy so you're baby gets more food at times and more to drink at others, depending on what it needs.
- It will pass on exactly the right amount of nurients that your baby needs.
- It's instantly there when you need it at the right temperature.
- It supposedly creates less stinky nappies.

..... and lots more which I can't remember.

I doubt I'll do it for long but want to try for at least 3 months to give my baby the best start.

 

[UptonGirl]

hey, i can totally understand why your other half doesnt want to breastfeed. this is my first pregnancy and although i am very maternal and i was breastfed myself and despite EVERYONE i know saying "breast is best" - at the moment and i stress...at the moment.....(things may change when baby here) i can not see myself ever breast feeding.it just doesnt sit comfortably with me.i have brough a breast pump and plan to express for a few days as the benefits of early breast milk are supposed to be very good for the baby but then i plan to do a mix of tesco's baby milk and will try and express my own. i think that your partner should do exactly what she feels comfortable doing.goodluck ttc.x

 

[Lazy Leo]

I have to say that I am in the "bottle milk is just as good" category but I have a lot of respect for any mother who does chose to breasfeed, with the demands, the expressing and the looks from those who don't approve - well I imagine its tough at times.

I wasn't breastfed and neither was my brother. We are both very happy and my mum is my best friend so it had no negative impact on our relationship. In fact when she had my brother I was 19 and although I didn't realise it at the time, I held my brother before my mum did!! She had a heck of a time delivering a 10lb 15oz baby without a C-Section and they whisked her off immediately to stitch her up, meaning my dad got to hold him but she didn't. I didn't realise that until he was about 2 years old but it hasn't affected her bond with him either. So I don't believe a lot of the myths about things helping mums to bond with their kids - you do or you don't and I don't think breast feeding or holding is the deciding factor. Do what is best for you - and by extension your baby - if you aren't comfortable neither will your baby be I don't think.

 

[acv_17]

I'm not trying to judge anyone, but when I have babies, breast milk will be my only option, even if I have to pump. I just would rather not have to clean so many bottles if I don't have to, lol. I'd like to breastfeed full time when they're babies, but go to part time after they're eating solids,...maybe until they're 2, but then again if it happens sooner I'll be ok as long as they're healthy.

 

[foreverlove]

I was 19 nearly 20 when I got got pregnant with my first.

Noone in my family breastfed, I never thought about breastfeeding at all.

My partners mother breastfed him and his sister, she never pushed it but said it was an option.

I went ot antenatal classes and they spoke about it how demanding it was, it sacred the life out of me and I didnt want to do it.

When my daughter was born I tried to latch her on and she wouldnt ( I was gutted) this was because I had pethidine ( I really dont recommend you have that crap! )
We went to the ward and the nurse tried to give her a bottle I was very angry! and felt like I couldnt do the best for my child, I continued to try and latch her on and then she did it about 6 hours later after birth! i was so happy.

It is hard in the begining and you dont know whats right or wrong, but the supports there if you look for it.

Now 13 months on im still breastfeeding my little girl ( though shes not fed at all for two days )
And I run a support group online for breasteeding mums, certainly not something I could say I would be doing 3 years ago!

What im trying to say is, I think that if your open minded aout anything in life you have choices, and with choices you can find the right solution.

Breastfeeding HAS given me a fabulous bond with my child, shes only ever had a cold and this is being round sicky childrenw with bugs etc ( shes very sociable ) and never caught any of the nasty bugs ( not saying she never will though)

The good bacteria in the babies belly is produced and maintained through breastfeeding, thats why its the best way to feed your child, saying that I feel very sorry for the mothers that do try and due to lack of support have to give up, thats one of the reasons I set up my support group.

I will be breastfeeding my next child and any other children I have int he future