is it inconsiderate?

[TrixieLox]

It is a tad insentive, I had the same thing with a work colleague the other week.

But I wonder how your husband would've felt if his co-worker had shown everyone but not him?

It's very difficult for people to know how to act around those of us who struggle to conceive.

I guess this is my way of saying we must try to hard to keep hold of the fact that it's as special for them as it will be for us, so they have every right to their excitement, which can sometimes lead to them being a tad insensitive. If that makes sense? I try to be positive and not think people r being intentionally insensitive. x

 

[Trying4ever]

[QUOTE

may be i should just show him my polyp picture !!! and tell him SO ? do you see where my possible problem of not concieve is coming from?[/QUOTE]

 

[Omi]

I agree with most on here... I think, since they knew what hard slog ttc has been for you, a little sensitivity would have gone a long way. I do not buy the idea that they are just sooo exited yada, yada.. Nope. As fellow human beings we should all try to think of eachothers feelings. yes, i know its utopia..but shouldnt we at least try?

I mean, crap...we are; to each other and other normally conceiving/fertile people. Maybe i just have a higher standard? I dont care how friggin' happy you are, you've not lost your senses, get a grip!

i also suspect lttc is a sort of subject/ topic that is often poo-pooed a bit amongst a lot of people who have no experience of it in any way. I do however, as i mentioned above, expect more: Just because i have not exeprienced certain things does not mean i do not have sympathy, empathy even!

So, yeah, Miel. It was inconsiderate. There are ways of doing these things with some tact and caring.

Rant over, lol!!

 

[Jkelmum]

The thing is if he was showing everybody and missed your hubby out for the reason u are havin a hard time ttc wouldnt that make your hubby feel worse i dont think there is a right ir wrong anwer i mean other then not show anyone at work which isnt fair to him either ... as somebody that has no idea what u are going thru i know that when i showed my scan picture off i avoided 2 friends of mine bcos they was with another friend of mine who as been ttc for 4 yrs then one of those friends was annoyed cos she hadnt seen the scan .....i think its very hard to know what is right to do
hugs and babydust serina xxx

 

[Omi]

I dont think its hard to know what is the right or wrong way at all. We can all pick up if someone is being sincere, sensitive or damn inconsiderate!

In the end, its how i said. TRY to imagine how others are feeling and go from there. If it was me..well... i appreciate honestly, and as such i would've (and my OH too) liked to have an aknowledgement of my feelings. it doesnt have to be an either or situation!!! You can tell people, but sensitively with a nod to the other persons situation.

i dont think any one of us are saying ' keep us in the dark', ' dont tell us'. Full stop. Not at all. Just dont go about like a bull in a china shop!

 

[Vestirse]

Like Omi says, I think it just requires a little more sensitivity. I'm not saying he shouldn't have shown it to Miel's OH, but how about explaining the situation and asking if he wants to see it instead of shoving it in his face? Is a bit of courtesy and consideration too much to ask?

I am definitely going to tell that girl from work whose been TTC for two years if and when I get pregnant. I have in fact decided she will be the first at work to know. I do NOT want it getting around to her secondhand because she's been a good friend these past two years. Because of what I know she's been through, telling her would without a doubt require more sensitivity.

It would be one thing if that guy did not know about Miel and her husband's journey, but they do! He must be really lacking in the sensitivity department if he thought shoving a scan picture in Miel's OH's face was the best way to go about it. And then they expect that Miel and her OH will want to go out with them... Right.

 

[superp123]

I agree with littlestar. I've had very similar situation to hers, twice now with my SIL and a good freind. Being handled like you're going to shatter at any moment does not make you feel any less pissed. In fact its actually more annoying and hurtful. You walk away wondering what they really must think of you. Its horrible, even though its usually done with the best intensions.
On the flip side, the situation your in right now. I think the guy was inconsiderate. Although I wonder if he was really just being a dick or if he was just so excited he didn't think twice. I'm always more inclined to think the best of people, and say that he was just happy about the new baby. And girls, it's hard to hate a guy who loves his baby so much he's making an ass out of himself at work. LOL
I think your handling it well hun. Keep a safe distance with them and you'll be okay. Chin up chicky, your day is comin'.
P